Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Walking Dead

Pain so blinding.
Despair so alluring.
Sadness so suffocating.
Hope so eluding.
Darkness too welcoming.

A step laced with fear,
A foot covered in prayer.
There is no foothold,
No compulsion for that next hour.

The end seems near, and I'm stuck in it. I just want this to end.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Near the entrance..

I saw them two seconds before my eyes found him..and as usual, he
looks stunning (:

Thursday, May 03, 2012

When God gives visions about you

Oh unripe apple, you who look so fine while hanging on high.

swaying right in front of my eyes, gracing my fingertips, twinkling
with your glossy shine.

I could just reach out and grab you, so within my grasp are you.

but I know once I've taken a bite, you'll show me right. you with a
sweet facade hides a sour thine behind.

oh unripe apple, nestling in the tree's glorious hide. I'll wait a
little while more, and only grab you when the time proves right.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Have you wanted something so badly that you constantly think about it and plead with God to make it happen?

A vow made, I didn't keep my end of the bargain. I know I do not have any more rights to ask for more, but hoping beyond hope that He will forgive me and find delight in my desires, for it is hopefully, finally pure.

With a clearer mind, a new promise made. Help me Father, for You know I am weak, but You are strong.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Ever Changing

Watched Freud's Last Session yesterday and I was struck by the last
few sentences Lewis uttered.

My idea of him, of God, keeps changing. He breaks it again and again.
You thought you come to a conclusion, yet He breaks it again and
brings you somewhere else.

That's what I feel God. I thought I knew, but it seems like I didn't know.

When will I know You completely Lord? For I'm so tired and desperate.
Hide yourself no longer from me, surround me with your presence Lord.

Monday, April 02, 2012

Feeling good

Honestly, it feels good to be back in action. To feel like there's a plan about in my life, yet knowing that no matter how many plans I can make, I will ever be astonished when the big guy up there looks through my puny efforts to make something conceivable about my life, gives a patronising smile at me, and then unravel his perfectly awesome plan, no rather, next step, for me.

And my prayer remains the same to this day, I just want 2 things in life: that His presence be with me always, and that He will make my next step so clear so that dull-headed me may never miss it.

Laying bare all else, those are the only two things I need.


I wonder tonight, if death was really better than living. and is there
anything else after that?

why are human beings so scared of death? and it dawned upon me because
it's an unknown, no one yet has managed to give us a convincing
reality of the world that emerges after our eyes have finally given up
the splendor of all it has seen.

but Jesus spoke of life after death with such an alluring confidence,
a sure finality, like he knew what's going to happen. and it's that
thought that perhaps, just perhaps, he knew what lies ahead for us
after all, that pulls me through the most agonizing twilight hours.

another 3 hours before I have to rouse all my senses to cope with the
demands of daily life that comes with the obedience to live out our
mortality in some meager resemblance of a perceived humanity. better
get some sleep.

Thursday, March 15, 2012


Oh how fickle is the human soul.