dec 2005

dec 2005 passed very quickly for mi..chuch camp on the first week..drama rehearsals all the way till christmas..sub-d outings..graduation projects due..family chalet..unit outings..so many things to do in juz 31 days..

things i managed to accomplish in these 31 days,
1) get closer to god
2) haf a new vision in my spiritual walk
3) get closer to my sheep(s)
4) get closer to unit
5) get closer to sub-d
6) shared more stuff with shepherds
7) finish my graduation project
8) get closer to family
9) know ppl from other districts
10) toked more to SBs

god is really really really faithful..i gave him my best and he blessed mi abundantly..i got A for my results again!!..praise the lord..

im done with my gp

i tot i would never hear the word gp again after i step out of jc..but till now it still continues to haunt mi..juz 2 letters..but it means so much..GP, general paper, general practitioner and..graduation project!!..these 2 letters are seriously cursed i tell ya..

so anyways..im crapping now becos all my brain cells got fried while doing my graduation project for 2 days straight!!..applause to god for making it possible to write a total of 4500 words in 2 days!!..and thank god for all the brothers and sisters in church..always encouraging mi when i feel like juz giving up and flunk my course cos i couldnt take it anymore!!..hmm i realised tt i wrote in my previous entry that i missed studying..

well, actually i DO miss studying!!..i really like to study..its juz all those stupid tests tt make studying so miserable..i dun mind learning new stuff at my own pace..esp if im interested in it!!..its quite pointless to make ppl study things that they dun like..for example, ppl like xinyi would love to study maths and tink that its so easy and fun (how can she tink of a thing like tt!?) and there are ppl like ben wai who likes history and stuff..so its pointless to force them to study wat the other likes..education system in singapore makes students study everything..sometimes too much might not be a good thing either..

so anyway..i dun really know wat im writing now..i juz know that i came up here to say that i ll be going chalet fron wed till fri so i cant go out with you guys..yup..tts abt it..cya!!

quite dumb

change of skin!!..pink is my favouritest colour..ok tt was damn bimbo..did sumthing stupid..i forgot to add back my counter while doing the template..lemme see whether i can get it back..

ive dedicated today and tml to doing my project..so dun call mi out..im gonna be a bookworm for the nxt 2 days..MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

agents of change

am toking to june now on msn..chatting abt how weird it was when central f juz joined central b and c..but now after camp and outings..we are so much closer now..hahahha..its combining ppl from 2 differents 'worlds' together and expecting them to be at peace with one another..and guess wat!!..god managed to work his wonder!!..now theres no more central 2..but theres only AOC..agents of change..and how i love tt grp..

juz came back from AOC outing at east coast park..we overnight there w/o a chalet so..we juz stayed at a shelther..and played games AT NIGHT in the DARK..told many ppl from other districts wat AOC would be doing and they were like..wah so happening one ah!!..ahahha..of course!!..we are from AOC!!..im proud of us..well really sorry to central b and c for us central f being late..once again..sighs this is a bad habit u know..its like inherited from when we were in central 1..dun worry..we are now REALLY trying out best not to be late anymore..we haf a strategy going on so..pray for us yeah..hahah..

this is prob the most unglam xmas i haf ever spent in my entire lifetime so far..lemme first describe the games to you..applause for the games com!!!!..yk ruisi hanyang and jeslyn..i tink this time they really did a fantastic job..the first game, which was ultimate frisbee, i didnt play cos we were late..the 2nd game was table soccer..u know those soccer games like the one in starhub?..got those handles one den u haf to use the wooden players to kick the ball into the goalpost?..yeah we played tt!!..so like there are 6 strings den the defenders, midfield and strikers were along the lines and we kicked a tennis ball to and fro..its seriously exciting la!!..mi derrick hongmun joel and cheryl were the defenders..its like u can really get heart attack from the excitement..hahah..3rd game was a peaceful wargame like the one we played at harry's house..ask mi and i ll describe to u verbally cos its too complicated to be typed out here..and the 4th game was candle wargame..which is like there are 2 teams and they each haf a base with strings tied to the trees..so the opposing team is supposed to use the candles to burn off the strings..and when the flame gets blown off den u die..its fun but tedious!!..too bad tt we played halfway den the wind got really strong so all the candles got blown out..

so we went back to out shelther and huddle there and prayed for the wind and the drizzling rain to stop..guess wat!!..the rain DIDNT stop but got heavier!!..so we were all quite wet and shivering with cold in tt shelter..so unglam rite!!..but as usual..god has his reasons for doing so..if u had seen us den..it would haf been a really heart-warming sight..all of us were huddled together so as to keep warm..and ppl were taking out their spare shirts and giving to those who were cold while they themselves were shivering..got to know many ppl better such as fellow ANG, june, sinyee, esther and peeps..as well as the guys like jarvin they all..god really has his reasons for doing all that he does..I LOVE GOD..grins..

drama performance was quite a success!!..a lot of ppl said that they almost cried or they did cried..xiangyu did a really really really great job..im so proud (and jealous!!..hahah kidding la!!)..of her..a big hand to everyone..its over!!..no more rehearsals and hence, back to my projectwork..yipee!!..quite looking forward to studying now..ok tts weird..i tink i need to go sleep..

my grp had a breakthru!!..i vividly saw the miracle of god working in the hearts of ppl this xmas..my grp had 3 converts!!..god u are faithful..lord u promised mi victory and i know that i ll haf it..but i know tt all this will happen at ur time..and so, lord tho i thirst to haf victory in my grasp..i will wait patiently..thanks everyone for the xmas cards!!..i appreciate each and every single card..im gonna pour thru them later on..i juz skimmed thru so far..2nd xmas spent in hope..it gets better every year..i wonder wat nxt yr would bring..

i got this card from this special person which made mi cry..i really love you gurl..i tink u saw mi holding ur card while toking to key..u know who u are..u haf a special place in my heart..

hmmmm..i shal go eat breakfast now..im hungry..

its exciting!!

today is an exciting day!!..so exciting!!..im bursting from all the excitement..

it started off with mi going to kbox with eileen..sang a lot of new songs and now, i haf a whole list of songs to dl..i love kbox!!..too bad lily and aoyue missed out rite?!..ahhaha..

nxt news..my dearest ruisi juz told mi that one of our street evax contacts is coming tml!!..an sji sec 3 guy..hallelujah!!..gosh!!..hahahah..adding to tt..3 hc, 2 rj and 3 bbss coming on sat!!..as well as another of nicole's fren tml..THIS IS MY HARVEST WEEK!!..i dun care!!..ahahah..

in addition..my mom says i can re-paint my room!!!..oh god!!..im so excited!!..wat theme shall i do my room as?..hmmm..shld i paint my room red?..pink?..green?..who wans to help mi settle my room?..CLAIRE YOU ARE IN!!..i dun care!!..ahhahah

also..im acting tml!!!..like how much more scary and exciting is that?!?!?!?!..its like..butterflies in my stomach!!..(reminds mi of crimson butterflies..ok tt was random)..ahhh..im so so so scared..

lastly..i haven written all my xmas cards yet!!..praise the lord!!..im so dead..central 2 ppl shall only get it on sat..ahahha..

see..wat an exciting day..

class rox

gosh look at the time!!..i haven started on my xmas cards and project which i was supposed to do tonight!!..man im such a procrastinator!!..ok i shall shift the blame..its all because of wenjun!!..he intro mi to this gaming website and ive been stuck there from like 12am till now!!..which is like..lets see..4 hrs!!..oh my god!!..i didnt realised it was tt long already!!..this is NOT good..

oh well..might as well post my entry..went street evax with dear ruisi today at lot 1..arrived there at 11am and left at ard 130pm..it was my FIRST street evax and i was excited!!..hahah ruisi was nervous cos its been a looonnnggg time since she's done it..all went quite ok and the ppl were not tt tao..thank god!!..managed to get a few contacts..the things we do for god..amazing yeah?..

met sooo many hoppies at lot one today..the west ppl were also there doing street evax..saw cindy's and david hoe's grp there..and we met this north brother, joesph, who stayed in hougang and came all the way to cck at 11am!!..he's mad i tell u..he didnt sleep the previous night and he went to changi airport at 530am to do qt..yes i know, my reaction was exactly the same as yours..WAH SIAO AH!!..oh well..he says that its quieter there so he can concentrate on his quiet time..

got mi tinking..theres hope ppl EVERYWHERE..u seriously cannot run away from us..hahah..i rmb ruisi telling mi her conversation with yk abt a good place to go dating without being found out..conclusion: nowhere, unless u go to each other's homes..and that gets boring after a while..so eventually u ll go out and den, u ll be seen..the whole world is my family!!..

had class gathering today at my house..supposed to haf a bbq but only 7 turned up..the usual ppl, so in the end, we ordered pizza instead..after tt we played stupid games like charades and concentration..den we moved to the playground and played blind mice..goodness that is a damn fun game manz!!..i love tt game to bits!!..we MUZ play it sometimes soon again!!..and please go to a bigger playground..my house's one is too small..gosh shall we play it at east coast this sat at AOC xmas outing?..had gift exchange and i got dear's present..its really really cute!!..thanks!!..enjoy ur duck feather pillow!!..HAHAHA..


Do not call conspiracy,
everything that this people call conspiracy;
do not fear what they fear,
and do not dread it.
The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy,
he is the one you are to fear,
he is the one you are to dread,
and he will be a sanctuary;
but for both houses of Israel he will he
a stone that causes men to stumble
and a rock that makes them fall.

__Isaiah 8: 12-14__

read this during qt..made mi tink abt more abt who i am on this face of the world..how much clearer can god emphasize that we are not of the world and we do not follow the 'customs' of it..y should i fear failure?..y should i worry abt my life?..all i need to do if to focus my eyes on god..fear him and that's all that matters, aint it?..god is so small that he can catch my teardrops, yet he is so big that he can protect mi from all adversaries..he is my source of comfort and strength..i will rmb that all that im doing now, i do it for him..

gosh the more i learn, the more i see that i dun know much..it is true that one cant never stop learning..one year of humility has passed..60 more years to go..are you in this with mi?

p.s claire!!..i tink we are really random ppl!!..i love toking to you on msn..hahah..

we all make mistakes

when u wana give up and ur heart's abt to break,
rmb that u are perfect,
god makes no mistakes.

song lyrics from bon jovi's song titled 'welcome to wherever you are'..sounds nice rite..but i gave it some tot..is it really true?..yes its true that god makes no mistakes..but it isnt true that im perfect..because when i haf seen god's glory, i know that im FAR from perfect..human beings cant be perfect..we can only be perfectionists where we try to be perfect..

so its true..i make many mistakes in my life..mistakes juz pile up and up and up..now here comes the choice..to dwell in self-pity or to pick urself up and move on?..yes its embarrassing but so wat?..commit suicide?..let mistakes drag u down?..if u do tt, u are dumb..

everyone deserves a 2nd chance..i know wat its like to plead for a 2nd chance..so dun tell mi tt i dun..i haf been there and done tt..and i learnt something very impt..that when u are in that situation, u cannot expect things to go ur way..altho u yearn for things to improve at a supernatural speed, u gotta be realistic and know that the world doesnt revolve ard u..i took a long time for ppl to accept that i haf truly repented and for them to trust mi..i desperately wan to give the 2nd chance..trust mi..because loving ppl is the most meaningful thing ever..

i really wan a digi cam now..like seriously desiring for it..I WAN A DIGI CAM!!..human beings wants can never be satisfied..

i shld be doing my project..

sentosa

went for AOC outing at sentosa today..got tanner but not really sunburnt yet..the most burnt award goes to leon..his face is seriously red..

i tink the wargames was fun!!..tho they said tt it unleashed my 'violent' side..oh well..i didnt know tt i did half of the things tt they said i did anyway..so i dunno whether its true..but seriously..i tink the captain's ball game with papaya is SICK..ok it was a great modification to the game but but but...YUCK!!..i really dun like it..

super tired, bruised and battered now..juz wana go to my bed and sleep..yawns..i tink i shall do juz tt..

its revived!!

ok im not really hurt abt tt comment la..i knew the person who said it didnt meant it in a way to smash my ego or sumthing..its juz the way the person toks..but tks to all the comments!!..i feel loved now!!..gosh am i emotional..

well well well..so many things to say..where shall i start?..aiming to sleep at 12 so..guess i gotta make it snappy..

lets start with the church camp shall we..ESPRIT DE CORPS : Building the Dream Team..well who agrees with mi that at first..u found that this camp wasnt really ministering..hands up ppl..as u can see..we are ALL wrong!!..this is like one of the camps tt made mi realised a whole lot of things and propelled my spiritual life way up high..

camp objectives
1) haf a breakthru in my walk with god
2) learn to forgive and let go
3) build up even closer relationships to ppl
4) to see the wonders of god working amongst the ppl

i met, well cant say tt..GOD met every single one of them!!..do i haf time to elaborate?..here goes

from the start of camp till now..i haf learnt 2 very very impt lessons..firstly..i learnt wat it meant to haf a willing spirit..i realised that i had let fear crippled mi in reaching my fullest potential..and fear is satan's very first weapon..bleah!!..satan sucks..and in crippling myself..i was actually capping god's power..my life was rather stagnant and i didnt know it!!..its scary but its ok now..i didnt want to be a UL cos i was scared that i was inadequate for this position..deep down i know that this was how i felt..yet due to my pride..i realised that i came up with some lousy excuse for not wanting to be a UL..hahah..its rather stupid..toked to key abt it..actually all the post doesnt really matter..wats the diff between a member, CL or UL?..nothing really changes except u start to care for more and more ppl apart from urself..but the thing is..are u willing to do even this?..like i might be more suitable for the role of a CL but am i willing to be a UL?..if u dun like to do sumthing but are u willing to do it?..u might not agree with some principals of god that u tink are quite, well, weird but are u willing to lay aside ur tinkings and listen to god?..

because god can help u and nurture u..but he cannot do it if u are unwilling

secondly, i had let many past experiences affect my mood and hence, my outlook on life..many ppl haf come and gone..many ppl haf disappointed mi..many ppl haf hurt mi and hardened my heart..and i was oblivious to the extent into which i was hurt..but in this camp, god showed it to mi..if im disappointed and hurt at them..how much more is GOD hurt and disappointed?..am i in the position to judge them?..and its juz plain stupid to harbour such tots cos in the end..they dun get affected by you..you get affected by urself..and tt is juz dumb..y emphasize on those relationships?..lets look to who i haf now..ppl whom are striving so hard alongside mi and who haven given up orran away yet..(ok there was a little bitterness still when i tot of the person)..hahha..the ratio is like 20 : 1..gosh..and i let the minority affect mi..lesson learnt..lets move on..

camp is a fantastic way to bond with ppl..cos u see..u really got not much choice if u are stuck with the same ppl for like 4 days..u haf to talk..and i tink tt the one thing god really blessed the whole human race is, is the ability to talk and understand language..i felt so much closer to my sheeps, ruisi cheryl xiangyu and choonyee..i felt so much closer to my dear frens, claire puay shuyi etc..i met so many new ppl from so many diff grps..i exercised in camp!!!!..hahahha..playing captain's ball is fun..i made a fool of myself in camp..and the drama was absolutely wondeful because!!..i managed to KILL DAN FENG!!!!..wahahhah..

i saw god's power moving and changing so many ppl's lives..how ppl were refreshed and the light within them was rekindled..ive seen how ppl really struggle so much against the world juz to grasp onto the edges of god's robes..and ive seen that im not the only one who goes thru temptations so great that it literally breaks us all down..i myself am renewed and refreshed..now here comes the challenge..to keep the fire burning even MORE brightly den now..

the church is like the world, yet different from the world

i look ard and i see ppl of all sorts..i see ppl who are so smart and talented that im juz well, awed and jealous!!..ahhahah..there are ppl who act cool and ppl who are bengs..ppl whom are so competitive that sometimes u juz wan to knock then unconscious over the head..gurls gathering to giggle and guys slacking ard in grps..isnt it like the world?..and den we all walk into tt hall..and we start worshipping our wonderful god..and everyone becomes the same..theres no more differences..unity, as one..because we are no longer tinking of ourselves..but our enegry is placed upon the almighty alone..god is absolutely amazing..

camp is great..memories are made and frenships start and bloom..pratas, captain's ball, kumbaya-ing, heart-felt thoughts, bday celebrations..heaven is gonna be so much greater..

learning doesnt juz end with camp..i learnt a very important lesson after camp too..something happened between 2 very good frens of mine..and another thing happened between 2 ppl whom are so close to my heart..and it boils down to one thing..that relationships are so hard to handle..i see the value now..and i know wat i muz do..if i wan others under mi to do the same..i haf to do it first..

u might not agree with the church's view but u follow it

this shld be adopted by all who wans to strive further to serve god..tink abt it..do u tink that the church wans to harm u?..do u tink tt some principals (such as the limiting of boy-girl relations) are meant to torture us?..tell mi of a time where ppl haf not followed and lived happily ever after..and i ll tell u of a hundred more times when ppl haf not followed and left broken..u can never win against the word of god..again it boils down to willingness am i not right?..are u willing to set aside ur differences and join in the marathon for god?..

in the end, christianity is all abt choices

we all make wrong choices sometimes..but learn to live with it..because if u let those mistakes dwell in you..den u ll be hindered..we are not perfect..so dun try to be..another impt lesson that i learnt..key says..its natural for leaders to be wise..and xiangyu says..dun keep belittling urself..learning learning learning..in the end..life is juz one great learning experience rite?..

xmas is coming..its inching its way nearer and nearer..ALL OUT FOR GOD!!!..im so excited..im acting for drama!!..everyone has to come and support mi!!

boring and useless?

someone juz told mi that my blog was boring and useless

IM HURT

stay tuned for tml's entry that ll blow you away.

sleep

ESPRIT DE CORP

are u excited?

fishy gishy

fish and co wants to make the whole earth fat..their portion size will only satisfy giants and make the rest of the population bloated..fat fat fat!!..went there today with dmm to celebrate daniel's bday..had the swordfish collar on dan feng's recommandation..its tooo much..but nice!!..ahhahah..

went for gp meeting today..i like mr san..a lot..he's a good teacher..a few ideas for project running thru my mind now..cant wait to get started..but too tired to start every night..wat an oxymoron..im into tt now..look at a few tt i haf made up!!..hurting too much to feel pain..too tired to sleep..cool rite?!..ok wen jun juz told mi its not oxymorons..hmmm..so wat are these called?..

i cant dance..im damn sad..tired for the whole week..is there a break?..