memories

blogger is taking a SERIOUS long time to load so i was juz skimming thru my past posts..was reading the one on the ultimate dare camp i tink, the one where we had empire and republic..that time i was still in central f and tamar hadnt gone off to new zealand for her exchange program..like how long was that..june 2005, gosh thats a year ago..more than a year..and many things haf happened..reviewing my past posts chokes up memories that seem so far yet, when i count the months, seem so near..i rmb that camp was the only camp where i cried really hard during some affirming thing..and i haf never cried harder in front of so many ppl since then..cos at that time, i was so totally convinced that im the absolute worse CL ever in hope..but my grp surprised mi with lit candles in a room and started to affirm mi till i cried..wow, those were the days..that was the time i felt so, loved and supported..

i realise i miss loads of svs in the past..which i wouldnt even dream of doing now..many changes within and ard mi..and its only been slightly more than a year! tink of all the rest of the years that i still haf left..i cant imagine wat i would go thru..i tink at every point in my life where i felt down and blogged, i was sure that i did the most stupidest thing in the world and that its not gonna get better..but god has always shown mi that it did get better and grew mi to such a large extent that i wouldnt recognize myself if i were my fren..lol..

and rite now, im once again stuck with the thought that i did the most stupid thing in the whole wide world and things are gonna start crumbling down..gosh, jinqi juz never learns does she? i dun really know..how many times do i haf to repeat a cycle? its irritating and a waste of time..BUT its one of my horrible weaknesses which im trying real hard to get over! argh..my mind is my greatest weapon, it can build up and destroy mi with juz one thought..

good good, im starting to blog more now..i was juz tinking that i seemed to be more carefree in the past, ok that was when i was in central f..gosh i really loved central f..with all those east coast outings and where we first played the game panic all thanks to ben wai..seriously, panic has NEVER been more fun since that very first time..i rmb we moved location juz to play that game and we saw cheryl's violent side..kemmy and jo were still there..lol things haf changed dramatically haven they? new additions, new faces, light up my life..

but i realise its unfair to see im not carefree now..cos if i tink abt it, i still am..

i could go on and on abt the many lovely memories that i haf had in my ministry life..from central e, where we had cgs at my place with geraldine, cheryl etc to central f with xiang ben wai derrick etc to central b jc grp to central b high school grp..derrick was right, i do haf a happening life after all..i juz didnt see it..memories are memories..i loved those memories and keep them dear within my heart..but u know wat, memories are not meant to cap mi..im gonna create newer and better ones, each would go into the new container on the shelf in my heart..dust settles on the older ones but i would open them somedays and rmb the good old times..new ones are there cos i thrive on memories to keep mi going..i wouldnt want to lose the wonderful things that we did would i?

someone once told mi..u love ur past memories? good, now go create new ones..u betcha i would..all the best for ur 56 good fren, im going for my 21..

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everyone - i love my blog skin too!! haha im a babe jesus loves..that makes mi a HAPPY babe!