studying

opps haven been posting for a long time..haf been too busy watching get backers! haha its a nice anime but i heard it was super long time ago..dunno la..anyways the day before my exams i went to the airport to study with jasmine..the sofa at pacific coffee company was great! but they dun allow us to write there..sian..



jasmine is so bored listening to her webcast of her lecture..haha i tink she fell asleep numerous times while listening to that lecturer..



yeah me too..was so bored with memorizing all that art crap! made stupid mind maps and stuff all for 20 marks! and during the exam we had to write super a lot of stuff for 20 marks!





so anyways on sat we celebrated daniel's bday..if u wan more pictures u can go to the central blog..central b's job was to distract daniel by giving him a makeover so that the rest of the ppl could decorate america room and stuff..this was the makeover done by us :D:D



looks cool rite!! haha he didnt want to wear the purple shirt in the first place cos he tot it was gay..but it looked nice!!
alright nothing much else to say..going sinyee's house soon..cya!



oh yeah this is a video that dan ben xiang and me took when we went out for supper on sunday night..ben drove so we hang out till quite late..a retarded video of us doing some weird spinning thing at xiang's playground..it started as dan telling us some stupid science thing which we all didnt understand till ben explained it to us in arts term..haha..really retarded..

my life

random pics taken by mark..IM LATE..byes..

liberation

i feel super libreated today cos i finally cut off my long nails..hahah i find that i can type so much faster and with fewer mistakes now..cos when u haf long nails, u tend to either miss pressing some keys or u press two keys at one time..so now when the nails are gone, the finger is positioned nicely on only one key..can type faster..hahaha!!

which made mi tink..there are 2 sides to this point..maybe so tired christian who has served long in the church and made the mistake of not renewing him/herself and hence, decides to leave god might feel like me..liberated from the so-called clutches of god and now being able to do anything and everything he/she wans..the world seems like a different place when ur perspective changes..when u look at the world thru the eyes of god, u feel damn burdened for everyone ard you..faces, images of ppl who have not known god keeps poping up and u feel sad for them..but when u look thru ur own perspective, esp when one is still in the 20s, the world is a place full of fun and opportunities..and liberation from god allows u to enjoy urself, and live for urself..

yet on the other hand, liberation from god brings u into the clucthes of sin..and now, when u sin, theres no one there to forgive u time and again..no one there to tell u that everything is alright, ive died and now u are redeemed..when u are in the clutches of sin..there is no redemption..there is no heaven..there is only hell..80 yrs of heaven on earth, an eternity of hell..when u are not in god, there is no saving grace..u fall, and there is no one to pick u up..

slowly the burdens come, the loneliness, the sorrow, the emptiness, the searching within oneself for the meaning of life..year after year, they build up upon one another..and one becomes a grain of sand, fitting in perfectly in the beach of life..u cant see the end, u cant find urself..u are lost..but dun worry, there is another option! liberation from sin..make the choice and u are right back to being the beautiful shell on the beach..

liberation from sin..brings u right back to the clutches of god..and u find that being in the clucthes of god aint so bad after all..in fact, its too good and u dun realy tink its all real..heaven and hell..am i really going heaven? man i dunno..i ll believe that ive become that beautiful shell..haha..

sometimes, i wonder, if things didnt change, would i haf been happier?

helpless

sometimes i feel quite helpless at the daunting tasks in front of me..sometimes i wonder whether i do haf the courage on doing wat im currently doing..most times i even wonder whether i do actually know wat i tink i know im doing..sometimes i dun like to tink so much as i would somehow end up discouraging myself and looking down at myself and..sometimes it is hard to be righteous, to toil and work for jesus, somehow praying that wat u haf believed in all along prove to be true..

im a natural worrywort..and i hate it..i worry incessentaly abt many many things..but nowadays i feel much more calm and relaxed..cos, i learnt abt meditating..which means that instead of dwelling abt the problem, i dwell more instead on the words of god..and it helps!! which is quite surprising for me as ive never really felt peace while worrying no matter how much i tried in the past..well, god's words do make a difference..well after all, they did come from the mouth of the almighty god..so there muz be a difference between human beings words and god's words rite..haha..im sure of that :)

there are many things i do not know, many things where im still trying out my baby steps..making mistakes along the way and learning from them..trying out this and that, seeing which one works the best..but one thing that i do know, is that im trying my best..i know that watever im doing stems from the fundamental principle imbedded in my heart that everything i do, i wan to do them in order that i can acheive the best results to glorify my wonderful jesus christ..so, i guess, if im doing god's work, he wun let me make a BIG mess out of it rite..he will take care of me im sure of that..

haha, sometimes the world seem like a huge scary merciless place..but ive got my enormous beautiful merciful god..and he loves mi :) thats all that matters, isnt it?

mondo shoes

look at what claire got for mi!!!! its REALLY nice and i love the gold trimmings..now i know y she wanted to keep the shoes for herself as it is so cute..hahah..i love you baby!! thanks for the shoes!! and it fits mi..




preety preety shoes with gold trimmings and ribbons..



my dad didnt believe that claire gave it to mi and tot that i was lying to him..hahha..come to tink of it, ive been eye-ing one similar shoe for quite sometime alr and tinking whether i shld get it..BUT claire gave mi one!!!! SO TOUCHED..hahha..

yeah i got new shoes!! thanks thanks! i tink god really loves mi a lot..hahah cos i receive so many blessings and i haf REALLY good frens!

new fone!

yeah yeah!! i got a NEW fone!! hahah am so sick of my lousy nokia fone and i got the sony ericsson one instead! woohoo i love sony ericsson..

plus i can take NICE pictures now and post them on my blog..ahahah i am so happy..thanks to mom and dad for getting it for mi!! i love it..hahahah..



first pic i took with it..im the ultimate princess!



mi and baby..hahaha..i dunno y the quality usually ends up yellower than it looks tho..zero idea..



introducing joseph! the extremly soft stuffed toy that the guys gave mi for my bday..and its called joseph cos it was given to me by the SJI guys! looks fierce and scary i know..but i love it!

the human nature

its been a week since my last post..haha sorry faithful readers..ive been busy with stuff like watching goong on youtube and going out..actually getting lazier to blog now..

i have to mention this before i forget..on 3rd nov 2006, my lovely dmm surprised mi at key's house..and key wrote mi a song! can u believe it..it was so sweet and it really touched me..but i forgot to take the lyrics back..shld rem to ask from him later..i love the team..haha

i would really love to blog..actually no, i dun tink i would really love to blog..haha..anyways, im going to do qt first, and hopefully, i would come back later..

pictures of bday stuff that i received..the fierce looking soft toy is from the sji guys whom were oh-so-sweet to mi on saturday..i tink im only gonna receive that treatment like once per year..



ate with family at sakura at omnitheatre..loads of oyster and sashimi YUM!





pressie from my 3 sheep..xiang cheryl and daixuan..ahaha..my sis loves it..

happy birthday to me

i ultimately declare that Central B has completely outdone themselves in their attempt to surprise me for my birthday..completely..haha..or maybe they were attmpting to surprise mi at all but i surprised myself..ah whichever it is im thankful to god for them..

thanks everyone for the msg-es and to joshua for the call..it was really sweet..

am too tired to blog..shall do so tml..

pictures and more pictures

its really hard to type on the keyboard when u haf long nails..they keep interfering with the keys..its like i either miss out on some letters or i type 2 letters at the same time..really irritating and its worse when i type on a lappy..the price women haf to pay for beauty..oh well..tahan a while more! im gonna cut them off soon..

pictures of kai's halloween party at his place.
theme: Hollywood Celebrities, but there was an assortment of ppl.



a grp foto of the gurls..sailor moon, ken, chunli, bimbo paris hilton, pirate, queen, asian ghost, sexy pirate, ah girl (obviously a guy)..



bimbo pirate and blur pirate..gosh i love my nails..2 calafares at the side..



kai was dressed as har gay..quite disgusting really..



paris and hard gay..





marc as a tranny..





pirate and L..looks like rite?!



witch and goldilocks..







gurl who didnt shave her hairy legs..





lucifer at the side? prob, look at the thing he is carrying..party wasnt too bad..left before those crazy ppl played quo wang yu wo..or else i would haf died..im damn suay at that game..whew..

birthday

i tink cg is on a roll..we are getting better every single week!! good job team! u guys deserve a pat on the back for making cg so fun..haha..

went to meet eelee after that and she treated mi to ichibon boshi as my bday pressie..hahah i haven ate jap food for quite some time..yum yum..soft shell crab handroll rocks my socks off my balls, bounce them off the walls and onto the floor! whee..

memories

blogger is taking a SERIOUS long time to load so i was juz skimming thru my past posts..was reading the one on the ultimate dare camp i tink, the one where we had empire and republic..that time i was still in central f and tamar hadnt gone off to new zealand for her exchange program..like how long was that..june 2005, gosh thats a year ago..more than a year..and many things haf happened..reviewing my past posts chokes up memories that seem so far yet, when i count the months, seem so near..i rmb that camp was the only camp where i cried really hard during some affirming thing..and i haf never cried harder in front of so many ppl since then..cos at that time, i was so totally convinced that im the absolute worse CL ever in hope..but my grp surprised mi with lit candles in a room and started to affirm mi till i cried..wow, those were the days..that was the time i felt so, loved and supported..

i realise i miss loads of svs in the past..which i wouldnt even dream of doing now..many changes within and ard mi..and its only been slightly more than a year! tink of all the rest of the years that i still haf left..i cant imagine wat i would go thru..i tink at every point in my life where i felt down and blogged, i was sure that i did the most stupidest thing in the world and that its not gonna get better..but god has always shown mi that it did get better and grew mi to such a large extent that i wouldnt recognize myself if i were my fren..lol..

and rite now, im once again stuck with the thought that i did the most stupid thing in the whole wide world and things are gonna start crumbling down..gosh, jinqi juz never learns does she? i dun really know..how many times do i haf to repeat a cycle? its irritating and a waste of time..BUT its one of my horrible weaknesses which im trying real hard to get over! argh..my mind is my greatest weapon, it can build up and destroy mi with juz one thought..

good good, im starting to blog more now..i was juz tinking that i seemed to be more carefree in the past, ok that was when i was in central f..gosh i really loved central f..with all those east coast outings and where we first played the game panic all thanks to ben wai..seriously, panic has NEVER been more fun since that very first time..i rmb we moved location juz to play that game and we saw cheryl's violent side..kemmy and jo were still there..lol things haf changed dramatically haven they? new additions, new faces, light up my life..

but i realise its unfair to see im not carefree now..cos if i tink abt it, i still am..

i could go on and on abt the many lovely memories that i haf had in my ministry life..from central e, where we had cgs at my place with geraldine, cheryl etc to central f with xiang ben wai derrick etc to central b jc grp to central b high school grp..derrick was right, i do haf a happening life after all..i juz didnt see it..memories are memories..i loved those memories and keep them dear within my heart..but u know wat, memories are not meant to cap mi..im gonna create newer and better ones, each would go into the new container on the shelf in my heart..dust settles on the older ones but i would open them somedays and rmb the good old times..new ones are there cos i thrive on memories to keep mi going..i wouldnt want to lose the wonderful things that we did would i?

someone once told mi..u love ur past memories? good, now go create new ones..u betcha i would..all the best for ur 56 good fren, im going for my 21..

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everyone - i love my blog skin too!! haha im a babe jesus loves..that makes mi a HAPPY babe!