thoughts

a lot haf been passing thru my mind recently..there are many many things that i haf to tink abt..with so much problems, situations and seemingly endless talks going on, i juz cant help but think that god is growing mi again..i dunno whether to laugh or cry..

my lil sis was picking food off the table juz now once she got out of her bath..my mom shouted from the kitchen "go dry ur hair!"..she put down her cup and started to turn to the bedroom..my mom didnt know so she shouted again "girl u better go dry ur hair getting very angry with u already"..den my sister ran to the room shouting along the way "okok because u said so, i will dry my hair"..that kinda stunned mi a little..it reminded mi of BYSSIW..llamma tot it in class..how many times do i adopt this attitude when my leaders tell mi to do something? hahah of course, im quite glad to say i haven said no to key whenever he asks of mi to do anything, but my attitude isnt always of the better one..i usually resist at first, saying huh u sure a not? can a not?..but i wan to change my attitude:) and im in the process of doing so! haf been doing some abnormal stuff the past few weeks like leading praise on stage which kinda got mi shaking on stage..haha..will u haf the same attitude?

im doing a major revamp in my life..i wan to get myself aligned back to god again..i tink ive been distracted a bit for a while now..bill hybels courageous leadership got mi back on track..and it made mi realise how impt a leader has to haf of a vision..god says it too in his words, without a vision the ppl perish..i need this vision in my life..a white-hot one that will capture mi for the rest of my life..hence, ive been praying and fasting for the ultimate direction..im positive that there are a lot of things abt myself that im still in the process of finding out..like wat is my breaking point, wat kind of leadership style do i haf that kinda thing..but i wan my vision..GOD i wan ur vision..give mi one that will steer my life in a direction where there is no turning back..haha..

a dangerous prayer, always gets answered..dangerously..

cl retreat today was awesome..tho we didnt do anything much, as in the activities..but i do see the value of spending time with all these fellow servants who haf opted to give their lives to god..the retreat was a time for all of us to understand one another better..knowing that in this race, we arent alone..the kingdom dream team needs effort to build :D i wan to do life with the team god has put together..wat is better than serving god? thats serving god with ppl whom u love to be ard with..whom know u well, who are there to listen to ur struggles..who are there to tell u hey girl im not alone..ppl who are there to pat u on the back and say, good job! jiayou for the nxt lap!..or when u fall down and scrape ur knee, they are there to help u back on the feet, place their hand on ur shoulder and say, dun worry we will watch ur back..the privilege of serving god in a team - i got that today..

xiang told mi on the train - love is rewarding..that sentence jotted mi back into reality..love IS rewarding..i know i was rewarded a hundred thousand times when i didnt give up loving..like xiang, cheryl, ruisi, ting, nicole etc etc..god is stretching my love and i can feel the thorns drawing blood in the inner most recesses of my heart..but love is rewarding..i will hang onto that..jiayou girl! give it some time..