this is me

i tink im the most undeserved to be leader in hope..i dun deserve all these that god has given me..staying on in youth, serving god in high school ministry, having wonderful sheep, being in CENTRAL and in dmm, working together with wonderful ppl like yk and peeps..nah i dun tink i deserve any of those kinds..u know why..

cos im a super sinful person..i haf a sharp tongue which ive somewhat managed to control or i would haf slash out at a great deal of people already..ive this carnial nature to replay vicious acts that includes dunking heads into toilet bowls towards ppl that pisses mi off..i actually dun give a chicken feet to some ppl sometimes..i really would love to be with my frens den church ppl at times..i dun care if some ppl are going to hell cos i tink they are super irritating and i wouldnt wan them to be in heaven..occasionally i dread reading the bible cos some parts of it are so hard to understand! for example leviticus..and i would definately love bitching abt certain ppl without feeling guilty of it being a sin..oh gosh, i would most certainly rejoice at the thought of having no one else under my care and to live for myself..

so u see..im totally not holy at all..in fact, im juz a normal human being with all that normal thoughts that run thru most ppl's minds..i know im not high and mighty and i never try to act like one..so it is rather weird when ppl tell mi im holy and stuff and they make mi squirm cos i know how awfully horrible i am..

but oh well..i too cant deny the truth abt god..and i haf to say that its because of Him that ive somewhat grown to be a better person in this society and world..and i do know that he cured mi of a certain tendancy that was plaging mi before i met him..i haf to say that he really did save mi indeed :) and im really thankful for that cos i wouldnt know how my life would haf turned out if jesus hadnt come into my life..plus, i realise that im getting to know a lot of myself which i didnt know abt in the past! makes mi feel, alive..

sometimes irritating ppl irk me and i wonder how ever i can love them..den i rmb myself and how irritating i was and how other ppl would irk at the sight of me..and oh yes, i do know some really horrible things that i did in the past..and i rmb how god loved me..and trained and nurtured me..he believed in me, and hence, im here:D if god could make something out of a person like me, i would agree, that he can make something out of anyone..juz as long as the person's willing..and therefore, i believe in ppl..