bored in school

was so super bored in school today..thank god that school's ending soon so its back to normal sleeping time instead of waking up so early to get in time for quiz..lol..took some pics while having presentation..shows u how bored jack in the box is in class..

we all haf the damn spastic look..ahhh cant wait for US trip..loves classmate..

random ramblings..

waiting for the sky to darken and for it not to be so cold before i go jogging..went zenitant today to earn a little extra cash before flying off to US and for additional pocket money..hung out at ikea with classmates before heading down to bukit merah..had brazilian hot chicks and meatballs! yum!! toked a lot, and it was den that i decided that i shld jog tonight..its really worth a try..since mr lee's fren can lose so much weight in a month..plus ive nothing much to lose besides fat anyway..and jogging somehow seems to be getting quite fun..CRAP, im getting into the lets go jog illness!! this is NOT good..

this module is really tiring..much reseach to do and theres quiz everyday so haf to study..grrrr guess thats wat happens as u go on to higher education..things are more complicated and u haf to understand wats happening..oh well..before i go for my jog, pictures and pictures and more pictures!



introducing to you, The Dream Team! :D we go thru a lot, esp last sunday when there was a bit of drama during meeting..but guess thats wat a team's thats getting closer will encounter ba..cos the closer u get to one another, the more friction there will be..i will miss them..a lot..

central AB in camp..see those new ppl that juz joined us ever so recently? all of them are growing really well..and joshua's a shepherd now :) am proud of their growth..really proud..make sure u boys grow well in the future too alright, and dun give up in ANY circumstances..

hello daixuan..u are a really enjoyable sheep..tho we are so different but its been a blessing for me :) dun give up on ur grp, and grow well too..

and this is ms say xiangyu..was supposed to pose as being sad so that explains my emo face..taken in CL retreat..working's tough but oh well, we all haf to do it one day..lol..

ting's water bap..first picture of us every taken together!! lol..i know a bit slow ah us..tho we were a team for quite sometime but only take foto after we split..haha..but it werent for that shepherd sheep partnership, i would haf never made such a wonderful fren..and winnie too hahah..

previous central b..this seems juz like yesterday..

DTY which is somewhat not functioning now due to us focusing on group discipleship and building a stronger wineskin..dun worry, im sure DTY will continue in future, with more ppl..

qianjin with suspenders which he wanted to wear for his singing on stage last sat..he was almost shot down by kim i tink..who banned him from wearing it..looks so cute la!! like a happy small boy!! haha..

mi and dear who went shopping at far east that day..we both got new tops!! so excited and happy hahah..oh yeah, not to forget those eyeshades from MAC..shopaholics we are!!

retarded pics of mismatch gang when we went to watch movie and kbox on new year's eve..had a blast there and we messed up the place like crap! i tink we got our 37.50 bucks worth of fun there! lol..wat with the peanut throwing and everything..

hahah thats the end of pics! going for my jog now..byes ppl!

shopping spreeeeee

hello! went shopping with mismatch at bugis on friday night and got a da feng shou!! adel still say got nothing to buy there..i saw so many things i wana buy la!! juz no money only lol..dear came to my house with the intention to swim and suntan before shopping but the sky was pouring every few minutes so we didnt had the chance to swim..ended up slacking at my house instead..lol..ok these are wat i got..



yeah wore this for hosting on sat..liked it immd when i first laid eyes on it! like WHOA I HAF TO GET THIS..hahah but dunno whether i would wear it on the streets as often as i would like to..cos ppl would tink im retarded but so wat!?..haha..


got a bag for cny..didnt intend to get a bag but it was too nice to resist..lol..and gold is juz so nice..

dear i found leggings there!! and i found ur jeans and top..so many things there la..hahah so glad i didnt haf to pay 33 bucks for leggings..which i wanted to get from at first from dorothy perkins or something..

nice shoes that i got while shopping with ayu dear and riyan..hahah that day ended up with only me buying something, when im not the one supposed to get something lol..i really shop too much..

ok haven got my top from dorothy perkins..gonna get it when i meet shepherd for shepherding on tues..hahah i tink this shepherding is gonna be..interesting..lol..some more pic below..

this is my sheep sinyee..haha she was performing for ess and i did her hair of which im extremly happy with so i decided to snap a foto..cant really see here tho..and my another sheep june, which i didnt take a pic of (so angry at myself) played guitar for the performance..they won the competition! :D

ahah cant see my makeup here..or can u? dunno la..

yeah and this is my and kerlyn..i tell u its really funny! we changed our style of clothing at the exact same time! i rmb last time our hairstyle used to be more punk and we didnt discussed it..weird weird..

school tml sian! anyways, my losing streak in dota has officially ended!!! won all dunno how many games when we played juz now!! GREAT!!

memories

i was on the way back one day when i passed by my sec sch campus along jurong road..looked out for the school's name but it wasnt there anymore and i was tinking wat happened when i rmb that lily told mi the school moved to somewhere else..just for a moment, i got quite sad..

i rmb commonwealth so vividly like it was juz yesterday man..the stupid things we did esp in 4/5..i miss our classroom so much and the holes in the ceiling where we always hid our hps and mp3s whenever there was a spot check..den i started tinking of how rash and impulsive and quite corny i was when i was in lower sec..in 1B and 2/2 and how someone fell off the hill and broke his head..lol..

gosh i really miss those days man..at that time it seemed as tho the world was a big fun happy place and time flew by like how an eagle swops down to capture his prey..wat an analogy btw lol, quite dumb..loved 3/5 and 4/5 especially for all the horrible things we did to our juniors and giving our teachers hell and making a name for ourselves in the school..how the national anthem will be played every morning but we would all be sitting down and copying homework drom the only smart guy in class..rmb band days which were like on tues, wed, thurs and sats and the practices we had and how we sweated it out in the stuffy hot underground shelter before the air con came..rmb how we complained like mad abt seniors and our conductor who didnt like girls very much..

the fields, home econs room, 4/5 classrom, band room, music room, lit room, the horrible track, earthworms that crawled into the 1B classroom everytime it rained, the staircases etc etc..rmb how someone got beaten up cos he sprayed water at the ah beng, how geof wong amused us with his singing in Amaths class, how tan sai hong almost puked blood with our mischief, how mr sim used to forget to zip his pants and so many more things! i really really miss those days man..i tink i can still rmb the class register, who sit where and the register numbers for the whole class after staring at the register for 1 whole year while i was the monitress..

u dun miss something, until its gone.

i tink, i would really miss MDIS too when i graduate..it was so vivid when i was wearing that blue uniform and rushing off to school with my incomplete chemistry homework but now im sitting in front of the com juz abt to start on my mass com homework..16 den, 21 now..man, its been 5 yrs..that is a LONG time..how i wish, time stopped when i was in 4/5..i miss my class :)

i realise, im gonna graduate really soon..i used to tink, aiya 4 more months..den i tot of css..at that time, i tot aiya still haf 1 yr..haha, it slipped right past my fingers like how sand slips past one's fingers..i wonder, wat would i be doing after i graduate..will i go back to studying after 2 yrs like wat wj and i discussed? wat kind of job would i be doing? where would i be - youth, adults? so many decisions, so many factors..i wonder, where does god wan mi to go?

it starts with 21

i absolutely love my caregroup :D

sunday is a day i look forward to..and i tink harry is super talented with the self-decorated black notebook that he gave all of us for christmas, with the little cartoon at the back..can see it was REALLY a lot of work but its nice!! y is some ppl so creative yet some others now?haha, the mixture in the world..

yest clm was all abt church planting..with a sharing by this sister who went church planting in peru..one of the things she said was that she went with a team who were different, had different spiritual gifts and they complemented one another..she said the team was impt, cos they each had a specific role to play and they all needed one another..den i tot of caregroup..the thought of going church planting with them, sharing the joys and burdens, laughter and the tears..that was a nice scene..yeah, it was a really nice scene indeed..we can go anywhere, cos dan knows french and jiehui knows spanish..and we can all teach english classes too!! i tink anywhere isnt too tough with the grp..i would willingly spend my whole life with this team acheiving the plans that god set for us..dun worry key, im not unbalanced..if god wans something else, i will follow too..haha..

this is a gift from god that i didnt tink i treasure very much back den..i didnt see the value of this frenship till recently..thank you dear father :D u haf given mi a wonderful gift indeed..come one caregroup members, let us help one another and reach 600 :D god would be really happy i tink haha..

im going for 101..CB3 are u all going for 101 with me? i dun tink ive been so, determined, so desperate for something before..never had this feeling, this feeling of you must do it, theres no other way..im gonna trust jesus, im gonna pray ferverntly, im going to fast every friday till the end of the year, im going to infringe onto the property of satan and get 101 ppl out of there..theres no doubt abt it, i will do it..theres no other way..this is the road ive chose, there is no turning back..

during clm that day..while we were worshipping god..my lovely father told me, jinqi u muz persevere, u muz continue, the dreams that u dreamt will come true one day, u muz muz grow..i muz grow, i tink ive finally seen it..there really is no other path for me..its 101 for now..and den it will be more..god tell mi and i ll obey..i will grow, i ll do big things for you..its all or nothing, there is no turning back :) my precious saviour, im forever urs..forever..

i am gonna be a world changer. but first, it starts with 101..no, now, it starts with 21..21 souls for jesus, CB3 u guys ready?

screwed up world

am studying and im getting kinda stressed finally cos exams are tml and i haven finished studying..and theres so much to do and theres so much to memorize that i fear that i wouldnt haf time to squeeze everything into my brain..but, all i haf to blame is myself for not starting earlier..

dear lord..sorry i broke my first resolution of starting homework and revision earlier and not procrastinate..i wun do it again..so help mi my haevenly father..for only in you, can i truly change..

schools abt to end..graduation's coming soon..it seems as tho it was juz yest that i got back my sucky A lvl results and tink of wat to do in the future..gosh, can u believe that almost 2 years haf juz flown past? sometimes, i tink i dun treasure things till they are gone..but ive improved! im starting to miss things that are still here but are gonna be gone soon..haha..i wonder how our lives would be like..i wonder whether jack in the box would still meet every once a month..adel our dear secretary pls do help us in this alright..we are such procrastinators haha..

politics is one hell of a sucky subject man..as i was reading thru my horribly thick book with words that fill the whole of a page, i wonder if a country can survive if there were no poltical parties in constant rivalry for the power to govern the country..can a country juz be itself, rule itself?

god says - without a leader, the people perish.

i guess every human being needs some sort of leadership to look up to..tho some might haf resentments or their own opinions or views..but every body still needs a leader..bad leaders = horribly sad countries..

better go back to studying.

if u are bored, go check out winnie's blog.

no pictures

ah really..i cant post up pics now and i dunno why also..sighs blogger is really giving mi a lot of probs..waiting for my ipod to charge finish so i can get off the com and go study..haf to study overnight tonight in order to finish studying everything by sat..really tired tho but took a half hr nap juz now..

that was the shortest nap i had ever taken in my life.

went studying at queenstown library with adel today..quite productive..well, considering that i really cant study at home..i concentrated much better there! but theres no choice now..i really gotta study..passing grade for this module is so high..the lecturer muz be mad! grrrr really dun like this topic..

sandy im going US to study for a month :D really cant wait to go overseas!! muz be fun to go with jack in the box!

thanks dan for the prayer..that was really sweet :)

studying

exams on sat so its mugging time! and school starts from jan 23rd to feb 1..and den its 2 more months before i fly to US..time is going fast really really quickly..it seems not too long ago that i was in central chalet, or that i was practising for xmas drama..not too long ago when i was still at floorball ranting on how i hated to exercise..

u know, i tink god is really really faithful..i said that this year i wanted to grow in security in god..and oh boy, there are already loads of situations coming up that forces mi to grow in that..loads and loads of those situations in fact..sighs, maybe i shldnt haf made that prayer so soon haha..but oh well, jinqi shall never give up but persevere on!

im so excited abt daniel's vision to haf a central service by the end of 2007..at first i tot that it was impossible..i mean, central is at like 180 now..and to grow to 600 in a span of a year is simply, unrealistic..but i forgot something very important..im serving the god of miracles for goodness sake!! am feeling quite stupid now but oh well..and that day at clementi mac with sinyee, i was calculating the impact of 600 and i was like okay..this is somehow getting more exciting..and den i tot of mi speaking to 100 guys and that dream caught me..haha it really really did! and im going for it :D

ok shall watch one episode of the guess show, i absolutely love wu zhong xian..and going to tok to god..afterwards, mugging time..

god and myself

welcome jason into the family!

alright this shall not be a discouraging post! i tink god is really good..maybe all i need in the world is really god..ppl cant be there for u 24/7..i kinda understood wat that sentence meant to a deeper level today..ppl REALLY cant be there for u 24/7..much as one would like them to be..so the only dependable person is really, god..

sometimes there are a lot of things that u wan to tell someone, juz anyone, but no one seems to be there..maybe god is testing mi now..but, i really HATE IT..maybe, that is why some ppl backslide..cos sometimes they desperately wan to find someone, but no one seems to care, and no one seems to be there..well, no one is the key word..den one fine day, this person from outside pops up and seems to care more abt the rest..seems to be nicer than the rest, seems to realise ur existance, and ta-da..a person backslides cos of this relationship..

ppl are really lonely sometimes, all they wan is a listening ear..but no one is there..wat would ppl tink, if they know that god is there! god is waiting, always waiting..but because one cant see him, so they tink that no one cares..but god cares..

at the very least, i know that god cares for me..maybe, i dun need ppl at all..maybe, i dun need friends..

promises

all your promises wun let go of me

i surrendered my life to your ways
ive learnt wat it means to obey
jesus my heart has been changed by you

im walking the path you haf made
im seeking the truth everyday
and jesus my heart has been changed by you

i couldnt walk away if i tried
cos ur love, is better than life

now the sun shining bright and it juz wun set
cos ur love is alive and it lights my step
my heart is amazed everyday to the next
ur joy overtakes and i cant forget abt it

i absolutely love this song..first it has a super addictive tune and rhythm, sounds like a punk rock song from simple plan..and secondly, the lyrics are juz so nice! simple, direct and nice..i got it as my handphone alarm ringtone and trusts me, its so loud at the beginning that i wake up every single time..HAHA..

isnt every sentence in that song juz so true? especially like the part which goes, i couldnt walk away if i tried, cos ur love is better than life..its like god's love is so attractive that i cant help but juz bask in his company..and its so true isnt it?! his love is so good!! its better than life indeed..and my heart is definately amazed every day to the next..even thru struggles and desperate moments im still amazed at how he would come thru every single time..its hard to put a finger to how god actually comes thru..

u know sometimes u hear other christians saying that wow god came thru juz at that point in time to help mi in this and this..sometimes u wonder, how did god actually come thru and help? would i experience the same thing? haha i wonder abt that too..its really hard to point out specifically how god came thru..sometimes he comes thru in terms of my emotional side or thru my thoughts, tho the physical situation didnt change but my perspective has changed..sometimes god comes thru in the physical situation like providing money when u are broke..but the thing is, god will ALWAYS come thru and help..

maybe its a girl thing..cos girls are more emotional, hence we dun haf a very organized and structured strategy to everything..haha..

alrights babes..i need to go prepare teaching now and hopefully getting some work done later..i still wana do a post on the mismatch team so maybe i ll come back later..

the start

hahah i shall count this week as the start of the new year instead of the last..reason being that i didnt plan for the last week so kinda messed it up..so prissy shall start this week as the new year!! ahaha..

i planned my week yest so am doing preety well..but in the process of planning i realise i didnt plan that well..so im going to dig out some timetable stuff that tamar gave us previously and use it to plan my week..plus, exam's on nxt sat so i haf to really start doing my crappy ASEAN paper and start memorizing stuff nxt wk..yucks..

and also, ive decided to work hard for my feb 28th date..becos, i know that god can work some sort of miracle..and if its really in his plan, that the feb 28th day would definately come to pass somehow..lol..i realise this post is quite crap..and i shld be eating lunch before flying off to daixuan's place..THE WEATHER IS SUPER HOT..i tink im gonna take bus..

this is me

i tink im the most undeserved to be leader in hope..i dun deserve all these that god has given me..staying on in youth, serving god in high school ministry, having wonderful sheep, being in CENTRAL and in dmm, working together with wonderful ppl like yk and peeps..nah i dun tink i deserve any of those kinds..u know why..

cos im a super sinful person..i haf a sharp tongue which ive somewhat managed to control or i would haf slash out at a great deal of people already..ive this carnial nature to replay vicious acts that includes dunking heads into toilet bowls towards ppl that pisses mi off..i actually dun give a chicken feet to some ppl sometimes..i really would love to be with my frens den church ppl at times..i dun care if some ppl are going to hell cos i tink they are super irritating and i wouldnt wan them to be in heaven..occasionally i dread reading the bible cos some parts of it are so hard to understand! for example leviticus..and i would definately love bitching abt certain ppl without feeling guilty of it being a sin..oh gosh, i would most certainly rejoice at the thought of having no one else under my care and to live for myself..

so u see..im totally not holy at all..in fact, im juz a normal human being with all that normal thoughts that run thru most ppl's minds..i know im not high and mighty and i never try to act like one..so it is rather weird when ppl tell mi im holy and stuff and they make mi squirm cos i know how awfully horrible i am..

but oh well..i too cant deny the truth abt god..and i haf to say that its because of Him that ive somewhat grown to be a better person in this society and world..and i do know that he cured mi of a certain tendancy that was plaging mi before i met him..i haf to say that he really did save mi indeed :) and im really thankful for that cos i wouldnt know how my life would haf turned out if jesus hadnt come into my life..plus, i realise that im getting to know a lot of myself which i didnt know abt in the past! makes mi feel, alive..

sometimes irritating ppl irk me and i wonder how ever i can love them..den i rmb myself and how irritating i was and how other ppl would irk at the sight of me..and oh yes, i do know some really horrible things that i did in the past..and i rmb how god loved me..and trained and nurtured me..he believed in me, and hence, im here:D if god could make something out of a person like me, i would agree, that he can make something out of anyone..juz as long as the person's willing..and therefore, i believe in ppl..

got this from reading

got this verse while reading bible the other day in Acts 19:18

the evil spirit answered them, "Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?"

so at first i juz skimmed thru that part cos it didnt haf much significance anyway..but something made mi wan to go back to that verse..so i juz read it again..and suddenly this tot struck mi..i haf to share it cos its juz so interesting!

ok its alright for evil spirits to know jesus, after all he's their number 1 enemy..but tink abt it..those evil spirits know paul too!! those demons actually keep note of a human being..so i tot that paul muz be wrecking serious hell in hell..so serious that satan actually is somewhat threatened by him to notify all evil spirits of wat paul is doing..i can juz imagine satan banging on his office table and shouting to his minions "what are u all doing?! get mi paul's head immediately and i give no room for failure!!"..hence, that explains y paul gets so much hardships and persecutions in every city that he goes to..but he never gives up!!

wow.

so it got mi tinking..hmmm am i like paul? of course i dun tink i can be wei da as paul..but am i doing enuf to somewhat attract satan's attention? like does satan tink that ah jinqi ah..nah dun need to worry, she isnt going doing much anyway..dun waste effort on her..i dun wana be like that! den wats the point of being a warrior of god! when u are a warrior rite, u would wan ur enemy to at least take notice of ur name and be a little afraid..u wouldnt wan to be a wimp rite!..i told god i wanted to be like paul..not juz somewhat like him..but LIKE him..den god said..u sure? that means there will be a lot of persecution coming from satan..wouldnt be like stoning as in paul's time..prob more like hurtful words from love ones, false accusations, unacceptance etc..got a little hesitant after hearing that..but wat the hell! its one life juz live it for god man! after all, i ll get to enjoy eternity so wats this short life on earth..

hence, im anticipating more troubles, depressions, probs, brokeness etc..goes to show mi im doing considerable damage in hell..juz enuf to garner satan's attention..hahah im sure that would put a smile on god's face indeed :D

its the new year!

HAHA sorry haven been posting abt things happening in my life..i realised i miss out camp, central chalet, xmas and countdown..but oh well..im still alive and kicking rite! haha each event had its own ups and downs and maybe i ll post up the whole load of fotos later if i feel like it..haha..BUT for now, its the new year!! thanksgivings and resolutions..need to blog them up cos i might lose the paper that i wrote them down in and thats it..im so super forgetful..plus, my good frens can help mi keep my life in check..

was having a time of reflections juz now and i came up with some things to really thank god abt..during ulm daniel asked all of us to use a word to describe how 2006 has been for each of us..and for me, my word was discovery..i guess 2006 has been a year of discovery for me..discovered a lot abt myself, my weaknesses, strengths and wat i could actually do which i didnt know i could before..2006 also marks a year where a huge change happened to me..i got moved from the JC grp to the high school grp..and boy was that a huge surprise indeed..

the transfer itself was a surprise, but all the events that followed after that proved to be even bigger surprises..haha i never knew i could do things that im doing now, i never knew that i had such an assertive side..i didnt knew a lot of things abt myself before being here..i dunno whether i said it before..so i shall say it again..i tink god loves and favors mi a lot :D for my whole 3 yrs in the jc grp i enjoyed myself tremendously and loved that grp so much..everything went rather well and god was there to solve any problems i had to face..well, god decided to love mi even more and got mi out of my comfort zone..at first, everything was so different..i didnt know wat to do in many situations and i really had to depend on god thru almost every situation.

god really helped mi a lot..in terms of inner encouragements as i rant to him and also thru ppl..so this is another of my thanksgiving points..built many strong relationships last year and improve the bonds of frenships that were already there..such as with the team, my mismatch com, claire, my sheeps - xiang daixuan cheryl, and my current grp..

ok gosh, im so lazy to type out everything now..so im gonna do it in point form :D

thanksgiving
- god, for his love and favor
- family
- dmm team, daniel elise winnie angela dan llamma jiehui harry
- mismatch com, jasmine jac dewen junyao
- cab3, yk and the boys
- having grown in simple faith and knowing wat does simple faith actually meant
- my sheep, both old and new, xiang cheryl daixuan sinyee june
- my ex-sheep, xuanting
- my frens, claire sandy and the ex-jc peeps
- classmates, adel ayu wenjun emu lulu
- central AB

if i tink of more maybe i might make effort to edit this post and add them in

resolutions
- grow in security in god
- dun procrastinate
- never give up
- plan my week by sundays

alright thats all..im in a sudden mood for pictures..so i shall post some..



dan's bday celebration and the cake that sinyee and i decorated for his bday..



the ex central b grp during camp's mismatch picnic..



after cl retreat..



my whole family are gamblers..look at my little sister, being influenced already..



SB claire and me



when the mismatch team came over to my house for stayover..