hello people.

today wasnt really a fruitful day.
had breakfast, went xbox, then home, and out again.
what a boring life. okay time to train for bring it on.
i'll show the world what i,ang jinqi, can do!
hope my act wont be labelled retarded in the camp opening video.

another random thought, i think my hair looks nice. actually darn nice. : ))))))) dont laugh, God will strike you down.

byebye.

negelct

neglection of blog in progress..

wat went wrong

and so, the day ended on a good note..and i finally found out wat had mi so restless for the past few days..and im glad i found out..

overslept today and i was so afraid that i couldnt take the style quiz and hence lose out on abt 2% of my grade..but god was good to mi..cos my mom woke up in time to drive mi and the lecturer went to the wrong classroom so the class only started at the time i walked in which was abt 925am..thank goodness!!..and so i took my quiz, and we learnt abt leads..

funny conversation of the day
lecturer: murali?
murali: the only casualty in this accident was a $2500 parking meter..

HAHAH..classmates would know wat i mean..

and den i met elise before svs to hang out at coffee bean..she's been busy with tests and we haven been toking much..so today we got together and catch up!!(: it was nice..and i realise that i like coffee bean's cappucino..pastor ben preached today..i learnt an impt thing..the kingdom is the only campaign of my life..not bec ppl told mi so..but bec i know so..

do u know so?

god asked mi in svs today..gurl, do u really believe that im standing right here nxt to you?..do u really believe that u are toking to mi?..and honestly, i hesitated..i was scared..did i really believe so?..if not, den y am i here for, y am i doing all that im doing..i thought back to my 4 years in hope, i pondered upon the blessings which i had so convieniently tot were coincidences, i rmb times where i rather trusted in lady luck den trust that god helped mi..i saw how i struggled to do things that were seemingly weird but yet makes sense..i saw how i had come thus far..and after awhile, with great conviction i said..yes lord,i do believe..and den, he embraced mi..and i cried..

wat else in the world do i need apart from him?..

i hanged out with xiang baby aft seed today..we toked abt a great many things..the grp, working partners, bitterness, exclusiveness, speaking out etc etc..she was wearing the zara shirt that i wanted to buy..it looked nice on her..and her sheep are so nice!!!..so sweet too!!..heh..

pls dun come to the jc grp to slack..firstly, u wouldnt be contributing..secondly, you would be giving mi a huge headache..thirdly, i cant bear to see ppl who juz wans to come and suck up all the love in the grp and juz leave like that..and lastly but MOST importantly, you would be missing out on the essence of god..and tts juz too bad..bec you would lose out, not mi..i was toking to claire the other day..and i realise that there would prob be more ppl coming over..god didnt put anyone here as a mistake..u haf a purpose, and its my job to see that u realise that purpose..but aft u realise it, wat u do with it..i seriously cant decide for u..

btw, the above isnt targeted at anyone at all..it was juz a random tot..

let mi say it once again..
central b - my privilege, my passion, my honour, my joy, my love, my life..i would give my life for each of u..and thats not a lie..

where things arent wat they seem

its only in the nights where everyone's in their own dreamworld and where im still awake, that i realise how silent and terribly alone i am..that even tho im engulfed with so much emotions that im heavily burdened, but yet at the same time, i cant get it all out..dunno wat it is, dunno how it is..dunno y its there..

human beings haf an inborn-tendency to hide..things that make us seem vulnerable, things that we are scared of, things that we know are wrong, things that make us seem different..we dun even know why we are hiding it for..we juz know that if other ppl finds out that means we are in deep shit..wat does deep shit mean anyway in a world that has proven that its final destination is destruction?..the facade of the world taught human beings how to put on a facade of themselves..there was this conversation tt i recently had with a fren tt goes like this..

fren: see, i knew u would be alright.
mi: how do u know?
fren: duh, since when is jinqi not alright?
mi: haha, yeah i guess so.

i asked jiemin one day, that wat is the one area in her life that she finds it the most diff to trust completely in god..i got my own answer..i find it hard to trust god in things that i know im good at and am given ample time to plan for..

its 425am and i haf school tml..how would i ever wake up?..do u know wats the worst mistake anyone can ever commit?..in my opinion, that would be to presume that one's life ends when one dies here on earth..and for that mistake, u can never make up for it..

keep it up gurl..u are faring well in this world..

past

neglection of blog in progress..means that i would haf MORE words to write..actually i aint supposed to be here cos i am having an eye problem..means i cant face the com for long..but who cares..thanks to classmates for accompanying mi to the polyclinic where i realise that i had cornear abrasion..yucks..

and i realise i forgot to mention that i went tanning with claire at sentosa the other day!!..not only did i get darker skin..but i managed to tok to my great fren!!!..as usual, we shared loads of stuff again..both useless as well as deep stuff..and we realise, that we are really quite similar..heh

that cd shop sells good stuff..ah no inspiration to blog..cya..

16/05/2006

16th may 2006..i shall record this down cos its the day where i made a BIG decision..a life-changing one..and so, its significant..

147

today was a tiring day..i slept at 3 and woke up at 630..bec i had to go to...WORK!!..work is not fun..its tiring and its stressful..but they need help..so being nice, i went to help..i did station master..so it wasnt that bad..at least i didnt haf 20 rowdy kids on my hands that pisses mi off till i wana strangle them..and my partner was so good..i didnt haf to do much..he gave them all the answers..

den i went home..bec stupid mi forgot to bring my fone..i seriously cannot understand how in this time and age can anyone still forget to bring their fone..forgetful blur mi..as usual..but i made a new fren..tho i cant rmb her name..crap stm sucks!!..wat was her name?..i seriously dun rmb..so anyways we went back together..and she is a nice gurl..i hope we meet up again soon..

after that i left to bukit merah..cos i brought jasmine they all to sign up for the job..i consistently told them how sucky it was and they shld tink over their decisions a hundred times over before they sign up for any trails..im positive, that they would soon regret their decision..but the company desperately needs help..and lena was being her usual bitchy self..den they had briefing..so i decided to leave..and to go key's hse while taking 147 so that i can do stuff on the bus..that was the worse decision of my life..

147 is SO NOT LONG WAT!!..only take 1 and a half hrs to reach hougang!!..i sit till i was so bored and restless..i did absolutely anything i could haf done on the bus..and it still didnt reach!!!!..wats the matter with it?!..isnt singapore small?!..like we can reach one place in AT MOST 1 hr by train?..dun take 147 from bukit merah to hougang..take 14 to town den take NEL..expensive but its WORTH IT!!..

by the time i reach there..we had to rush to town..and i couldnt see yoyo..sad..so i reach town at 645..and i had dinner with eelee..den we went to the da vinci seminar..and it was great..bec i was interested..and i learnt many things..and i realise..that human beings are really complicated creatures..cant u juz accept the truth as the truth and stop trying to complicate stuff?..it makes life so much easier rite?..

if u do tok to mi after ur game..i ll be seriously amazed..

and did anyone realise..that my whole entry today consist of a word that is the most frequently used word that everyone in the whole world uses in everyday language..guess guess!!!..its the word 'I'..yup..we are all self-centred creatures who care for ourselves..face it..but god says its the other way ard..so from now on..i ll try my HARDEST..that my most frequent word, shall be 'them'..

the cross and the switchblade

reading a book called the cross and the switchblade which xiang lent mi..it is really a good book..im amazed..this book has opened up my eyes to wat god can actually do in the world..thruout the whole book i had only one reaction..gosh u mean god can do that?!..seriously..i recommand it to everyone who wans to grow in faith..i rate it 10 stars!!!..go buy go buy..

this verse comes to mi..

therefore, i tell you, her many sins have been forgiven - for she loved much. but he who has been forgiven little loves little.
luke 7:47

very very true..aiya juz go read the book..serious..

parents

y do parents like to nag?..its not like i dun wana go home..actually sometimes i really dun wana go home..i mean, wats there to do at home?..even tho im home with my parents..but, we dun tok at all..we dun communicate..we juz, feel each other's presence..my parents juz wan my physical self to be at home..but, wats the point in that?..everytime im home, they arent..when im out, they are at home..so they complain..its not like i didnt try to make the effort rite?..

wats the point of juz being at home?..i know im not the perfect child..and sometimes i dun wana be the perfect child either..becos i tink that u two didnt do anything to deserve my respect..not saying that i did anything to deserve yours either..we live in the same house, but i dun feel close at all..its like, strangers living under the same roof..the only warm person i can find, is my brother..

when ppl look at us..they tink we got the perfect family..dad's working as some top notch thing..mom's like a working taitai..fortunate kids..nice home..ppl see us as that..one classic example of a loving singaporean family..but underneath that facade, who really knows wats happening?..

but i know at night, there were times when i long for family love..i know that u love mi..but i dun feel it..maybe that's the prob with asian parents..they dun show their love..and when i express mine, you regard mi as..weird..thanks ah..

i like going out..i like being with my church frens..they make up my family..god is my dad..key and eelee are like my..i dunno, surrogate parents or something..i got siblings like llamma and elise..i got haha i dunno..kids in a sense, like xiang and cheryl..we communicate..we tok..we share our lives..we express love so evidently..we arent ashamed to show love becos love is meant to be shown..how i wish, that sometimes..i dun haf to go home at all..i juz wan to stay with this family forever, and ever..

but i ll try..becos god said that i haf to honour my parents..and that when i honour them, i ll be blessed..i wan to bring the atmosphere of love in church back home..becos if its possible between strangers connected by god, its definately possible with biological family members rite?

anyways on a lighter note..here is the funny conversation of the day..

mi: we are like seperated by a river of ice..
xiang: wat?!..how can river be ice?..ice cant move..
mi: oh yeah hoh..isnt that like some oxymoron thing?
derrick: nooo...oxymoron not like that one..oxymoron is something like, geylang methodist..

HAHAHHA..

sad

blog..im very sad today..who can cheer mi up?

tagged

INSTRUCTIONS.
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment at their blogs.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is no need to do this AGAIN.
5. The most impt rule: have fun doing it.

xiang tagged mi..i wonder who started all this tagging thing..make mi haf to tink..oh well here goes..

ONE. Guy.. of course
TWO. Funny..if u can make mi laugh..that's half the hurdle past..
THREE. Must be cute..yes im superficial but who cares?
FOUR. Christian!!..lol i cant believe i forgot this cos i already haf the idea that i would marry some church brother..
FIVE. More spiritually matured..
SIX. Someone who would make decisions..believe mi, i cant lead myself..
SEVEN. Romantic..i adore that..
EIGHT. Have nice veins on their arms..weird i know..but i like to veins..i like to trace them all the way up someone's arm..haha..

done!!..the nxt eight are..

angela, mila, adeline, emu, puaylin, hannah, sinyee, joanne ang..

happy doing!!..

the ANG

blogger was screwed yesterday..updates abt mi..im currently reading purpose driven life, which dan lent mi and i tell u..its an amazing book..i juz wan to read everything all in one shot but that's not the purpose of the book..and seriously u guys shld do the encounter devotional guide thing..its really really good..and really divine i heard..its quite sad really, that somehow along the way of life, i gradually lost the habit of reading..i rmb i used to go to the libraray every week when i was younger, and devour any book that i can lay my hands on..

well anyways, alternate tuesdays and fridays haf officially been crowned the jinqi-and-sinyee day!!..on tuesdays we would go out to slack and eat, while fridays are the days where we would go do activities..its funny how we decided to go out together..i mean, we arent even in the same grp and stuff..but god always has funny plans..hahah..and i dun mind sinyee!!.she's funny and we get along real well..gelare on tuesdays!!..a must for mi..

i haf been getting fatter as the weeks pass by..not been swimming or doing sports..argh!!!..and i dun like to swim alone..i shld force myself to..

poem

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's perfect woman or man.

You look like who you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knits you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Maker's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart,
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed bu the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God.

by Russell Kelfer

tots

blog blog blog..ive been neglecting u haven i?..everyone's telling mi that i haven come here for 2 days and tts a long time..did u miss mi?..things change my dear blog..sometimes for the better, other times for the worse..things dun ever remain the same do they?..esp in this modern society..things change so fast, that u cant catch up with them at all..look at fashion..u can spend ur whole life trying to catch up with fashion..but u can nvr really catch it..so wat remains the same in this changing world?..god, my dear blog..only god..and in him i rely on..

u know blog, pastor jeff was preaching on sat..and he said this that really struck mi..i wrote it down, lemme go check..oh yeah i got it..the greatest problem that u will ever face in ur life, is relational issues..so true so true..so absolutely true..bec we are living in a world surronded with our own kind..we need to relate to one another..and we do step on each other's toes dun we?..yet for the good of others and ourselves, we haf to be tolerant of one another..relational issues are so so hard to handle..cos u nvr know how far u can go before u reach the limit..but, i still wana try..

a lil update blog..i got a small breakthru yest..*beams*..but its kinda a bittersweet breakthru..something's thats good but yet its not something tt i wan at the same time..weird weird mi..sometimes i tink im too weird for my own good..i like wat david told mi yest..since u know its wrong, den dun do lor..god says its wrong, den dun do it..so simple..i like that..really simple..correct do, wrong dun do..i got it..dun do lor..

i like you.

llamma is telling mi how funny i am..everyone says im funny..but they dun tell mi why..everyone's telling mi that im blur..i tink im a bit..but not to such a great extent..u know juz now during dota, there was so much activity going on behind mi but i didnt see it?..i was happily doing my own thing and den i turn ard and got a big shock..everyone was killing everyone and i was doing my own stuff..im funny and im blur..or is it cos im blur tts y im funny?..i really dunno..but one thing i do know..i like myself like that..cos its mi..

u know something blog..god is really good..no not good, simply fantabulous..words cant describe seriously..its something u haf to experience for urself..its like i keep telling u that the cafe cartel oreo cheesecake simple rocks my socks but u wun know juz how great it is till u try it for urself rite..and once u tried, u are hooked..like mi :)..i simply cant wait for camp..tinking of it makes my hair stand with excitement..

i cant wait for the dmw's journal when its mine turn..i tink its a nice way of knowing wats going on in other ppl's life..ppl whom are close to you..and the journal is really really nice..jordi lambarda is a good brand..wat shall i write in it?..the journey with god is an exciting one..

i juz heard from key that ruisi has a shep le!!..hello my dear gurl!!..we need to catch up soon..miss you loads..

didnt go to kai's housewarming on sat..really sry abt it kai..

cg on friday..exciting..

the void

wat is the definition of a void?..dictionary.com says its containing no matter; empty..completely deviod of anything..claire says its like particular area feeling emptiness lor..den i dun tink that's the word to describe mi now..

haf u ever been trapped in a circle?..tried finding ur way out by following the walls but sooner or later u realise that u are back in the exact same spot where u started off before..and no matter how much u try to find the exit and push urself to the bone, yet u still always come back to the same spot..and den all u can do, is sit down, and cry..becos nothing else matters except getting out..and i wana get out..

haf u ever known that u are doing something wrong..and u try hard not to do it anymore..but the feeling of doing something wrong is so, nice..it makes u happy..and u dun really care abt the consequences as long as u haf that moment of happiness in ur life..at that moment u are happy and everything is so wonderful and that's all that matters..but after that..everything goes terribly wrong..and u haf to pay for ur actions..and sometimes the payment takes so long..but when the same thing comes up again..u are still willing to do it..

haf u ever stopped urself from doing something u liked..and its like cutting off a piece of ur flesh..but u know that its good for you..yet u are so so much in pain..but u know that in all that pain, somehow somewhere u can find security..that the pain is a process of learning..of healing..its like when u extract ur wisdom tooth..y do u do it?..even tho if it doesnt hurt so much but u know that if u dun take it out, it will start to hurt ur gums really badly..and so u go for surgery..and after tt it hurts even more and u cant eat solid food for abt 2 weeks, waiting for it to heal..and den after it heals..everything's fine..but the process of healing, is terrible..

i want to be a void..nothing is definately better than something now..

irritating memories

oh i forgot to mention that i went home with weisong again yest and it was once again..fricking hilarious..i laughed so much that my stomach felt like it went thru i dunno..thai massage?!..he was telling mi abt his mrt experience which was SUPER GROSS!!..den made mi laugh till i almost sat on the floor in that crowded mrt!!..and there were 4 gurls beside mi looking at mi like im some weirdo..heard them saying..wow she sure is laughing a lot..maybe we shld join in with her..but i dun care manz..weisong is so funny!!..seriously..i tink he's the guy that came the closest to beating my brother's record..as i said before no one can beat my brother in making mi laugh like mad..weisong comes in a REALLY close second..

anyways to continue..i was finding so much on the different types of tea on the internet and it is proving to be fruitless!!!!..argh..managed to find 6 kinds and im happy already..dun care le..makes mi feel like drinking chinese tea now..every website only tells mi the 4 diff kinds of tea - black, green, white and oolong..but they dun tell mi how it TASTES LIKE!!..wats the point then?..hmpf..i sincerely pray cg is great later..

going kai's housewarming at ghim moh this sat..i wonder how his new place looks like..and i really wan to get my birks from lulu!!..so exciting..emu is psychoing mi to make new specs now and im letting myself get psychoed cos her new specs are damn nice..shld i shld i?..but i dun look good in specs i tink..and im wondering how to go tanning tml when its been virtually raining every single day..and dear, we haven been swimming and i feel fat..argh..i know wenjun haf been undergoing self-inflicted horrendous training since duno when and he's prob more fit now since his goal is to swim 60 laps non-stop..madness..and i simple do not haf the discipline to go swimming on my own..hurry end soon so we can go!!!!..maybe we shld go 3 times nxt wk..

did i mention that im thankful for my class?..im sure i did..becos i really am..

on a sidenote..i haf to find costumes for the drama by tml..and there's camp opening drama too..drama drama drama..i really like drama..but come to tink of it..i dun tink i ll ever be young in the dramas..haha..

i dunno if u come here..i knew u did once but it doesnt make any difference now does it?..what u did yest really surprised mi a lot..and the funny thing was..i did the exact same thing to you the day before..but we found different ways to do the same thing..maybe it didnt mean anything to you..maybe it did..i wouldnt know would i?..and i do wan to know..yet i tink that it would be better if i didnt know..im safe now..but maybe not for long..we always end up at the same place..maybe u are right after all..

mission impossible

watched mission impossible 3 with xiang and weisong today cos we had free tickets to the premiere!!..all thanks to say mama who got the free tix from her credit card..so the whole cinema was filled with working ppl cos its all from the credit card thing..and we didnt redeem out FREE popcorn and EVIAN water!!..ok i juz realised that was very auntie..oh well, haf to get into my role..haha..

the show rocks seriously..it was so exciting and it kept mi at the edge of my seat..the technology was seriously advanced with wat microchips and sutff..and i heard that tom cruise did his own stunts!!..maggie q was hot!..oh yeah oh yeah!!!..there was this SUPER cute guy that was part of tom cruise's team..wahh..he is really really cute..xiang and i were gushing over him..weisong said he heard us..hahah..

can u believe that we had spiritual conversations while watching the movie?..like we were able to link many spiritual principals from the movie..lol..

getting a bit panicky for cg tml..i tink i shld go sleep, and wake up early to finalise stuff..nitez!

random tots

im lazy to blog..but i said i would..so i should..

randomness strikes mi really hard now..a lot a lot of random tots..so my blog's gonna be wordy again!!..words words words..this ll make all of u guys haf a headache..and seriously..im having trouble reading my own blog..my degree is getting from bad to worse..i wonder wats happening to my eyes..

so lets tok abt wat happened today first..i slept for 15 and a half hrs..den i woke up and llamma called mi to discuss cg..and den i slacked ard till 3 plus..i had an interesting sms from key..which i did..and it was fruitful..and den i went out to pass winnie the taekwando uniform for her cca thing..after tt winnie and sandy was so nice to accompany mi to holland v to eat gelare waffle cos its TUESDAY!!..im a happy gurl..we had cookie dough ice-cream..yum yum..gelare was so nice that it made us all dun wan to leave..but we had to cos we were HUNGRY..so we went to eat yu pian mifen!!..with extra milk..it was fantastic!!..im a happier gurl..talked abt hq and i miss hq a lot a lot..meetings, games, tears, joy, laughter, beetles etc..we decided to go shopping for a notebook..but it was an UTTERLY USELESS SHOPPING CENTRE that seriously had nothing..all we gained from walking ard aimlessly was a great time together..which when u tink of it..its better than any notebooks in the world..

so i was juz wondering..are u ok?..cos u didnt do the usual things that u normally do..u arent where u normally are..

i juz had a conversation with my dearest claire..good frens say things that they know the other wun like cos they know that they haf a foundation that would not be shaken by harsh words..and im glad we haf that foundation!!..thanks for ur entry dedicated to mi!!..i appreciate u a lot a lot!!..like a lot a lot..hahah..my vocab is seriously limited..after ur exams..lets go hang out again..

come to tink of it..i tink god really loves mi quite a lot..he gave mi a lot of things and ppl in my life..i shall list them cos im in the mood..hey i tink i listed them before..oh well..i dun care i shall list them again cos its MY blog..so there..

GOD gave mi a great shepherd, eelee..i love u shepherd!=)..and GOD gave mi good frens..like claire and elise..GOD gave mi a fantastic team..my dmm peeps u guys rocks..when im with u all, i haf absolutely no other care in the world..how i wished that time dragged on when we were in east hq..i wan to squeeze all the goodness out of every minute we spent there..GOD helped mi with my leading, he gave mi llamma cheung..its weird how we manage to work together..seriously weird..not that im complaining..GOD entrusted mi with his flock..my heart is with my sheep(s)..i cant imagine mi without u gurls..words cannot say how much the 6 of u mean to mi..GOD allowed mi to lead the central jc grp..a move that i never understood y and i tink i prob will never understand y..a privilege that i never deserved..

central b..my people, my life..my heart is connected to each and every one of yours..

was toking to sandy and i told her i wanted to blog something intellectual..dunno y..the mood calls for it i guess..recently ive heard many things which are flooding my mind rite now..its weird how god doesnt work in the system as how the world works..its like, god is purposely doing everything opposite of how the world is doing, and showing us human beings how stupid we actually are..

those who tink that they can take care of themselves are actually pplwho cant, and those who tink that they cant take care of themselves are actually ppl who can..

cos u see..by tinking that u cant take care of urself..u haf already taken care of that part..cos u would entrust ur life to someone else..most prob and shld be our shepherd..and u would be accountable..but ppl who tink they can take care of themselves..are quite in a dangerous zone arent they?..i mean..who can call himself perfect?..how can something imperfect take care of themselves?..u would even be blinded to ur weaknessess sometimes i guess..so moral of the story..ACCOUNT cos it would put ur shepherd's heart to rest!!!..tt coming from a shepherd herself..

every frenship has its fragility..

true or false?..i tink frenships will reach some points where it may be shaky..like when theres diff in opinion and stuff..but frenships based in god..i dun tink it will ever ever break..EVER..wat do u guys tink?

when u tink abt it..god's leaders dun really haf a good life..first of all..the most significant difference is that we arent expected to be served but to serve instead..i mean, wat kind of leader is that?..leaders are supposed to be served..to be apple-polished and bribed and stuff..but church leaders dun get that..sometimes i see how shirley and key work..and seriously i tink to myself..wah work so hard and sometimes the outcome hurts so much..zi de ma?..i hear my fellow leaders toking abt their grps and how to overcome probs..i see so much effort so much work..and furthermore, we cant do things that we like..well, not really cant do..but more, choose not to do in fear of stumbling others and setting a good example..sometimes somethings we limit ourselves on really really hurt..but i see the value and i do it..its not a nice feeling..we get crap from ppl sometimes..we haf to go down and look into the probs ourselves..y r we working ourselves to the bone?..is it worth it?..

yes it is.

it was, it is, and it will be..always will be worth it..im grateful for all god has given to mi..i dun deserve the numerous blessings and i honestly dunno y im given so many good things..its like u dunno y in the world u are alive..and y u are created as a human being and not some animal..

simple faith - to trust that god ll make everything alright in every situation, and to trust that he would give mi more than wat ive 'sacrificed' to him

y do i put 'sacrificed' in inverteds..cos how can i call all that i control myself on as a sacrifice?..it isnt from mi in the first place..lets give it a new name from now on..lets call it an investment..an investment in heaven..im happy to be a leader in church..and im especially happy that im a leader in hope..

someone once told mi that a talented person in a particular area haf the right to scold others if they are not working as well in that area..but i was tinking of it..and, that talent came from god rite..if god didnt bless u with that talent, den u wouldnt be talented at all..so when it boils down to the core of everything..we actually dun haf the right to scold anyone at all cos all our talents are not from ourselves in the first place..it all came from someone else..so he shld haf the right to scold them..not us..

sleep

i had a very fulfilling long weekend!!..

sat i had church..had lunch with jolyn before svs at cine..korean food yum and i saw eesiew doing housekeeping AGAIN..everytime i go there she's doing housekeeping..haha..still rmb when xiuping and her came to my hse and she was always the one to wash the dishes..miss those times a lot..and i missed a bit of the sermon..hmmm tink im going ard to find that sermon from ppl..thanks jolyn for helping mi to write some notes!!..

and i managed to spend some time with dear heemi at marks and spencers after svs..haven seen her in a week cos of my stupid paper and her busy life in poly so meeting her on sat was nice!!..talked abt many things abt church and life and im blessed =)..

after that we had our ex-central f outing at centrepoint's tcc..at first it was only mi derrick hanyang and xiang..and we were like aunties and uncles cos we dragged the time of ordering for damn long so that we could haf our sofa seats..hahah..the sofas seriously rock juz that its a bit too cold..ruisi joined us later and it was a nice time of catching up..had to leave earlier cos of my stupid curfew..oh well..thanks samuel for accompanaying mi home again..i like toking to samuel..makes mi tink quite a bit..

den on sunday we had our dmm retreat at east hq!!..yeah yeah yeah!!..i could stayover and tts the best part..the nights are always the best to bond ppl..which means im so looking forward to camp too!!..we had steamboat to celebrate winnie's and jiehui's bday..and many memories which arent meant to be said here but to be kept somewhere in my mind..cos its all these memories that remind mi of how wonderful god is and it keeps mi going strong in times of dryness..finally the whole dmm was there and we managed to take a nice picture of all of us..and seriously..im NEVER gonna eat jin zhen ku for a LONG LONG time..

i got fired a lot of times that day..and i cried a lot cos i felt so bad..angela im really really really sorry!!..like really sorry..i feel so guilty..argh..im an idiot seriously..and thanks to llamma cheung for comforting mi..i tink i scared you quite a bit..

had a bit of a tok with eelee and key..try again lor..oh yeah muz rmb to write out my feelings..hahah..and put it in front of the com..i really tink im a crybaby..tts not good..

after dmm retreat i had drama rehearsal at northeast hq..didnt know i was super tired till i fell asleep while the others were rehearsing their lines..sorry wynnie..but it was quite fruitful cos my co-stars were all that and we managed to get some things done!!..

all in all..it was a great weekend..the only regretful thing was that i didnt manage to spend a lot of time with my family..so today i tink i ll do that..

pictures of the dmw outing..