christmas chalet

HELLO im back from central christmas chalet!! it was much better this time cos we had a roof over our heads unlike the previous year, where we had to squeeze under a shelther at east coast park..haha..well it wasnt easy to squeeze like 90 ppl into a chalet that could only contain 25..but hoppies always manages to do the impossible..maybe its in our blood, where impossible is nothing..haha..

christmas has always been a festival of joy for us..cos it was here where our beloved saviour was borned into the world..without him, we would all be, i dunno wat now..still sacrificing bulls and rams perhaps..hahha a rather dirty and disgusting job..but with jesus, all we need to do is repent and we are saved..sometimes, i tink god has given us a priceless gift which we do not deserve..

speaking abt gifts..i tink god gave mi one during the chalet too..a christmas gift which i do not deserve..had been asking for it the past 6 mths..god kept the best till the last maybe..as i was walking home tinking abt all that had happened, god asked mi, so how do u like my christmas gift? i loved it my wonderful father..hahah u do surprise me so..but i tot christmas is a time where im supposed to give u my gift..cos its ur bday..god said, the joy that u are experiencing now is ur gift to me..

gosh i feel so...hmm how to describe it..so, full of nothing..ok let me try to explain..its like, even the gift that i give to jesus firstly comes from his gift to me..so actually, i couldnt haf given him anything till he has given something to me first..reminds mi of a phrase in a song - wat can i give to you that u have not given to me? even if i told god that i wanted to give him my life..but still, its his gift of dying that i could even haf life to give it back to him..ah i know the word..so dependant upon him..every minute of my life is dependant upon him..

my very breath is a gift from god that i give back to him..

as i progressed along in my walk with god..i slowly find out how inadequate i am..it starts off at first with u even realising that u are inadequate..the first time u tear abt ministry is prob the first time u realise that u actually haf the chance to screw up something cos u dunno how in the world are u gonna do it..its the first time u tink that, gosh i cant pull this off! god help..den in future, the next time u cry is when u realise that u are actually that helpless..and things are getting worse and u dun tink u can pull this off..

i cry too much sometimes..its my way of reliving stress and sadness and all those negative things that are poisoning my mind and soul..ppl get confuse and awkward when i cry..so nowadays i try hard to not cry in front of ppl whom im not close to..or ppl whom i dun wan to affect..still not very good at keeping some tears sometimes..argh..maybe i haf to learn to keep those horrible tears in..haha..sorry to those i affected..i really need to learn self control..

i hope nxt christmas would be even more special..but somethings, i hope i dun haf to wait till nxt christmas :D