zap

zap zap zap zap zap zap zap zap zap zap zap zap zap zap! if i haf the power to zap im sure i know some ppl offhand that i would wan to zap straight away.

zap all of u into small pools of ashes!!

ashes dun give u trouble..ashes are good compared to some humans..

i take back everything i said in the first paragraph of my last entry..cos xiang said it was weird..and i tink so too..so im taking it all back..

words hurts..if u haven got anything better to say den dun say..if i had it my way, i would haf given u a piece of my mind abt how i tink abt u already..and i dun see why u muz listen to him and not me and give some crap excuse..pisses me off..

i hope one day someone would learn, not to take us for granted..because our patience, haf almost reached their limit..and if we cant bear it anymore..den, adios amigos, u lead ur own life, and i ll lead mine..cos we know where we come from..and we know we wan to help amigos, but if amigos dun wan our help..dear lord, wat can we do?

im not in a very sound mind tonight..maybe i ll laugh at this post tml morning..maybe not..

today wasnt a very good day. and some ppl are bent on making it not a good day. well to u all, zhen de hao xiang rang ni men wu ma fen shi..god are u sure u wun shortchange us?

lots of things

welcome back to very pretty jinqi's blog! i juz met up with yk joel and joshua and i feel super happy! haha oh and not to mention the ac guys too..they always like to suan me but i feel really happy and comfy when im with them..maybe this is a little taste of heaven on earth :D im sure in heaven it will get even better! in eternity i can tink of ways to counter their suaning! oh wait, they will haf an eternity of tinking of new things to suan me..hmmmm..oh well! i dun mind! nice ppl = nice company

oh i rmb wat i wanted to blog abt! it was unit cg..we all went to east coast park to slack and haf fun..and i played my very first soccer match that day..learnt some techniques from jang and jem and it was off to a match..well, i scored 2 goals!! woohoo!! or was it 3? i tink soccer is quite a fun game now..oh wait, maybe this is juz an illusion..cos looking at how jarvin they all play, whoa..it doesnt look quite that fun..and u know wat, i tink god is really very good..cos i was afraid that it would rain at ecp so i prayed the previous day that it wouldnt rain so much till we couldnt enjoy ourselves..so on that day that i prayed, god made it rain the whole day..and the day we went ecp, it was quite dry! we could play our sports and stuff..sometimes god really likes to spoil his children..oh well, fathers do tend to spoil their children sometimes..heh..and im sure god knows wat he is doing..we had a great time!

i named the route which i walk home my god-talks-to-me-route..cos he always talks to me as im walking that route back home..today as i was walking again, humming to the tune on my ipod when god poped this thought into my mind..are u happy now? i said yes lord, i am..and he replied..i wan u to be happy..and i know wat he meant..in the past few months, serving him in this ministry haf made mi encounter some really HUGE rollarcoasters..haha hmmm i really dunno how to put it in words..but i understand god's heartbeat as he said that to me..yes lord..im happy :D really happy..tho things seem tough at times, but its all those little sweet things that get mi motivated to carry on..

i dun need big things to make mi happy..a simple gesture, a few words are enuf..the happiest thing for me, is when i tok to god..and he puts all those sweet words into my mind, assuring mi of his presence, telling mi to continue, telling mi that he wans mi to ba happy..how can i not be? i haf the creator of the universe at my side!

i told god that im not gonna touch a romance novel ever again..argh i cant stand myself..whenever i read those novels i will get all sappy and tinking and doing sinful things..NO GURL NO MORE!..i always felt it stupid when i see ppl telling themselves that they can handle the temptation and they put themselves rite into the midst of satan's territory..i tink to myself..HAH please la! put urself into temptation sure kena one! the wisest thing is to run away from temptation! if u know that this issue is ur weak point den dun do it la!..oh well, this is one thing that im guilty of now..romance novels..i haven touched one in like a year..den at chalet i was so bored i picked it up and read it..BIG MISTAKE..

run away from temptation! dun tink u can handle it. cos most probably, u cant.

someone told me this fact..scientists have found some really interesting facts abt the human body! its abt tears..u know when u are sad or happy u tear? so some smart scientist who i tink is probably too bored, suddenly tot of this question - wat is the difference in a sad tear and a happy tear? so this smart bored scientist decides to research on the dna or cells of those 2 tears..and he actually found that there was a difference!! in a sad tear, he found cells that are found in cancer cells! which means that sad tears are harmful for the body..that is why when u hold back sad tears ur eyes feel tired and pain..so its better to let out all the sad tears instead of trying to hold it back..kudos to the bored smart scientist..

it means i can cry more :D

thanks someone..a different kind of comfort, but it worked really well.

HAHA im kidding..how can jinqi be sad? i rmb another someone once told me..jinqi where got sad one? hmmm im not so sure abt that one..good frens, would u like to clarify for me? lol

i realise that im crapping now..oh well..maybe im in a crapping mood..i love this space..ITS MINE!!..lol..ok i shld go off now..

back again

HELLO im back again from another chalet! but this time its my family chalet..well it was kinda boring seriously, but got to spend time with my family so thats a good thing :D anyways im going out now so i ll blog more when i get home..and i got loads of things to say! so if i dun blog by tonight! u all can stone mi tml..

yeah freedom!!!

christmas chalet

HELLO im back from central christmas chalet!! it was much better this time cos we had a roof over our heads unlike the previous year, where we had to squeeze under a shelther at east coast park..haha..well it wasnt easy to squeeze like 90 ppl into a chalet that could only contain 25..but hoppies always manages to do the impossible..maybe its in our blood, where impossible is nothing..haha..

christmas has always been a festival of joy for us..cos it was here where our beloved saviour was borned into the world..without him, we would all be, i dunno wat now..still sacrificing bulls and rams perhaps..hahha a rather dirty and disgusting job..but with jesus, all we need to do is repent and we are saved..sometimes, i tink god has given us a priceless gift which we do not deserve..

speaking abt gifts..i tink god gave mi one during the chalet too..a christmas gift which i do not deserve..had been asking for it the past 6 mths..god kept the best till the last maybe..as i was walking home tinking abt all that had happened, god asked mi, so how do u like my christmas gift? i loved it my wonderful father..hahah u do surprise me so..but i tot christmas is a time where im supposed to give u my gift..cos its ur bday..god said, the joy that u are experiencing now is ur gift to me..

gosh i feel so...hmm how to describe it..so, full of nothing..ok let me try to explain..its like, even the gift that i give to jesus firstly comes from his gift to me..so actually, i couldnt haf given him anything till he has given something to me first..reminds mi of a phrase in a song - wat can i give to you that u have not given to me? even if i told god that i wanted to give him my life..but still, its his gift of dying that i could even haf life to give it back to him..ah i know the word..so dependant upon him..every minute of my life is dependant upon him..

my very breath is a gift from god that i give back to him..

as i progressed along in my walk with god..i slowly find out how inadequate i am..it starts off at first with u even realising that u are inadequate..the first time u tear abt ministry is prob the first time u realise that u actually haf the chance to screw up something cos u dunno how in the world are u gonna do it..its the first time u tink that, gosh i cant pull this off! god help..den in future, the next time u cry is when u realise that u are actually that helpless..and things are getting worse and u dun tink u can pull this off..

i cry too much sometimes..its my way of reliving stress and sadness and all those negative things that are poisoning my mind and soul..ppl get confuse and awkward when i cry..so nowadays i try hard to not cry in front of ppl whom im not close to..or ppl whom i dun wan to affect..still not very good at keeping some tears sometimes..argh..maybe i haf to learn to keep those horrible tears in..haha..sorry to those i affected..i really need to learn self control..

i hope nxt christmas would be even more special..but somethings, i hope i dun haf to wait till nxt christmas :D

thoughts

haha ive decided to heck the pictures and type words instead..i love wat joanne lee wrote in her xmas card to me..since im lazy to find it i shall juz agar type wat she said..this (blog) might not haf decorative pictures but it would be beautified with words!! woooo..such a nice sentence..haha..

i wana start off by affirming cab3..because i tink my guys deserve to be mentioned and given like the award for one of the most hardworking cg..seriously, they all worked hard for this xmas!! even jang, the newest member fasted and prayed for service can?! im like whoa!! last week we didnt haf visitors and i could see that they were a bit disappointed and discouraged..but we had an add fire meeting after service and i hope everyone was renewed..well today, they got 4 visitors to come and they went street evax the previous week!..so, i wana affirm everyone in my cg! AND i pray that u guys will grow more and learn more things abt god and become strong men for JESUS!

anyways, i haf a new verse to cling onto..lazy to flip bible again so from memory..the smallest of you will become a mighty nation..I FULLY CLING ONTO THAT GOD!! im gonna hold you for ur word..cab3 muz grow grow grow..really haf some kind of weird feeling when i see other grps big and mine relatively smaller..BUT i know my grp contains guys that are all out to do god's work! and i pray all of them will be filled with the joy of doing god's work and will not slack or be lost!!

JIAYOU central AB 3!! jiayou yk jem joel keith joshua jang quankai june mark!! we muz extend god's kingdom amen?! cab3 will NOT REMAIN SMALL..as yk puts as his msn nick, this is only the beginning..breakthru 21..it can be done! cos god said so..

back at home

ta-da! haha i haven had a chance to come here to blog for a long time..prob also because i haven gone online for more than an hr for the past 3 weeks..plus school is making mi feel really sleepy, combine with the crash drama practice straight after camp for first xmas svs..and there was camp from the 11th to the 13th!..nothing much to do now and today is proving to be a really boring day..and the worst thing is my parents are overseas and i could be doing something now but im not! urgh..wat a waste of a day..plus its raining so making it quite boring too..

ok juz found something to do..haha..anyways ive decided to do street evax..am going all out for god now..kinda got those ah-ha! moments..jiayou jiayou!!

cab3 is giving their 100%

loads of pictures in the nxt post.

thoughts

a lot haf been passing thru my mind recently..there are many many things that i haf to tink abt..with so much problems, situations and seemingly endless talks going on, i juz cant help but think that god is growing mi again..i dunno whether to laugh or cry..

my lil sis was picking food off the table juz now once she got out of her bath..my mom shouted from the kitchen "go dry ur hair!"..she put down her cup and started to turn to the bedroom..my mom didnt know so she shouted again "girl u better go dry ur hair getting very angry with u already"..den my sister ran to the room shouting along the way "okok because u said so, i will dry my hair"..that kinda stunned mi a little..it reminded mi of BYSSIW..llamma tot it in class..how many times do i adopt this attitude when my leaders tell mi to do something? hahah of course, im quite glad to say i haven said no to key whenever he asks of mi to do anything, but my attitude isnt always of the better one..i usually resist at first, saying huh u sure a not? can a not?..but i wan to change my attitude:) and im in the process of doing so! haf been doing some abnormal stuff the past few weeks like leading praise on stage which kinda got mi shaking on stage..haha..will u haf the same attitude?

im doing a major revamp in my life..i wan to get myself aligned back to god again..i tink ive been distracted a bit for a while now..bill hybels courageous leadership got mi back on track..and it made mi realise how impt a leader has to haf of a vision..god says it too in his words, without a vision the ppl perish..i need this vision in my life..a white-hot one that will capture mi for the rest of my life..hence, ive been praying and fasting for the ultimate direction..im positive that there are a lot of things abt myself that im still in the process of finding out..like wat is my breaking point, wat kind of leadership style do i haf that kinda thing..but i wan my vision..GOD i wan ur vision..give mi one that will steer my life in a direction where there is no turning back..haha..

a dangerous prayer, always gets answered..dangerously..

cl retreat today was awesome..tho we didnt do anything much, as in the activities..but i do see the value of spending time with all these fellow servants who haf opted to give their lives to god..the retreat was a time for all of us to understand one another better..knowing that in this race, we arent alone..the kingdom dream team needs effort to build :D i wan to do life with the team god has put together..wat is better than serving god? thats serving god with ppl whom u love to be ard with..whom know u well, who are there to listen to ur struggles..who are there to tell u hey girl im not alone..ppl who are there to pat u on the back and say, good job! jiayou for the nxt lap!..or when u fall down and scrape ur knee, they are there to help u back on the feet, place their hand on ur shoulder and say, dun worry we will watch ur back..the privilege of serving god in a team - i got that today..

xiang told mi on the train - love is rewarding..that sentence jotted mi back into reality..love IS rewarding..i know i was rewarded a hundred thousand times when i didnt give up loving..like xiang, cheryl, ruisi, ting, nicole etc etc..god is stretching my love and i can feel the thorns drawing blood in the inner most recesses of my heart..but love is rewarding..i will hang onto that..jiayou girl! give it some time..