damn cute

This thing is darn bloody cute!! gosh, im so in love with the baby..the baby is so so so cute!!

Sony T20

im going to get this tml from Sitex!!!

dang

i wonder what would happen if one day i finally said it.
my world is fucking dying. help me.
i wonder if there would be any impact at all. i wonder who will care.

argh!

It is winter in other countries.

IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE COOLER!

what the hell is wrong with singapore's weather???

that little girl

haven been able to wake up earlier recently and was grousing over my absolute lack of discipline..was late for work, make up didnt get on properly and i just felt kinda, bad..the bus took a damn long time to arrive, i was regretting not wearing my heels, my pants were totally not flattering and i was basically grouchy..

the bus finally came, i boarded..before i reached my stop, i noticed this small girl of probably 2 years within her father's grip..the bus came to their stop first before it reached mine, so the father carried the gurl and started to walk towards the door..his back was facing me, but his daughter looked straight at me..and den, she waved goodbye, and smiled..

that was the cutest thing i ever did see today.

i could only marvel at the lord's creations as i continued my journey..

the day didnt seem that bad after all..the wonders a smile could bring :)

words

fat, ugly, stupid, useless, rejected, neglected, replaced, forgotton, history.

so who understands?




fairy tales never do come true.

wishlist

Things im going to buy when i get my next paycheck :) I've got it all budgeted in!

First and foremost, YSL Touche Eclart - a must for all women, strongly recommended by Victoria Beckham!

And im gonna get myself a dumbo plush toy! and shorts!

optimism

optimism brings you places.

new day

prissy has decided that she shall be named princess prissy from now on! so she shall not acknowledge anything lesser than being a princess.

because a princess gets to enjoy all the pleasures of life, yet she's not free from the rules of the kingdom. she's free, yet not free. but princess prissy loves the kingdom of god, so she's happy here.

in this kingdom, the princess has a wonderful palace - NG12D2. And she absolutely loves being ard her fellow princes and princesses.

and because, a princess deserves better :)

its a brand new day, a brand new life!

and so,

extremely weird. maybe it will stay that way forever. who knows?

shrugs.

not more than 2 sentences. maybe ive got to accept that cracks can never fade after all.

hurts much, friend.

slow

it is an extremely slow day today..boss went off for a retreat and theres no work once again..im tinking of taking the day off and go home for some much needed sleep before cg later..

i mean, im preety sure that i could do something more productive rite?

hey ppl, dun let ur dreams die down, and dun accept nothing except the best. we all live once, gosh man, i gotta find something more interesting.

now den i realize, money is nothing compared to happiness.

nothing.

alone

its the time of the day where my two collegues that sits within this space has left for their homes..so im relatively free to do whatever i like now..which means i can come here and blog..

after almost 3 months of working, i feel utterly slow and useless..like, come on jinqi!! u can learn more! u can do this faster..why arent u as good as the rest of ur collegues? slow slow slow..i need to be faster, faster..

i wan to be even more effective..for the first time in my life, i tot of starting my own busines..

discipline

one thing that i sorely lack in my life is discipline..i never seem to be able to be disciplined enough for my liking..i figured if i were more disciplined, i could so achieve much more than i have, read up on so many more books, study even harder, do qt much longer and pray unceasingly..sighs, frustrates me :(

i wanted to go jogging today, but as i stepped into my room, i was overwhelmed by laziness and the lure of the computer sitting nonchantly on my desk..ok gurl, u said you wanted to go jogging! now go change and get ur fat ass down to the gym, i tot to myself..but it was so hard!! i was tinking, MAN who cares abt my body size or weight, jogging is just a way to commit suicide, enjoy life! woots!

den i tot again, come on man, if you can be disciplined in this which u hate so much, im preety sure that you will be more self-disciplined in things that you like rite..figuring out that makes sense, i reluctantly dragged myself to the gym and started my prolonged 30 mins of torture on that dreaded treadmill..

i have been running for 30 minutes on the treadmill these few weeks, and i figured out something..the first 10 mins are a piece of cake, it breezes thru..and i ll be tinking smugly to myself that my stamina has somewhat improved..the next 10 mins are the WORSE! its when ur body gets tired and the battle between the mind and the body takes place..

body: tired tired!! no more! rest time!
mind: come on! you can do it! burn those fats! do it do it!
body: give up.
mind: persevere.

after i pass thru those tiring 10 mins, the next 10 mins becomes much easier..cos thats when the body has given up, and im running on sheer willpower..the mind takes over, my legs are numb, my sides hurt, the sweat glands work overtime, but i never stop..somehow stopping makes it seem all lost, i just keep running and running..maybe i can even run more than ten minutes in future..i shld try that the next time..

its like our walk with god aint it? we trust too much in our physical body, like for me in the first 10 minutes, tinking im queen of the world and i wun ever get tired..our mountaintop period, where the world seems at peace, our grps are doing well, you are doing well with god too..

den our physical body starts to wear out..cos physical things arent lasting anyway, they always wear out somehow..so ard the 15 minute mark, the body is screaming for rest while the mind is hammering for continuation..so who wins? by sheer determination, i refuse to let my weakened body win..my mind must win..but in my spiritual walk with god, im not quite sure..but in future, the physical me cannot win, cos i must depend and trust in god!

den the last 10 mins is where things become easier..it doesnt get as easy as the first 10 minutes, but u know that u will never stop..u know that u can continue on..you know that ur body has gone past its limit but somehow you dun stop..you are getting ur strength from somewhere else..and this is where, i realize, that no matter how much i do, no matter how much i achieve, to continue running, i will just simply have to rely on something tt is not within me - and that is my beloved jesus christ :)

on a lighter note, ive decided to scrap the psp and get a digicam instead..IT fair coming up!! woots!! and IT PRO has agreed to go with me in exchange for me buying him a Godiva Choclixer..tsk tsk, scheming ah you IT PRO! haha..

listening to I'll never break your heart by the Backstreet Boys. Gosh, im such a romantic at heart :S

the path

pastor ben always did say, when you really get it, you get it..

when you really really get it that the bible is the WORD of god..from his very on mouth, all scripted down exactly as how he wants it, you get it..

im still working towards getting it, in the deepest manner which i never had before..i want to get it..desperately wana get it haha..

my heart died over the weekend..it is ur own fault..im moving on :)

i do love my cg so.

check up

i went for a follow-up on my left eye again today..waited super long to consult a doctor, and this was what happened.

the doctor good look at my eye..den he sat back in his chair and stare at me for the longest time ever..unable to tolerate the silence anymore, i finally opened my mouth and asked..

"so, is it very bad?"
"no no its not very bad."

den he stared somemore..

"we'll add one more eyedrop and see how in a week."

oookkk, so, what does that mean? lol..now i got 4 drops for my eyes.

grp

cg today was hilarious from beginning till end..it was a great time of hanging out with my grp..im really grateful that i am in this caregroup, where the ppl have really helped me to, move on..

thanx peeps, for listening to my rants and advising me as i move on to working life..

lemme show u why i love my grp..



hendra dancing to sexyback for a forfeit..hilarious!

why

will someone give me a happy pill?

i wonder, did jonathan ever felt like giving up on david?

princess prissy

And yes, i have been princess prissy over the last weekend! haha this proves it!

QUEEN of the week! lol, i just love balloons and flowers, tho they are quite redundant..but the bouquet they gave me was HUGE! it was like the size of a small baby..

many surprises this bday..was looking towards a peaceful bday, but my wonderful frens ard me tot otherwise..

here's a shoutout of THANKS to the many:

1) Priscilla and Tamar for organizing the surprise bday bash at Harry's on friday..going all the way to buy that humongous balloon and bouquet of flowers..thanks for all the effort in inviting my frens..and for wanting to get my picture printed on the cake..

2) Jasmine Loh for spending that afternoon having lunch with me and not saying anything abt the party later on

3) NO THANKS to Gerald for bluffing me in order to get my fren's number..but THANKS for contacting wenjun and giving me a huge surprise..and also for being the graphic designer for my narcisstict card..

4) Jackies - Marc and June, Ayu and Wenjun for coming and giving me a surprise

5) Yaohui and Iman for coming and giving me an even bigger surprise by ur mere presence

6) Matthew for coming, ur present and for asking my three boys down

7) Jiao Quankai Issac for appearing and that robot necklace..love ur presence :)

8) Amy Dingquan Joe and Keith for coming! Joe also for taking pictures!

9) Hendra and Edward for being there..and Hendra for treating me to a drink

10) Dewen - the representative of youth and Junyao - coming here instead of ur event cos its my 21st

11) Daniel Cheah, for taking special effort to come after ur project :)

12) Jiehui Angela Dan Elise for suddenly appearing at my house and whisking mi off on an adventure at yew tee station LOL..dan was being retarded as usual and directing me into pillars when my eyes were closed..thanks also for celebrating the very first minute of my bday with me and bringing me to supper at bt timah..im seriously touched by all ur sweetness :)))

13) Jem Jang and YY for appearing at yew tee mrt at the stroke of midnight and singing me the bday song..gosh i miss you guys!! haven seen the both of them since ages!! i was too stunned for words when i saw them..as usual, they made me play some retarded game with them, for jem's fulfillment lol..

14) Xueling and cg for their presents, flowers and well-wishes in service

15) Tracy for that extremely sweet bday message :)

16) Wynnie for logging online all the way in bkk to wish me happy birthday..and David for calling me from bkk too! extremely surprised..

17) Shiyan for staying up at night to sew that pear for me..im extremely appreciative of handmade gifts!

18) Jac for her well-wishes all the way from China

19) Keith for staying up till 2359 on the 3rd of nov and the intention to come all the way to yew tee..gosh, i miss you too!

20) Dad for that fantastic dinner at Long Beach

21) Moronic brother for that breath-takingly gorgeous handphone accessory

22) Aunt Lilian, Uncle Edwin and Aunt Cecila, Mom and Grandma for all that bday money..its more than my Ang Bao money put together manz!

23) Puay for that midnight call HAHA

24) Adel for being the VERY first person to wish me LOL

25) Eelee for your email from Chile

AND

Sinyee, Winnie, Nick, Afton, YK, Nuo Han, Maybeline! Fungmin, Hanyang, Daixuan, Jarvin, Eileen, Melvin, Xiang, Joanne ANG, Eesiew!, Jonathan aka SF2, Germs, Emu, Sandy, Xuanting, Michelle Ah Soh, Shuyi, Xinyi, Raph, Shuzhen, Derrick, Eugene, Clarence, Kehan, Cecil, Lean Choo and all whom i missed cos u wish mi on MSN, for ur messages and sms-es!

I know my bday celebration is still not over..and im looking forward to spending time with some ppl..

Thank you God, cos you showed me what i shld grow in for the coming year..and for loving me superabundantly :)

help

dear lord

help me forget. help me ignore. help me block my thoughts.

help me, please.

thank you.

state

when you are in a state of shock, ur mind becomes a blank.

tts how i came to be without many pictures of my surprise 21st bday party yest.

crap! how could i have forgotten to take pictures :(

wrong

so once again, i am proven wrong. crap.

gosh, i really needa grow.