losing

i absolutely DETEST losing!! i loathe it..i hate the feeling of losing to someone, esp ppl who tink they are high and mighty..or to ppl i know..I HATE IT..this is one of my weaknesses really..i dun wan to be like that :(

today's cg was really really fun..gerald wynnie veron and me got into the mood to do a little skit for sermon d..veron acted very VERY well as a shrub indeed :D its been ages since i did a script..and acting in front of ppl with ur frens, whom u are close to and have chemistry, is something that i wouldnt exchange anything for..so i really enjoyed myself with these 3 ppl..haha..

thank god for pulling my new idea for holy com thru..i was really afraid that it wouldnt work..prayed super hard abt it, was like GOD u muz help mi ok! u muz u muz! and god did! wouldnt say it was perfect, but i got a few feedback from some ppl..tinking of ways to improve it..realized i made a few mistakes, things could haf been better..but im thankful that god pulled me thru, again..

wynnie asked mi today if i ever had this feeling - where u felt that this fren was a special fren of urs, but somehow, that fren doesnt seem to reciprocate that specialness u feel towards him or her..yeah man, i can tink of someone in mind..i can tink of a few in fact..kinda sad huh..so, wat does one do in this situation? really, wat does one do? i dunno wat to do..do i console myself by telling myself im too sensitive? do i protect myself by not treating the person as special? do i juz pretend that i never tot abt it, and continue acting myself? or do i look for other frens? wat shld i do? god, wat shld i do?

hebe told mi on the train today, that my tinking was still very fresh and pure, untainted by the cruelty of the world..she tot it was good, cos when u go out to work, there are many things that will try to harm you..and u will tend to protect urself from all the hurts..and ur tinking will mature..seeing how some older ppl tink, i really dun wan to be like them..i still wan to maintain my current tot that all i need to do, is depend on god..i dun wan to turn cynical, or be too practical such that the supernatural cant work in my life..i wan to remain as i am now..my thoughts, all pure to god, untainted by the world..lord, please help me maintain my tinking..i dun wan to turn cynical..