over

my final exams are over..no more school work, no more exams in future..unless im taking my masters..which is somewhat unplanned yet..

out of sight, out of mind.

sometimes i refuse to believe in that saying..but its slowly coming true, huh?

freedom

i lost a game in cg today which saw mi not being able to go MSN or dota for tonight since exams are tml..gosh, im so sick of cramping all those information into my brain so as to regurgitate them all out on pieces of paper for my very last exams..i like to study, i love learning new stuff and i gotta admit that reading up on america's history, doing research on who's president of when keeps mi interested..but, its pointless when i haf to memorize things to see at least a B on my transcript so i can get a job..it sucks! the education system really does kill one's love for the subject..

i would rather be left alone, learning things on my own pace..and not juz to score in some exam.

on the other hand..i haf to say that the new grp's really growing on me..today's cg was hilarious! royston, u look unique LOL..im laughing my head off everytime im with my caregroup..and im having a blast of a time with them :D sometimes, my loyal side still hangs onto the times i had in youth, to my close frens still in central..but its increasingly difficult to find out wats happening in the youth side..and when i do find out some stuff abt ppl i really really care abt, my emotions get all wrecked and blast off into different spheres that might not be that helpful for me..i really cant do anything even if i know ur life's in a mess rite?

cos ive got my own life too.

lets juz trust god..and update mi when we meet up..

accompaniment

besides the extremely tempting chipsmore cookies that haf successfully lured mi into eating half of a big packet of its savoury cookies..ive also got my wonderful xjapan, not to mention my 2nd love hideto matsumoto on youtube thats accompanying mi as i struggle to complete the 2nd part of my assignment..and its 4pm now, so if dun start working on that soon, im preety much dead and can sleep at 3am tonight again..yikes!



this guy is CRAZY i tell you!! he smokes, drinks hard liquor, gets naked gurls dancing ard, smashes guitars and hand-bangs thruout the whole of his concerts..and yes he does haf a lot of concerts indeed! i absolutely adore him..hideto matsumoto! its cos of him that i found pink so endearing all of a sudden :)

and im not juz into his heart-pounding good looks, or his gravity-defying hair that somehow juz looks SO GOOD standing up the way it is, or how cute he is when he gives that oh-so-cheeky look that seems to translate to u - im watching u baby, or how his eyes sparkle whenever he's going to do something mischievious, or how he saunters ard on stage as tho that is his home and gets the crowd eating out of his hand..

but im also into how suave he looks when he plays that guitar..how mean his hands and fingers embrace those guitar strings and conforms them to form absolutely wonderful music..how he manages to get the crowd so high that i would give anything to go and listen to his concerts..and how he changed my view on visual rock and appreciate this kind of music..

his music makes mi happy.

他她

sometimes i tink that the chinese language is a beautiful language that is able to explain so much more in depth than wat the english language can never do..altho i really disliked having to learn mandarin cos its juz so hard! im quite thankful that i did pull thru all those years of chinese classes anyway..cos, they have helped me to express myself much more adequately at times where the english language fails to do so..



and this is one song, which i tink that is juz so much more beautiful in mandarin..yes my dear old frens its vivian hsu! hhaha..ok after 5 years of denial i have to admit that she's chio la..its juz that i didnt like how she was trying to seduce my vanness thats all lol..and in the video with her, is her ex boyfren sugizo from the now defunct japan band Luna Sea..i tot he was more handsome than that tho..but haf to admit that his features are REALLY manly..and who can resist a guy that looks so handsome while playing the guitar and violin blinfolded..gosh, reminds mi of Hide, cos he was one of Hide's best fren..explains the pink hair huh haha..

these are the lyrics..so romantic..im sure she wrote the song for him..and the things they used to do..if i could meet them again..i would tell them to stay together..but for now, its really none of my business..

他他深深爱着她
他他永远的吗?
他他送她玫瑰花和 guitar

她她也深爱着他
她她不变的吗?
她她收到的玫瑰花已枯萎了
oh ~枯萎了

他和她
爱很美浪漫就像玫瑰花
他和她
爱很难很小心也不一定留的住它
他和她
有时很可怕
静静地死去它不振扎
不说话

他他清清吻着她
他他弹着guitar
他他最爱模她的长头发

她她看着那个他
她 爱听他弹guitar
她 寂寞的小世界
被他溶化 慢慢溶化

她和他
爱的melody多到挤不下
她和他
人随时也可能没有明天不要害怕
她和他
让灵魂自由
看见爱与被爱在打架
算了吧!

他他
送她rose and guitar

really sweet rite..i wan my boyfren to play guitar and give mi roses next time! hahah..

no dota week

this week has officially been declared the NO DOTA week by our host..this is all because of the impending examinations that we are all not looking forward to that is scheduled on the 28th of july, which is this saturday..on the flip side, this exam's our very last exam that we are going to sit for in our whole 2 years course in MDIS mass communications..a bittersweet feeling, cos after that, its working life..im still trying to decide whether im looking forward to that switch or not..

jackies had been hanging out again last saturday where we went for facial together..oh did i mention that in the previous post..i tink i did..hahaha, ive decided wat present i wan for this year already :D so excited!!

met up with jasmine yest at bugis to chat..went to tcc and ate dark devotion coupled with wedges and chesse dip!! yummylicious! tcc is really too ex for some of the stuff that they put on their menu..oh well, maybe when im working, the prices wun seem that ridiculously expensive anymore..thats one thing im quite afraid of..when u haf more money, u dun really save more, but u do spend more..gosh, i hope that having a whole influx of cash when i embark on the way of the adults world do not get mi more materialistic in future..i still wan to manage my finances properly and become a good steward of god, not saying that im superbly good at that now lol..which reminds mi that i found this top at dorothy perkins that i really wana get! haha..

after talking to jasmine and doing relating the stupid stuff that we somehow always find ourselves accidentally doing..i headed down to KFC at ps for my district's sports event meeting..tho we have a lot of ppl in the commitee, but some miscommunication resulted in the turning up of only me clarence kehan and eugene..oh my gosh, those 3 guys are CRAP! even tho they always say that im lame, but they are worse la!! tinking of our meeting yest still invokes the laughter within mi that lingered on from yest..really crappy ok!! coming up with stupid names such as the The Curse of the Golden Sand!? like wat in the world is that please!! i laughed till my stomach hurt so badly and tears were pouring out of my eyes like no one's business..and some of the games kehan suggested, gosh, i tink we need a really huge medic team on standby cos injuries are going to be so common! lol..man, i really enjoyed yest..

btw..my two cute little terrapins, ok now they are so big that u cant really call them terrapins anymore, ginny and hermie are having a feast these few days! that is due to my sister's outing to a fish farm that saw her bringing home a bucket full of 60-70 longkau fishes!! and as we all know, those fish die really fast, only the strong ones do survive, but not for long either..so ive been constantly watching them to see if there are any dead ones in a span of a few hours..and before my maid, or grandma or sis throws them away..i ll grab them up and feed them to ginny and hermie! protein for my two tortises!! i honestly tink that they are growing bigger these few days..haf been feeding them with prawns, hotdogs, fish and bread on top of the usual tortise dry food..i love ginny and hermie!! they are so cute!!

ess is next sunday..gosh, i really really pray that he would come..haha..haf been listening to ravi zacharias sermons online, and that guy is one smart man!! he's enlightened mi on many stuff that ive missed while reading the bible..and showing mi principles from passages that i wouldnt haf been able to extract if i had read them by myself..next time in heaven, i will go up to him and tell him how much he has helped me..hahah god sure anoints ppl differently indeed..contentment is not found in achievements, relationships or careers, but found in knowing that god has a plan for u and all u need to do is to please him..

in a world of so much uncertainities, god is the only certain thing that i can cling onto..he is good at any time, and i know that when im listening to him and walking in his plan, my life would be the best life that i can lead in this lifetime..lord, im looking forward to watever u haf planned for me, provided u are with me every step of the way :)

abracadabra

hello! updates from me, ive been hanging out with ppl whom i love with for the past 4 days..cg on friday was hilarious, supper after that was even more hilarious with many secrets coming out..like how SOMEONE looks like a chihuahua, or some reproduction reasons HAHA..

im so tired.

went out with jackies today, well only me adel wenjun nuohan and lulu..we went to do facial at far east! and it was lulu's first facial attempt and he found it oh-so-relaxing indeed hahah..slacked ard a lot after that, basically juz shopping, looking for cosmetics, eating dinner and walking ard somemore..

alright. im really tired. im going to doze off. my brain's juz not functioning now.

transition

im transiting from one stage to another..

from "'hello XXX! its good to see u again today!"' every saturday to "'hello my name is jinqi, wats urs?"' every sunday.

from "YO! we are in the same commitee for this project! so fun!" to "erm, wats ur name again?" during meetings.

from "nah, i dun tink this will work becos of....." to "hmmm, actually i was tinking whether this could be better..." cos i dunno the ppl well.

from scoring thru my wardrobe finding suitable stuff to wear for sitting cross-legged on the floor of america room to breezing thru my wardrobe cos we sit on chairs now in america room.

from gracing the levels of plaza singapura almost 5 days out of seven in the past four years to not even once a week in the recent days.

from having caregroups in the dusty, mosquito-infested istana park to having caregroups in the clean, air-conditioned asia or oceania room.

from turning to the left to turning to the right as i come out of the lift that leads to nexus.

and honestly speaking, this experience has been far better than i expected :)

but somethings never change..like the feeling i get whenever i take that faithful lift to the fifth floor and step upon that oh-so-familiar carpet..or like how i would return the smiles of the ushers positioned at the doors..how i walk up the steps to our designated seats and see those increasingly familiar faces..and the feeling of being in worship never ever changes..faces might haf been different when i go for caregroups..but the laughter, fun and joy proves to be suspiciously familiar..converstation topics might have changed, but there has never really been much of an unease anyway..

so in conclusion, there is something that transcends ages, levels, days, time, feelings, emotions, frenships, relationships and thoughts..something that will connect the eight year old to the eighty year old..a topic so powerful that connects living souls to one another..a love so deeply embeded that the sands of time, or the endless rain can never diminish its presence, much less wash it away..

i have the treasure above all treasures. and my treasure is jesus christ. and i must boast abt him :)

demoralized

current mood: demoralized.

and yk didnt reply my msg abt tml :(

HMPF! y am i feeling like this!?!? cannot! i cannot let you defeat me! i will train until i defeat u!! u cannot change, but I CAN! i can change the way i tink! the way i feel and the way i act! im working within victory!! ARGH i will SUCCEED one day..wait and see..

invisible purple man..one day i will triumph over using you!

light

there is something terribly wrong with my computer..im quite convinced that some irritating terribly clingy demon lives in it..becos! somehow when i walk into my room, the computer shines with this irresistable glow that beckons mi to push that little 'on' button and into a world of the imaginery..

sitting down in my not-so-comfy chair in front of this black monitor, with my fingers gracing almost every key in that black keyboard is juz so, tranquail..it is like being sucked into a world where time is not a factor..time literally does not exist..and truckloads of information, drama serials, online games and the like are available at a small little use of the muscles on my right middle finger..

that clock right in front of my eyes hasnt been really successful in dislodging mi from my spot right here..and the rain outside only sets to confirm that theres no other place that is good enough den where i am right now..gosh, i really need to do something abt my assignment..

the next buy

alright..my new com would haf to be put on the hold first..cos if i ever do manage to raise the money in the shortest amt of time ever..im going to get a guitar first :D after that would be for my driving license..at the same time, i haf to pay for my spanish lesson..

hmmmmm..my new com, u ll haf to wait for quite some time den..

the 100th floor

it is a sms i read this morning that once again proved to me how god sees from the 100th floor while i see from the 10th floor..let mi explain this theory to those who haven heard of it before..

lets say u stay at the 10th floor..when u look out of ur window, all u can see is the view from the 10th floor and below..maybe u can see a few trees here and there..maybe u can see the next flat opposite you..or maybe u can see a bird flying past ur window too..so ur view is limited to that 10th story..however, god stays on the 100th 1000th floor..he looks down, and he sees WAY much than wat we can see..from that high up..god can even see if an accident is going to take place, or if a parade someway off is coming nearer to us! and the thing abt god is, watever he sees from that high up, he tells it to us..well, u see..1000th floor is realy a long way above the 10th floor..so the things that god says are gonna come might take days, weeks or even years to finally dawn upon us..and overtime, our faith may waver..but u still cant deny the fact that its approaching..u can juz doubt..

this morning, i look back on my life in youth..how god took me out from the jc grp to the high school grp..why i went thru that period of adapting, complaining and whining..the times where i had so many tears or quarrel..when i questioned god why oh why muz he put mi in a certain place..

but some of those questions are being answered right at this very moment..seriously, if god hadnt put mi in the high school grp..i would haf missed out on A LOT of things, a lot of frens, and a lot of special moments..these are things that i would never trade anything for..it seemed superbly unbearable at that time..but thank god i pulled thru it with his help..cos the rewards that im reaping now are sweeter than anything ive tasted before :)

so in the end, god is good once again.

since god is good..im sure that somehow, if sunlight didnt shine so often on that cactus, if god wills that the cactus to be alive..it would be alive supernaturally..overtime, i would tell whether that cactus is living in the will of god, or whether it is juz my fruitless attempt to make something work..waiting, always hurts tho..cos human beings dun like to give things up out of their control..

cactus

today wasnt the most perfect day that ive had in my 21 years of life on this planet..something happened before service that made mi almost wasted praise and worship session..i was telling myself, come on gurl, dun be stupid, u cant let that rob u of time with god! push it aside, wipe away ur tears, buck up, be strong!..and i managed to piece myself together for worship..nothing, NOTHING is worth robbing precious time with god..

tho i haf to admit i was a bit distracted thruout the service..but still caught some nuggests of truth from pastor ben's teaching..it struck mi when pastor ben said that us, human beings, come to god with nothing to offer except guilt..somehow i had that picture in mind where this magnificiant glowing king dressed in a velvet gown sits upon this golden sparkling throne looking down at some peasnt bowing before him, and this peasant brings nothing except lifting up this platter with the word GUILT on it..

and the most world-principle-defying thing is that this king smiles down at the peasant, picks up that platter, throws it away and walks down the throne to put his arm over that peasant's shoulder..god throws away our guilt, and embraces us as his children..all i haf to offer him, is guilt, and he still loves me..god is faithful and good indeed :D

application point learnt from today's sermon is that i wan to show loving kindness..i really muz take more effort in showing kindnes to the people ard me..it never occurs to mi to help others do things first! like it juz totally slipped my mind..hmmmmsss..irritate mi at times! so i wan to take more effort in serving others :D to go beyond serving frens..

i haf this analogy whilst i tot of this fren of mine..our frenship is like a cactus in the desert..im like the sunshine, and that fren's like the rain..i keep on shining, but the rain seldom comes..at first, the cactus still grows cos it can retain water..but after a long time, if the rain refuses to come, that cactus will dry up and die off eventually..no amount of sunlight would be able to save it then..the cactus only needs a small amount of rainwater to survive..once in a while, as it rains occasionally, that cactus can survive..but its dying now, the sunlight's shining too long on its own..when would the rain come? will it be on time? cos the sun's tired too..

losing

i absolutely DETEST losing!! i loathe it..i hate the feeling of losing to someone, esp ppl who tink they are high and mighty..or to ppl i know..I HATE IT..this is one of my weaknesses really..i dun wan to be like that :(

today's cg was really really fun..gerald wynnie veron and me got into the mood to do a little skit for sermon d..veron acted very VERY well as a shrub indeed :D its been ages since i did a script..and acting in front of ppl with ur frens, whom u are close to and have chemistry, is something that i wouldnt exchange anything for..so i really enjoyed myself with these 3 ppl..haha..

thank god for pulling my new idea for holy com thru..i was really afraid that it wouldnt work..prayed super hard abt it, was like GOD u muz help mi ok! u muz u muz! and god did! wouldnt say it was perfect, but i got a few feedback from some ppl..tinking of ways to improve it..realized i made a few mistakes, things could haf been better..but im thankful that god pulled me thru, again..

wynnie asked mi today if i ever had this feeling - where u felt that this fren was a special fren of urs, but somehow, that fren doesnt seem to reciprocate that specialness u feel towards him or her..yeah man, i can tink of someone in mind..i can tink of a few in fact..kinda sad huh..so, wat does one do in this situation? really, wat does one do? i dunno wat to do..do i console myself by telling myself im too sensitive? do i protect myself by not treating the person as special? do i juz pretend that i never tot abt it, and continue acting myself? or do i look for other frens? wat shld i do? god, wat shld i do?

hebe told mi on the train today, that my tinking was still very fresh and pure, untainted by the cruelty of the world..she tot it was good, cos when u go out to work, there are many things that will try to harm you..and u will tend to protect urself from all the hurts..and ur tinking will mature..seeing how some older ppl tink, i really dun wan to be like them..i still wan to maintain my current tot that all i need to do, is depend on god..i dun wan to turn cynical, or be too practical such that the supernatural cant work in my life..i wan to remain as i am now..my thoughts, all pure to god, untainted by the world..lord, please help me maintain my tinking..i dun wan to turn cynical..

part 2 - san fran, LA

Part 2 of my US photos..

SAN FRANCISO!

it wasnt a very pleasant trip due to one thing - our accomodation, which was green tortoise hostel..ok la, i guess for a hostel one would find it alright, according to lulu..but if u wan a good holiday, PLEASE, find a hotel..really, the accomodation makes up a huge part of whether u enjoy ur holiday totally a not..we liked going out, but the thought of going back to that place juz makes us all very, sian..pics will tell u of our dire circumstances..


btw, it was located in the middle of san fran's version of geylang..there were shops selling porn stuff right across the street, and u hear bottles smashing at night, ppl arguing, the police siren as the police whisked by on their duty..wenjun's cousin lived ard in this area once, and she said she ever heard a gunshot..whoa, scary..

our room is very very small..imagine the size of ur room, and u squeeze 6 double decker beds, a sink, a heater (the size of an aircon) and a clothes hanger inside..

we actually had to fix our own meals in the kitchen..and when u are done, u are supposed to wash ur own dishes..hmmmm, doesnt sound like my sort of HOLIday..

First stop - City Tour, courtesy of wenjun's cousin..

went to pier 39..which was where most of the tourist attractions were..

and there were these sealions along that pier! dunno wat they are doing there..they juz stay there all day..lazing ard, fighting, being smelly, fishing, sleeping..they live there literally..

limos are a common sight in san fran..juz had to take a pic with one haha..

the bay bridge, which is one of the things u muz visit when u go san fran..the other is the golden gate bridge of course..but that was so far away and we didnt haf time to go there..so we satisfied ourselves with the bay bridge instead..

our tourguide :) thanks for bringing us ard!!

their version of a bus ticket..with this ticket, u pay abt 3 sing dollars, and u get to ride any buses or trams in san fran for 2 whole hrs! preety cool huh!!

san fran is VERY hilly!! there are a lot a lot of steep slopes that goes upwards like 45 degrees! no kidding..being on a budget, we didnt wan to take public transport, so we decided to walk..and boy, we really did walk a lot indeed..its like going trekking!!

steep huh..all these juz cos we wanted to visit..

its not that crooked really..i tink singapore's multi story carpacks can give this crookedest street in the world a run for its money..walking up all that steep hills juz to see this not-so-crooked-street wasnt really cool..but that view from the top made up for everything..

preety houses in san fran..

went to BOUDIN for dinner..and if u are planning to go to san fran, you MUZ go to boudin and eat there!! the clam chowder there absolutely rocks my socks off my balls, bounce them off the walls and onto the floor..superbly creamy with a generous portion of clams given..

and you MUZ try their fish and chips as well..their fries are NOTHING u haf ever eaten before, i bet! it is heavenly..i couldnt stop eating the fries..neither could the rest..and so many pieces of fish!! gosh, i wana eat it again!!

the legendary clam chowder..the bread bowl it comes in totally complements the creamy and smooth taste of the soup..a must try..

Second Stop - Alcatraz Prison

onboard the ferry that would bring us to the prison..a little background..alcatraz used to be a prison on this island off san fran..it was very isolated, and used to house the most notorious prisoners that USA knew off..however, due to high maintainance costs, and the horror of how a failed escape attempt that resulted in the deaths of 8 officers shocked the heavens out of san fran ppl and they decided to close it down..now, its a tourist attractions..it was freezing cold that day btw..FREEZING..

its really juz a tiny island..

ancient fire engine..cute huh..they didnt need air-con..the weather there is COLD..

the cells are really tiny..each held a bed, a toilet and this little shelf for the inmates to put their stuff on..nothing more..they sleep there, or stay there most of the time..

the prison actually served nice food! dunno wassup with those americans..but even for inmates, they still harp upon having nutrious and nice tasting food for them..doesnt sound like prison huh..i guess changi prison inmates here in singapore, who doesnt give a hoo-hoo abt u when u are a prisoner, doesnt haf it that good..

ok i muz talk abt the isolation cells..these are cells for inmates who misbehaves, so they get sent to isolation in the dark room, also known as the "Hole"..its is DARK in these cells..how do i know? cos they opened them and let us walk into it..when i walked in, i couldnt see my hand in front of me..u know how those prisoners pass their time in there? since they couldnt come out at all for like 5 to 7 days..they take a button, throw it in the air, get down on their knees and search the whole cell for that button..when they haf found it, they throw the button again, and repeat that process..preety sad huh..

Next Stop - Castrol

went to castrol on the advice of wenjun's cousin..who said we muz go there to check it out..its kinda like, gaytown..gays and lesbians freely express their sexual preferences there..u see 2 big burly guys holding hands walking down the street..hmmmmmmmm..hahah the guys were freaked out! cos they said that as they pass this coffeeshop, a grp of burly guys checked them out! LOL..that was hilarious really..the gurls werent really scared tho..

had thai food for dinner at castrol that day..yum! but small portions and quite expensive..with 18 percent GST :( and singaporeans still complain abt the 7 percent GST..after being to US, the jackies have come to an agreement that we are never going to complain abt the GST in singapore anymore..not unless it reaches 15 percent..

the rainbow represents GAYS..so if u see it above a store, or on a t-shirt a guy is wearing, u know he's gay..

packed our bags to leave for LA the next day..once again i haf to say this - We Have A Lot Of BAGS!

me being super happy leaving green tortoise!! cos i know that marriott residence inn awaits me at LA! loves marriott residence inn..if i ever go US on holiday again..i will only stay at marriott residence inn..and you shld do!! trust me, u wun regret it..

MARRIOTT!! HOW I MISSED YOU!!

Last Stop - LA City Tour

the familiar palm trees of LA county greeted us as we went on the tour..

a really funny sign that we saw..

above are the pictures for fisherman's village..its the largest man-made pier in the world and houses MANY boats..i forgot how many..all the rich and famous ppl, such as tom cruise, boats are located here..

headed down to Venice Beach next..this is where they film the series Pacific Blue..gosh i miss that show!!! too cold to do any swimming or watever..it was freezing..

rodeo drive, where the rich and famous do their shopping at..its pronounced as RO-DEH-O drive..long story, ask mi if u are interested..

versace is damn nice!

this is the hotel where they film the show Pretty Woman!

Beverly Hills, where the stars live at..but im sorry to say, all three of us fell asleep as the guide was taking us on this tour..so we didnt hear anything at all..lol..

The Walk Of Fame! yes the stars!!

this is the place where they hold the academy awards..

HOLLYWOOD!

and this is the place where they film the drama superman!! he will rush down from the office to go into that telephone booth and changed into his SUPERMAN outfit!! cool cool..we even saw a movie being filmed right in the middle of the road..they cordoned the whole road, which is a really LONG stretch of road btw, and did their filming..could see cars, cameras and ppl walking ard..wow, the ppl in LA are long used to such sights, but not us!

Next part would be on Oklahoma City..the place where i stayed for 3 weeks..in lovely marriott residence inn of course :D