emotions part 2

only had one word to describe emotions svs..great with a capital G..was so happy to c tt my cg had visitors and 1 convert!!..oh gosh..my grp is growing!..god's promises r starting to come to pass..anyways..tks to all the ppl who had to gulp down my 12 cans of pepsi for mi..luv ya guys loads!!..

was toking to xinyi till late at night yesterday..bout 4 am?..tts crazy!!..aft the CLM yesterday..i was confused bout sum stuff and not convicted at all..sumtimes..its u know tt this is wat u shld do..budden..if u do wat u shld do..u feel a tinge of..unwillingness?..but still..its the best way cos its god's way..as shirley says..dun tink whether can or cannot..but tink wat is better and wat is best..sumtimes the best really really sucks..but when u choose god's way..god will make a way..rite now..i know i ll follow god's way..somehow or other..but this thing is in my nature..its like cutting off a piece of ur flesh..how do u get rid of sumthing tt belongs to you?..i dunno..

anyway..ppl told mi tt i looked like a golden monkey, korean actor zhang dong jian and an ah liam aft seeing my hair..good or bad?..hahaha..i still like my hair tho..

*do i give up you too?*

nerd

lots of things..

lemme see..how long haf i not blogged?..3 days..quite a lot..well..to update u guys a little..i have been working these 3 days!!..muhahahha..i finally found a job!!..and guess wat?!..flexible hrs man!!..i work from 9 am to 3 pm..still haf time for shepherding caregroup and shopping!..god blessed!!..and after 3 days..my total earnings are..96 bucks!!..not bad yeah!!..all tks to missy jane who intro mi to this job..tks!..

work's preety fun..hhe..get to learn loads of stuff like how to upload photos and develop them..and all the little functions of the photocopying machine..well..made a couple of reeeaally bad mistakes but the lady boss is such a sweetie!!..she didnt scold mi..and made frens too!!..and i get to work with missy jane..isnt all this nice?..

gonna dye hair on thurs..haf a few colours in mind..it ll be such a surprise!!..hahah..cant wait for sat where i get to show off my new hair!!..and its emotions part 2!!..so exciting!!..amanda and peeps ll be coming over too..i so cant wait!!..

had shepherding with shuyi today..learnt quite a few things..bout caregroup..which was really great..learning new suff every single day!!..as daniel says..life is sooo interesting..hahahaha..caregroup's tml..its gonna be split caregroup!!..the first CF4 caregroup!!..i haf such a mixture of feelings within mi..excitement, anticipation, nervousness, fear, anxiety etc!..oh god!!..hope tml ll be fine!!..alrite..let mi prop myself up..i can do this!!

*u seem to be a changed person..is anything wrong?*

tired

went for central f outing at east coast yesterday..tink i lost bout 5 kg playing captain's ball and cycling ard..my butt hurts so much today!!..but..i gained back all the weight after eating cha kuay tiao at night..oh well..sighs..i didnt get suntan..and i didnt lose weight..wat did i go to east coast for?..well..lemme tink..games were nice( of course, i planned them one)..and so was tree climbing..muhahahah..to sum it up in one word..GREAT!!..

today's mi best fren, eesiew's bday..tml is mi another best fren, jane's bday..so lemme dedicate this section to them k..HAPPY BIRTHDAY GURLS!!..enjoy being 19!!..i wana thank god for letting mi know u too!!..and also how u gurls always put up with my nonsense k!!..kes: all the best wid bushy!!..jane: all the best with all ur crushes!..hahah..love u both to the max!!

today the international delegates from hope alday?( some place in south australia) came to church..y call them international delegates anyway?..can some 1 explain?..anyways..at the last min..daniel asked mi to take care of them..i was like..wat?!..but in the end..everything turned out really well!!..and i made 4 new frens!!..stephanie michelle amanda and zoe!!..when i visit there nxt time i ll go look for them..haha..amanda's like 181 cm tall!?..madness!!..

im so tired!!..maybe cos of yesterday..shall go and slp now!!..tml still got work..bleh!!..

*how r u today?*

juz slacking at home now with nothing to do..later gonna meet bee fot shepherding..and to c doctor cos of her eye infection..y everybody got eye infection one?..

feeling kinda tired and moody today..dunno y..but cant wait for tml too..the outing at east coast..hoping so much tt it ll be fun!!..

love?

everywhere i look to now..the topic of love pops up right in my face..y now?..testing from god?..juz as i decided to not tink bout superficial love anymore..anyways..i realised that there r different types of love..some wonderful and some not..lets start off with love tts not wonderful..

in this materialistic world..the best form of love portrayed would be love from men..as in ur bf/gf..in church..i dun get to hear much of this love..hahah..everyone's too bz doing other stuff..and i m like so totally into church stuff tt im quite cut off from the outside world..good or bad?..but guess wat..after going thru a few blogs..i juz realised tt love is affecting many teenagers ard my age..so many breakups followed by endless declarations of love..some say i cant live without u followed by u r the worst person i ever met..irony?..so r they in love with the person?..or in love with the feeling of love?..r they enjoying love?..or slaves to love itself?..can one love more than one person?..can one's heart be diveded among many?..wats love to them?..where's the end-pt of love?..marraige?..seperation?..or sex?..how do they know wats true love?..did god tell them himself?..

some may argue..u haf to experience many before finding ur true one..but how do u know when every guy u meet feels like ur true love?..so wat do u do when u haf found ur true love?..after experiencing so much..how can one put full trust in love anymore?..when theres no trust in love, den wats the point of love?..someone once asked mi..wats the ultimate thing u would give up for ur true love..i replied..my family..hhaha..tt was mi in the past..stupid naive and looking for love..would i really give up my family now?..i dun tink so..

another kind of love..which i feel tt has been mostly misused..love tt leads to sex..love is being used as a facade..u love mi?..go to bed with mi..puhleeze!!..sounds cliche?..how many haf fallen for this lie?..how many haf stupidly given up their bodies to acheive their dream love..and how many haf regretted it?..i know ppl who haf taken all this as a routine..love=money+sex..wierd aint it..is this love?..or a BIG FAT LIE..

ppl all ard are searching for love..even my mom asks mi to go find a bf..wat for?..i ask her..she said..juz go play play lah..can u play with love and not get burnt?..can u master love without knowing tt u haf actually become a slave to it?..my brother asks mi..how do i find a gf?..i asked him..y do u wan a gf..he says..i want someone to love mi..sounds familiar?..how many ppl out there has this selfish thoughts in their minds?..den i replied..so how far would ur love bring u?..marraige?..he said:"y tink so far?..siao ah.."..den y go with someone when u know tt the end-pt would be seperation?..when the outcome of love would be sorrow and pain..dumb..

but let mi tell u of a love tt i put my total trust and faith in..love from god..u might tink im a nutcase..DEN GO READ ANOTHER BLOG U ASS!!..to those who's still reading..love from jesus nvr fails..it nvr ends..and it nvr ends in sorrow or pain..it doesnt lead to regret..it doesnt lead to sin..it doesnt lead to futile efforts..it doesnt lead to hopeless hopes..it leads to joy..plain and simple..when i put my faith in this love..i KNOW tt love ll come searching for mi..wait for god's best because it ll last..i dun wan to go thru tt silly cycle of searching, obtaining and den splitting..no thank you..i rather move straight towards joy..this way..i dun fill my mind with nonsenscial notions abt love..this way..i can put my trust in love..because this love is pure..pure and holy..and i know..the outcome wouldnt be pain and sorrow..

1 Cor 13
If i speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but haf not love, i am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If i haf the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and knowledge, and if i haf a faith tt can move mountains, but not love, i am nothing.
If i give all i possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but haf not love, i gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledege, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When i was a child, i toked like a child, i reasoned like a child.
When i became a man, i put childish ways behind mi.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.
Now i know in part; then i shall know fully, even as im fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.

Do u dare put ur faith and trust in love?..this pure and holy love..

blur!!

i found a job!!..no..shld say..the job found mi!!..hahahah..wat xinyi say is true..the job ll come to find u..muz be all god's doing..

i finally found someone who is more blur than mi( ok maybe the same as mi)..albert!!..cant believe tt he didnt know tt i graduated!?!?..and btw..he's kinda deaf too cos he cant hear mi when i shouted his name right behind him in orchard..everybody else turned except him..so pai seh!!..ahahha..and he's malaysian!!..i tot he was from some ang moh country..ahhah..

oh well..did sumthing..erm..bad?..today..feeling quite guilty..shld i confess?

sunday

ok i haven blogged since fri..so lemme give u guys a little update k..

saturday mi and janey went to SAJC to support xiang in her soccer trial..woke up at like 8am?..i haven woke up so early for a very long time!!..anyways..we were kinda late when we met up at jurong east bus interchange..so we decided to take a cab down..and according to missy jane..who's a soccer expert btw..both xiang and cheryl were qute good and haf a good chance of getting into the team..cool!!..hahha..after their training we took a bus down to orchard juz in time for prayer meet..we invented a new game on the bus!!..its called the bala game..hahahha..super funny..

church was great!!..the songs were nice and renee could make it!!..hahah..during praise and worship, mi and nicole were like dancing down there..its so funny!!..hahah..god answered my questions abt my whole messed up life..my family, job and stuff..isnt he great!?..hahha..i know now to wait..i mean..cant be god dun wan to give mi wat..he wun want to make things hard for mi rite..he has the perfect job for mi..the perfect solution..so all i gotta do is wait..but waiting is hard!!..crap..went to the robinsons warehouse sale at expo after tt..the clothes suck..dun go there and buy..

on sunday..i went to work..at this photocopy shop tt jane intro mi to..quite ok lah..the lady boss was nice and everything was ok..juz tt i had to stand like the whole time and my legs were numb like crazy..so yeah..but made a few mistakes and everything..but..i'll learn..yeah..earned 40 bucks tt day..cool!!..CBF!!..haha..when i went home..my parents were like..tough a not?..go call brenda..u know who's brenda?..its this stupid lady who refuses to pick up my call!!..its not tt i wan to call her..its my father who asked mi to call her so tt i can get a stupid bank job..whoever this brenda person is..u r giving mi a whole lot of trouble!!..cant u juz pick up the fone and get it over and done with?..and i really cant stand my parents..get a good job..an admin one..go call brenda..this is a good job dun give it up..blah blah blah..its driving mi nuts!!..i hate it!!

town experience

2nd blog of the day..can u tell how slack im everyday?..anyways today i went to town wid janey and her fren..mingyi..

well actually we didnt really meant to go to town..we wanted to go to golden mile complex so tt miss janey can go repair her mp3 player..so we stopped at lavender and walked..i repeat..walked..there..in the hot blazing sun!!..we had to cross an overhead bridge too..i hate overhead bridges..who ever invented them in the first place has gotta be outta his mind!!..traffic lights r perfect..lets juz stick to the lights shall we..

anyway..when we finally found the place..it was empty!!..the stupid shop had either moved somewhere else or has totally ceased to exist..so in simpler terms..it was a totally wasted trip!!..of course..susan owes us a treat..we had to walked back in the blazing hot sun to the bus stop to take bus to town..wats worse..the bus was extraordinarily hot!!..i was sweating buckets there!!..made mi so irritated..

decided to go catch a movie..the avaitor( or avatar)..which we decided not to in the end cos there were no seats..so we sat at lido and slacked there for quite sum time before going to shop ard..oh yeah..and i saw ben today at lido..he say he wanted to go buy a wallet..anyway..his hair sucked..so yeah..aft tt..we were on our way home when we passed by this xbox exhibition and juz couldnt resist playing!!..hahha..we played DOA against a kid and won him quite a few times..as jane calls it..cheap thrill..hahah

ok..i did a stupid thing today..really really stupid..mi and janey were taking 190 back..so at the bukit panjang stop..i wanted to change bus to 960..before reaching the stop..i looked and saw 960 there..so i rushed dw with janey and took the bus behind 190..btw i boarded the bus only cos jane takes 180..so aft like 1 min aft i got up the bus..janey called mi and said..do u know wat bus u r on?..den i was like super panicky and i asked..not 960 meh?..den wat bus is it?..for a while she refused to tell mi so i grew even more panicky..den finally she said..u c where it turns to la!!..see whether it turns to ur house..u r on 190 la..turns out there's another 190 behind and i boarded the wrong bus!!!..im so stupid la!!..i cant believe it!!..so went back to cck and took 307 back instead..haiz..i did this a few times le!!..so irritating!!

*i'll c u soon..*

irritated~

im so totally irritated by my parents..they wan mi to get a job..and they haf been looking all ard, asking mi to go for this interview and tt interview..and all their jobs r like office hrs and haf to work weekends..arent they such blockheads?..already told them tt i dun wana work on weekends..they juz dun listen..say wat tt church is not my priority and all tt crap..im so pissed off..i really wish tt they will stop calling mi to go for interviews..i mean like..how can u reject ur own parents?..if u do,they ll come up with all kinds of stupid reasons and i'll get so irritated again..ahhhh!!!..god!!..i need a good job with flexible hrs!!..

sumtimes i wish tt im still in school..sumtimes only..den i wun haf to tink bout this stupid job thing..den i wun haf my parents harping dw my neck..this is all so frustrating!!..maybe if i wun a cl..maybe if i still had 2 sheep..den i can get any job..maybe maybe maybe..but theres no maybe!!..im a cl, i haf more sheep..to put it simply..i haf more stuff to do and hence more responsibility!!..i really dunno wat to do..y did god put mi in this position?..is there a way out?..

this is not a good start to a wonderfully hot day..not good to get crappy at the start of they day..argh!!..

la la la

caregroup yesterday was one of the longest cg i had ever been too!!..its like 3 and a half hrs long?..from abt 6 to 945..it was crrrraaaaazzzzzyyy man!!!..hahahha..i dunno y it dragged sooo long when everybody was terribly tired..weird aint it..

we anyway..we played maypia( sorry dunno how to spell)..it has become like our compulsary game for caregroup..we haf to play it every single time..and its been totally proven tt when i dun haf any posts..i ll survive till the end but i ll be the first one to die if i haf any posts..another weird thing..hmmmm..wonder y..murphy's law?..

i tink i learnt loads from sermon d yesterday..even tho mi and guan were giving it..the bondage part( pls no dirty thinking!)..it can be simple things tt we wun think of and probably dun even know tt we haf it..things like insecurity, being judgemental, laziness, hatred etc..mine's like definately laziness..i juz cant seem to get over it!!..but i know..tt someway or another..god ll pull mi thru it..and i know loads of sacrifices haf to be made..looking forward to it but also not very looking forward to it..know wat i mean..

anyways im so excited for sat..cos we r going shopping!!..i simply haf no more clothing and this trip to the singapore expo( the robinson's warehouse sale) is so so precious..and my mom ll be there so its an added bonus..i wun haf to pay den..hehhe..went for a job interview today..haf to work 17 days w/o off..no thank you and bye bye..going for another job interview tml..hope this one can.......

*haven seen u for a long time*

enough of whining!!

i haf enuf of my whining and complaining and fearing and worrying..everytime i plan cg wod xinyi and when sumthing goes wrong..immediately i'll go like, how my god!..im failing as a CL..wat should i do?..how how how?..and i juz realised tt i've been doing this for like 3 wks already..oh gosh..i cant go on like this!..

i mean..after all the encouragement from god and the promises he made to mi bout helping mi to grow my group..i still like worry things ll go wrong and tt i'll fail and tt the whole grp ll die..reminds mi of wat u know..the isralites in exodus..after moses led them out of eygpt..they encountered sum difficulties along the way..like cannot find water, cannot find food or shelther and the list goes on..each time..god comes along and help them out of trouble..and each time..they still dun get it tt god helps them and they still complain when they meet with another obstacle..when i read tt..i was tinking like..oh come on..god ll help u one..can u guys stop worrying and like trust god?..grow up!!..hahah..hmmm..but now tt i tink again..sounds like mi huh..y do i keep complaining?..y do i keep whining?..oh this is juz so gross..im sick of worrying every single week!!

tts the problem woth mi..i keep worrying..for every single little thing!!..i worry for caregroup every week..i worry bout not getting a job..i worry bout my sheep's lives, their problems and their needs..i worry whether i can be a good shepherd enuf to meet their needs..someone told mi tt i shouldnt worry bout them..tt they haf their own lives to lead and i haf my own as well..tt i shld juz teach them wat is god's will and den let them carry on with their lives..yeah i tink i shld..god is the best shepherd..he is the best guide..im juz his vessel and after all..worrying gets nothing done..

so from today onwards..im not gonna worry so much anymore..i'll juz let god be my guide..and im gonna be wat god wans me to be..and im gonna surprise everyone..including myself!!

8th dec 2005

today was a GREAT day!.i learnt and realised loads of things..lemme start off from the morning..i met geral to go to nexus together but den..we were late!..as usual..okok..i admit tt this time it was partially my fault ok..hahah..we arrived at like 215 and tot tt we missed praise..so we rushed like mad to cuppage la..and i wore my stupid clogs and it ate into my feet..tearing up my skin!!..its so pain now la..yeah..

anyway..we met sam and eugene at the lift..and again..eugene cant rmb my name!!..how many times haf i told u my name?!..and u r still calling mi katrine!..oh gosh..i shall not tok to u till u finally call mi by my right name..

service today was a..touching?..and life-changing one..it was about healing today..all kinds of healing..physical, emotional and spritual..at the end of the sermon..i felt god speaking to mi in two aspects..
1) abt my sick grandma..she's so sick and all the doctors like give up le..i felt god prompting mi to pray for her for a very very long time..but i guess im scared..im scared to even speak to god abt her..i dunno y..im not close to her at all..but i felt my eyes welling up wid tears..and the prompting was so so so terribly great..im amazed!!..and
2)my own spiritual life..i guess this really struck mi..cos now tt im not schooling anymore..i stay at home and slack the whole day..i do nothing except like playing xbox and..well..slacking basically..i dun even realise tt im straying away from god..hahah..i wana go repent..and tok to god again..i wana start this new journey wid him..and i wana c his plans for mi..

at the end of the sermon..jasmine called all the the leaders down and asked those who wants a personal prayer to go down too..i was still in a state of shock as to y i was feeling so strongly bout my grandma and was contemplating whether to go down..but xiang came and find mi before i had a chance to decide..im really glad tt she told mi bout her stuff and asked to pray for her..although i dun haf this thing myself..but i understand..cos my best fren is going thru the same thing..shant say too much here..

well anyway..after i prayed for xiangyu..i opened myeyes and looked down to daniel..and guess who i saw?..miz janey wah wah!!..all alone!!..and daniel was praying for her!..another bout of shock-ness came to mi..hahah..jane!!..all alone!?..asking for daniel's help?..wow..breakthrough man..hahah..during lunch..daniel broke to mi the news..tt jane got holy spirit baptised!!..i was so totally shocked!!..and elated!!..hahaha..i cant use words to describe how i feel..its so totally wierd kind of joy..u know wat i mean?..im so happy for her!..hhahha..now gurl..pls constantly pray about this ok..dun lose this special gift tt god has given to you..its His promise to you so claim it!!..its ur right!..use this gift and do wonders with it!!..im so sorry tt i didnt go down wid you!!..really really sorry!!..but im happy for you!!..ahah..you haf grown sooo much!..hehhe..

at CLM today..i learnt another thing..to set goals for myself and my group..im not the setting goals kind of person..i guess im juz lazy..well anyway..tamar's teaching was super!!..i tink im refreshed!!..ahhaha..the willingness and desire to serve god has came back..hahah..again..god spoke to mi..i haf learnt how to be an excellence person..i wan to do everything to my best!!..although it may turn out really crappy..but if its my best, god ll bless!..hahah..i shall go set goals later..

went home wid cathy today..haha..long time nvr did this le..and she told mi some things tt i nvr tot of before..and i tink tt i can really apply it into my life..hahah..as we were toking..she asked mi things tt reminded mi of my position in church..y am i where i am..and y did god chose mi?..i guess this questions really bring mi back to god's awesomeness..hahha..phi 4:13..i can do everything thru him who gives mi strength..amen!!..haahhaha..

as you can see..it was a fantastic day today!!..hahah..evil xbox!..u no longer haf a hold on mi..hahah..im juz crapping..guess im too tired..

the 4th day of staying at home..

im at home still...hahah..wana get a guitar..my mom gave mi money for it..surprising!..hahaha..gonna go play pool later wid jane..after checking out my guitar wid bee..hmmm..im still bz i guess..hahah..

its the new year~

its the 2nd day of the new year..hahah..tml(mon) would be my first day of my first job..im gonna go westmall and cover up for may to sell cookies..its only 4 bucks per hr..oh well..better den nothing i guess..nothing much to blog today..its been raining the whole day!..

my thanksgivings

its the start of a brand new year..2004 has ended..rite now..i wana reflect on how 2004 has passed for mi..and to thank every person whom i came across this year..

-God-
i wana thank god..firstly for bringing mi back to church..for sending ppl like xinyi to bring mi back..i also wana thank Him for being so real in my life..for transferring mi to the youth service where i grew soooo much in my faith..i wana thank Him for giving mi chances to serve Him in my ministry..thru being a shepherd, a CL and thru image..i wana thank Him for always being there for mi..comforting mi when i was down(especially the period when i was quarrelling wid my parents)..for giving mi supernatural strength and astonishing wisdom thru the exam period..for teaching mi to be more responsible in things tt i do..for curing mi when i was suffering from my illness..for giving mi courage to break the news of my conversion to my parents..for guiding mi out if a world of self-centredness and jealousy to a world of others-centredness..for shining thru mi to bring my frens back to Him..for giving mi ppl like shuyi who showered mi with love..for showing His plans to mi thru QT and my leaders..for all the miracles He performed thruout this whole year..for helping mi to understand my parents better..for giving my life a meaning and a direction..for forgiving mi and loving mi when i sinned time and again..for providing mi with time to manage all my stuffs..for protecting mi and my family..and so many more which i wun be able to type here..but most imptly..i wana thank Him for being who He is..the most wonderful, loving, faithful, kind, and patient Father..Lord, i thank you for you..

-Hope of God Ppl-
shuyi: thank you for being a wonderful shepherd..for always guiding mi back to the Word..for enduring all my nonsense when we tok on the fone..for always giving mi chances to do new things..for being such a loving sister..
xinyi: i tink tt out of all my shepherds..u r the one who's had it the worst from mi..thanks for pulling mi back to church..i know i haf been a really really naughty sheep..and if its not for ue encouragements and urgings..i wouldnt haf the commitment i haf now..
tamar: thanks for being a wonderful leader who always encourages mi!!..and how u put ur faith and trust in mi when i tot tt i couldnt ever be a CL..
daniel: my present UL..thanks for setting goals for mi!..hahah..and always making mi laugh!!..and for letting mi suan you..
eesiew: thanks for being my best fren!!..you r the one who always haf to endure my mood swings and my whinings..and u really try hard to be there for mi when i call you to complain/chat!!..hahah..and for bringing mi to Hope in the first place..and thanks for hearing all my nonsensical secrets..haha!!
jane: thanks for finally coming back to church!!..our frenship still stands strong even aft 2 yrs!!..
crystal and geral: thanks for being my guinea pigs sheep!!...hahah..and the laughther tt u both haf given to mi!!

and so many so many more!!..theres too much to write here..i tink if i go on..i'll write down every single person's name here!!

-My Family-
i wana thank my parents for allowing mi to go to church..even tho they hated it..i thank the two of u for always trying to understand mi..a complicated teenager who didnt tell u much things..i went thru sum horrible times which i kept as my darkest secrets..im really happy tt we haf finally sorted out many many things..and tt now both of u and mi r trying this new yet old relationship again..i tink we can make this realtionship work somehow..also wana thank my lil sister!!..she's sooo cute!!..tts enuf reason by itself!!..and last but not least..my lil brother..thanks for always taking cold water for mi!!..haha..and u also haf to endure my mood swings!!..hahah..and how u always try to intro mi to new online or RPG games..tks man!!

-May, Mei and Shu-
thanks for being my closest frens in PJ!!..i really miss the times tt we shared!!..ahaha..newton, overnight,dinner party and all tt nonsense..hahaha..

2004 is a turning pt in my life..i ll always rmb this yr..its the yr where i finally found the meaning of life..before 2004..i always tot of ways to kill myself..hahah..its also the yr where mi and my family r now closer and trying to be even closer still..its a wonderful year isnt it?!..

-My Prayers-
Lord i pray tt u ll continue to show urself to mi in the upcoming yr..lord i pray tt i'll nvr ever backslide again and hence forsake ur love..cos i haf experienced a tiny bit of u and it is already so so so amazing!!..Lord i also pray tt i can serve u better in church..to be more than wat i am now..Lord i know tt i can..altho i dunno how or when..but im very sure tt You haf sum great plans for mi..Lord i also wana pray a prayer of blessing for my family..i pray tt you ll continue to teach mi to love them..so tt i can show u to them thru mi..Lord i also pray tt u ll constantly be here with mi when i take on new respomsibilities and roles in ur church..Lord i pray tt my caregroup ll grow by such a large amt tt it is uncountable..Lord i also pray for my sheep..tt they ll grow more in their faith for you and someday..surpass mi and do much more than wat i can do for u..Lord i pray tt u bless my caregroup and the church..Lord..i also wana pray for the tsunami victims as well as the family members of the tsunami victims..i pray tt they ll find peace somehow Lord..and tt u ll be there to comfort them..Amen