been really lazy to blog these past few days..tho its holidays now..im actually getting quite sick of holidays(ok all those who are schooling u can kill mi)..but its like..theres holidays every 3 weeks!!..too much holidays make holidays not so special..sighs..and wats worse is that everyone's like having their exams now and no one is free to go out with mi..its the stress period and everyone's busy mugging..and im like the only one whos slacking..its not nice to slack by urself..its nicer when u are slacking ard in places like cafe cartel with ur close frens..but everyone's having exams!!!..and im left to be at home and watch my korean vcd!!..

oh yeah..got my results already..i got an A!!..yeah cheer for mi everyone!!..finally i saw 'A' printed on the results slip..i haf been waiting so long for this breakthru..from now on..everytime i open my results slip..im gonna see an A..hahah..not tt im proud..but i'll boast in GOD's name!!..haha..i couldnt haf got an A for this one..i was so sure..cos u see..i had to do 4 questions..i could only do 2..which means i would haf juz passed..crapped the other 2 questions so the highest i was expecting was a B..but no!..it says here clearly..



A!!..im so freaking happy..tt means my gpa will go up!!..tt means im on my way to taking my honours..hahah..praying tt this continues throughout the whole course..thank you lord sooo much!!..

oh finally watched advent children already..after much nagging from llamma and puaylin..for those who haven watch..GO WATCH NOW!!..its a damn nice show!..for those who arent intending to watch..u can go and knock ur head against a pillar and juz die ok..its too nice not to watch..go go go!!..no matter wat u HAF to watch..im not kidding!..

my fridge is spoilt..tt sucks..

star light star bright

star light star bright,
first star i see tonight.
wish i may wish i might,
haf the wish i wish tonight.

i wish that u feel,
the pain u made mi feel.
i wish i could tell u,
wat i haf tot abt u.

i wish i could let u see,
that u are the one of whom i speak.
i wish i could show u,
that u are reading abt u.

the feeling of not letting someone know that he/she is the one u haf been toking abt is saddening..but somethings are never meant to be said out..it all goes down into the secret box within our minds..to be kept under lock and key..nvr to be retrieved again, forever..

move on gurl..

a joyful gurl

im a joyful gurl rite now..not a happy gurl..cos happiness depends on happenings but joy depends on jesus..sorry to all those who had to put up with the unjoyful jinqi for a while..things happen that i wish didnt but well..everyone makes mistakes..

finally finally i haf settled out everything!!..unrepented sins really take u away from god..pastor jeff's sermon spoke sooo much to mi..i realised i was being quite foolish..but everything's ok now..the emotional scars are there..but god is also there to mend it all up..

leaders are human..and human beings make mistakes..gosh i cant even count all the mistakes i made..some are huge boos boos while others are juz teeny little ones that make u embarressed when u tink back on them..mistakes always holds some kind of consequnces..little ones only affect urself and tts not so bad..big ones affect others which may be bad..but mistakes dun happen unless god allows them to happen rite..so they can never really be a bad mistake..cos ppl learn from all mistakes..the only really bad mistake..is to slide away from god and never return..

mistakes are made at every single turn..we affect others knowingly or unknowingly..and i thank all who haf forgave mi for the mistakes i made..if they never forgave mi..i couldnt grow and be where i am now..cos in church..i sincerely believe from the depths of my heart..tt no one is condemned for life juz because of one single mistake..cos if even the church condemns..den there is no hope for the world..no..in church everyone is forgiven..chances are meted out again..

i apologize to u on the behalf of all leaders..but we are human beings too..pls forgive us..the big wrongdoing of men..is to complicate the simple truths that will lead us all back to god..dun lose ur pure and first motives..rmb tt its all abt god..and never abt men..

and to you..i forgive you..dun feel restrained in coming back..because everyone is given a the chance to start anew..

help

i know i can get at least B for this module..tts like quite a miniumun cos after doing the paper and the assignment..i tink tt i can get an A..well..lets hope for the best den..it was quite a miracle cos i managed to memorize the whole dumb textbook and regurgitate out all the points that were needed..altho at the begining of the paper i had a momentarily head block..i couldnt rmb a single thing at all!!..all those who are studying know wat i mean rite..its the scariest thing tt a student can ever experience in his life..u spent a whole lot of hrs swallowing all ur meaningless notes and when u are in tt room, sitting down on a table with tt paper in front of u..u cant seem to rmb anything tt u haf studied..gosh tt sucks..

went to mind cafe with the rest of mi sheepmates to celebrate joyce chee-ken's bday..was actually at ps first when we blindfolded her and lead her on a get-to-know-ps tour..hahah..met michelle at mind cafe!!..she's working there..haven seen her since i transfered outta ajc..

played boardgames there..first game..Halli Galli..im the best fruit connoisseur in the whole world man..dun play play ah..2nd game..jenga which puay lost!!!..wahhahah..i had to blog abt tt..and last game..apples to apples..im the best bullshiter in the whole grp as well..i mean..how can u link the word explosive with baked potatoes and still win?..no one can crap as much as mi..oh well..

gonna haf church today..i cant wait..i hope its because of wat i hope it is..and not wat i dun wan so much to happen..sighs..haf u ppl ever experienced sumthing like..a scenario/person/conversation etc keeps replaying over and over again in ur mind?..u dun wan to tink bout it but ur dumb brain keeps replaying it..the same scene, the same face, the same conversation or watever that it is..and sumtimes u give a stupid grin on ur face or sumtimes u feel so paiseh tt u wished u didnt did tt..gosh!!..stop tinking gurl..its impossible..you are so dead gurl..

2nd cg

had our 2nd cg today..for the record i didnt tink tt worship was a screw-up..it was ok wats..at least we can all sing the songs u know..unlike last wk..hahha..seriously it was ok..cg was quite fun, now knowing wat an excellent actress nicole is!!..ahhaha..anoiting flows man!!..and geneie can act like a hippo while kiap does an excellent impersonation of garfield..hee..tho still miss ruisi and janey tho..

exams tml!!!!..yikes!..i duno whether i haf enuf time to study everything!!..my head is already overloaded from memorizing everything from community relations and crisis management..theres so many things to rmb!!..nvm i know god ll enlarge my memory space so that i can memorize extraordinary large amt of information..i already know tt god takes care of my exams..as he had been for my previous 3 papers..he's doing his part and im doing mine..i like tt..

conversation with xinyi..
jinqi: hello xinyi, where are u?
xinyi: can u stop asking mi that?..im studying at kap..where else can xinyi be?
jinqi: xinyi im so stress lor!!..i dun tink i haf enuf time to study all my stuff!!
xinyi: mi too..dun stress juz go study now..take one step at a time..studying is good!!..we haf the opportunity to study!!..god has given us this opportunity!!..
jinqi: yes amen!!..study study study!!..we shldnt waste this opportunity!!
xinyi: yes!!..go study!!..we both shall study happily together!
jinqi: ...u know xinyi..we are currently the most pathetic ppl on earth..
xinyi: haha..yea lor..

class is starting to be more fun..class is good..lectures is great..exams suck..tts all..they shld ban exams!!..its unfair to test students on everything they haf learnt for like 2 yrs in juz 3 hrs..unfair unfair..whoever invented exams muz haf suffered so much that he wans others to suffer with him..

pictures of class in formal wear..



i tink my make-up is too light..mmmm..im in between an indian and a malay..maybe my make-up is juz rite after all..





hahha..kai looks likes a turtle stretching his head out like tt!!..(kai is the one behind mi to my left)





the macho guys and chio gurls of the group..hahah..lulu is in between cos we cant really decide whether he is a male of female..so..yeah..tts y he/she is in both fotos..gosh marc looks like he's posing for manhunt!!

scenario of hell courtesy of da bing:
im sure in hell they make all of them do nothing except study and run..study den run..run den study..tts hell..i agree!!..hahah..

i love god

haven blogged for sooo long!!..sorry to keep my fans waiting..i know im missed..hahah..gosh i sound like a particular blogger..yucks..anyways my long absence is due to 2 reasons..1) my exams are approaching so ive been slogging over the com trying in vain to finish my assignment asap and 2) i have been undergoing a period of extreme tiredness and dryness due to an illness that was not properly treated..dun worry im not gonna die..hahah..

so well anyways..lets c wat happened..oh i went kbox on sun!!..with my 3 dearest fren from css..baoyue lily and eileen..i haf the fotos!!..lets post them up..here goes..





















yup here we are having fun and doing many stupid things..haven gone to kbox for so long le..kelvin when are we going!?..i tink tt the kbox at clementi is a good place..they arent many ppl and hence we get to drag our timings..supposed to leave at 7 but we stayed till 8!!..wah..haha..ok nxt meeting soonli plan rite?..time for my bday!!..hahah..oh baoyue ur pressie still here!!..ahhhh..

juz had tuition today..teaching science for this pri 5 kid..sighs i really dun like teching..i feel like im somehow inadequate..well..really wan to put in effort for this..hahah..had a look at the syllabus today..wat in the world is external and internal fertilization?!..can u rmb anything abt pri sch science?..all i can rmb is the angsana tree..hahaha..oh well..

meeting the box tml for dinner at some jap restaurant..haven seen them since i still had long hair..gosh how long is tt!!..hahah..cant wait cant wait..

its surprising how a little each day can add up to a staggering amount someday..like u always tink tts a little..juz a little..and one day..bam!..theres so much..and so overwhelming..tts when u try to clear away some of the stuff..but u find that its no use..theres too much..u feel tired..do u carry on or do u give up?..

its surprising how much u build urself up with and it all comes tumbling down in a few secs..u spend time tinkingabt the principals..u weight out the pros and cons..u take out the bible and look for encouragement..u pray for god to build up ur defences..but when the time comes..all the walls that u built break down..and the enemy attacks..leaving no stone untouched..the enemy doesnt kill u completly..no tts too easy for u..he leaves u clinging onto the last strands of ur life..while offering u a decision..i can leave u here to die slowly or u can join mi..u tink..how can all my time of building these walls be in vain?..maybe, juz maybe..u didnt build the wall with the right foundations..u trusted too much in urself..so wat do u do?..do u struggle to build the walls again or do u take the easier way out?..

its surprising how men always do things that we know we shldnt..keep tt in mind..i said we shldnt..i didnt say we cannot do these things..everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial..and men..due to the temptings of the heart..the wanting to do the forbidden..always choose to things that arent beneficial..men knows y and agree that he shld not do such things..but men refuses to accept the reason and argue that they haf human rights..the free will as they call it..men loves taking control on their own lives..even tho they know tt they haf no way of ruling themselves well..is men stupid or juz plain dumb?..

its surprising how men always make the same mistakes over and over again..the last time u made the mistake..or did sumthing u shldnt haf done..u promised god and u promised urself..never..NEVER ll i do tt again..and u repent furiously..and the nxt time..when the temptation strikes..u fall into the same trap..and after u pick urself up..u repent once more..never ll i do this again!!..this time im sure of it..and once more..u do the same thing..and it gets so frequent..that overtime..u dun wana repent anymore..cos u know tt maybe u ll do it again someday..wats the use of frequently repenting when i keep doing it?!..

god help mi to repent fervently once more..not some slipshot work of saying..dear god i cant believe i did tt again!!..sighs..pls forgive mi..i repent..i dun wan the severity of my sin to fade with each time i sin..i wan to rmb that u judge all sin the same..tt it hurts u..and tt it nails jesus to the cross once more as sacrifice for my sin..thanks for teaching mi thru sermons..u haf done ur part..and i haven done mine..i haven kept my end of the bargain..

but im feeling better now!..its amazing wat a little determination can lead u to..never ll i leave u..never ll i forsake u..dear god..i've heard u say this to mi a million times..now lemme say it back to you..god, never ll i leave you, never ll i forsake u..its never too late to start anew..and im starting from scratch once again..

dear god..i learnt a secret today..i dunno wat to do..i pray..i pray so hard..that u help mi to love..becuase i've no idea how to tread pass these barriers..and only love can do tt..

*im glad u came today*

went shopping with mom today..hahha..shopping therapy is fantabulous!!..we bought so much stuff and we had no car..which means we haf to take mrt back while carrying all the plastic bags!..so heavy la..well anyways here's a list of wat we bought today..all at og at chinatown mind u..imgaine how tired i am now..

things bought:
1) 3 t-shirts for mi which are so nice
2) 2 t-shirts for mama which are wat she likes
3) 3 bras..ahhaha..
4) 2 sweaters for jinhui when we go for our overseas trip
5) snacks
6) ...gosh i forgot wat we bought already..

shopping is really a great way to lose weight..mi and mum didnt eat but juz walked ard and tried clothes for almost 3 hrs!..legs are so tired now and ive not been tinking bout games for cg..orh-hoh!!..i know..im so sorry..i ll go tink after this..

mama told mi tt she wanted to go beijing or shanghai for end of yr trip..but she says its too expensive for her to bring the whole family..my family has 6 ppl..her budget for 1 person is 1000 bucks..and this doesnt include shopping money..tt means mummy has to pay 6000 bucks to bring the family out for yr end trip..den she started saying how she needs to save 12,000 bucks for my school fees and another 4,000 bucks for mi to fly to oklahoma..sighs..im starting to feel bad now..maybe i ll juz go to genting after all..

i swear tt after i go out to work nxt time i ll bring my mom on overseas trip..and let her finally enjoy her life after slogging so hard at work..and she spends so much money on mi..buying wat i wan(altho she does complain a lot)..i wana bring my dad on trips too..den it ll be mi paying for the family..not my parents anymore..i wana do sumthing for my family when i grow up!..i love them so much..

so i haf decided..tt i shall not ask my parents for my ipod nano anymore..i shall work and den save to buy my ipod nano..gosh dunno when tt ll be be..



ipod..so sleek and elegent..so classy..



and its so slim!!..its scary..im afraid tt i ll break it if i accidentally drop it or sumthing..but its so nice..hmm..shld i get ipod nano or ipod shuffle better ah?..janey which is better?..

i love ikea..went there today after class in my stupid FORMAL attire..the things there are so nice!!..and their chicken wings are amazing..if u haven eaten ikea chicken wings..u haven eaten wings in ur whole life..yes tts hw nice it is!!..go try it!..

lesson learnt

lesson learnt today: dun judge a book by its cover..or dun judge someone by wat others tell u bout him/her..

such an easy lesson..but one which we take so long to learn..

it's sooooooo hot!!!..y is the weather so hot this past few days!!..its so hot tt i haf to tie up my hair!!..and how short is my hair?!..my brother says im sick..cos its gonna rain now and yet i feel hot!!..ahhhh!!..i hate singapore's weather!!

i've been a pig for the past few days..juz eating sleeping and playing only..not doing anything at all..im gonna start working on my assignment tonight..tt means u ll probably see more posts due to boredom or frustration..germ says altho my course seems like a dry desert..i muz still study hard for god!!..not only glorify god in one aspect but EVERY aspect of my life..wow..easy to say ah..so hard to do!!..but if its for god..no matter how hard..i shall persevere on!!..all muggers out there shld haf this kind of mentality too..den at least we know tt we dun kill out brain cells for nothing..

well got some pics recently..so shall post them up..





pictures of the hong kong delegates when they visited singapore..i miss them quite a lot..hahah..but great to know tt nxt time when i go hong kong..i can go see them!!..its so cool u know..like in almost every part of the world there is a family of close frens tt welcome u..wow..ahhaha..international frenships!!..cooolll!!..





this was taken when we went for the discipleship seminar..shuyi bought mi this pig and we were juz playing with it when we realised tt it fits directly onto our heads!!..cool rite?!..looks like zhu ba jie or sumthing..hahah..and the pig is so cute too!!..ok for the record we were paying attention to the seminar..this is before the seminar started..so..we were not playing during the talks ok?..hahha..

ok tts it for the pictures..i wana get a digicam..the lousy cam tt my father bought is so useless tt i bet tt even the garang guni man doesnt want it even if we gave it to him for free..its so worthless!!..haiz..

went swimming with classmates on friday when they came my house..i learnt butterfly stroke!!..so fun!!..and most importantly..i exercised..haha..hmmm decided tt i shall go swimming freqeuntly..i miss swimming..haha..plus its a good thing to do when the weather is so darn hot!!..and do u know where im going for year-end holiday?..genting highlands!!!..wat the?!..im gonna go there twice this year!!..how boring!!..im gonna psycho my mom to bring us somewhere else like hk or sumthing..i dun wana go genting!!..im sick of it!!..

shopping!!!

been so tired for the past few days cos of school!!!..i simply cant wake up early enuf even tho i haf my morning calls and stuff..sighs..and i get so tired in class tt i fall asleep even tho i try soooo hard not to!!..im such a pig..too tired to blog..so super long post coming up..

im doing PR now..its so super darn fun..tho the lecturer toks SO soft tt i haf to strain my ears to hear him..but im learning so much stuff tt i can hardly rmb!!..all abt campaigns and advertising and proposals etc..hey im not complaining!!..at least it isnt boring chem or econs!..well realised tt there are so many smart ppl in my class and tt im actually quite limited in my general knowledge!!..ahhhh!!!..like half the time i didnt know wat events they were toking bout!?..sob sob..but i like this module..and since i got a C for my em..i better buck up..

went to watch red eye today with xiangz..its a good show tho its kinda short and predictable..it keeps u glued to the screen for every single minute..oh but sum parts were so gross!!!..mi and xiang were cowering in our seats with our jackets over our eyes..and all the while u can hear us rattling 'shit shit shit!!' during the exciting parts..theres this super cute actor who played the role of the head bodyguard..we got his real name..colby donaldson..woo-hoo!!..hhahaha..the show does has loopholes tho..but who cares when its so exciting!?..luckily i know bout the throat part so we managed to cover our eyes in time..whahhah..good old suspense thriller without much complicating stuff..go watch it!!..

at the bus stop we saw this blind woman and we helped her get onto her bus and stuff..no one else helped her and juz walked past?..wat is the world coming too?!..gosh like how sucky ppl are becoming?!..its irritaing..like no one cares for anyone except themselves nowadays?..where is the love man?..

got mi tinking..sometimes we take the most simple things for granted..i know u hear it a lot of times..but we juz dun stop and really tink..like take sight for example..i really dunno how i would live if i were blind..can u imagine not knowing colours?..not seeing stuff..how do u shop if u are blind?..how do u walk along orchard road?..i guess sumtimes its good to tink bout such stuff..den u wun take grace for granted and do all sorts of silly things..and in the end..u hurt urself and others..not worth it!!..at all..

on a lighter note..i went shopping today!!!!!!..its the robinsons exclusive only for members sale today and my mom went shopping..well i mean..robinsons?..wat can u expect rite?..so i was juz tagging along without anything impt to buy..den i saw ZA!!..20% + 20% discount leh!!..tt makes 40% manz!!..wah lau eh!!..bought 2 way foundation for juz 15 bucks can?!..usual price 23.60 leh!!..bought blusher and eye liner too!!..wats the best thing?..MY MOM PAYS!!..wahhaha..oh my goodness im so happy now lor..started off as a tiring day turned out nice in the end!!..shopping therapy is the best therapy on earth!!..it makes u forget everything and releases endophins(however u spell it) and makes u feel in love!!..bring mi go shopping nxt time when im sad man!!..i ll be even happier if u pay of course..hahaha..

ouch my knee hurts so much now..went to play winning eleven with jiahao and wenjun at x square yest..bang my knee against some metal thing that was sticking out!!..so pissed!!..wat in the world u stick out a metal piece for!?!?..well but winning eleven is fun soooo..saw key ben wai and dan feng there..my new sub-d mate..went breko for cg..and saw central b ppl too!!..we are ur new sub-d partners!!..buy presents for us!!..ahahha..

heard mama saying tt tml we might be going jack's place for family dinner!!..yeah!!!..i love love love jack's place..haven been there for sooo long!!..daddy said wanted to go try this new zi char restaurant somewhere or maybe go dome..i hope we go jack's place..miss the steaks sooo much..hahaha..this is where my new slimming oto belt comes in handy!!..

glasses

i am so freaking full today..how ll i ever be able to lost weight if i go on like this?..went to eat at galilee friends cafe with the class where i had this tomato-based pasta with awful meatballs..meal comes with FREE flow of soft drinks and soup..all of us ate quite a lot and couldnt move..and den..i had stomach pain..muz be because of the my pasta..im the only one who ate the tomato-based one..ahhh!!..

saw this sunglasses that look so much like the one willy wonka has!!..the one he wore when he was in the tv room!!..i tink i look good in it leh..wenjun and ayu said so too!!..its only 15 bucks at le meriden there!!..how ah shld i buy?..shld i shld i?..


this is the specs!!..how ah?..shld i buy!?..i really really really like it leh!!..

went to nicole's house to study..bleah tts bullshit..most of the time i was sleeping from sheer fatique..i dunno how to study for this module anyway..

well anyways..to help mi lose weight..my mom bought the oto trimex slimming belt for the whole family..


well im not sure if it ll work..guess we ll see the results in a few weeks time ba..but at the rate im eating..sighs..ok i ll control my eating in case some llammas call mi itchy mouth again!!..

sighs school has started again this week..i juz cant wake up on time..

the relationship

god gave us one thing tt he prob shldnt haf given to us..he gave us free will..the will to decide all of life's decisions for ourselves..the will to choose which path to take in every single crossroads that appears before us..the will to decide whether we want to follow His will or not..hmmmm..maybe he shldnt haf given us this gift at all..den the world would be one big happy place with everyone as families!!..

budden come to tink of it..if god didnt give us free will..den we would all be juz robots rite?..we would all tink the same..do things the same way..speak the same lauguage..den the world wouldnt be fun anymore would it?..ppl wun be so nice to be with rite?..since everyone is alike?..the world would be juz plain boring den..

so..shld god haf given us free will?..i dunno..but i know tt im sure glad tt he did..because its so much more precious to know tt one has the choice to choose and yet chose to be with him..isnt it great?..at least i know tt i love god because he convicted mi..not because of some other reason..and this also make mi responsible for all my actions too!!..well..i cant say wat god shld or shldnt haf done..because he is the perfect one..and i haf no say at all..god wun allow certain things to happen if there was no reason for it..so..moral of the story is..be positive in ANY situations!!..juz like king david was..

everybody has a choice..so let them be..they can only be 2 outcomes..either they grow or they fall..either they prosper or they live to regret it..we do wat we CAN do..but ultimatly the choice lies with them..it may be sad but theres sumthing tt im reminded of..the fellowship may be strained..but the relationship is still there..i still love u guys..u muz do wat u set out to do..

oh and a little reminder to a special someone..WE ALL HAF A CHOICE!!..dun juz follow blindly..u haf a mind of ur own..use it!!..wats the point of juz following?..u haf to stand up on ur own 2 feet someday!!..u dun haf to rely on someone to make the decisions for u..god gave u free will..use it..ask urself..wat is ur source?..

realised tt the apple is still quite unripe..not yet good for harvesting..but the banana is perfect..well..maybe not perfect..but juz abt the right time for plucking..

cutest kid competition

ok i haf to post these pictures or i ll not be doing them any justice at all..they are all so cute!!



this is llamma's cousin..cute candidate no. 1..



this is my sister..cute candidate no. 2..



this is ruisi's sister..same age as my own sis..cute candidate no. 3..



this is a girl whom my mom took in china..cute candidate no.4..



and this is another boy whom we took in china..cute candidate no. 5..

can u pick a winner?..i cant!!..they are all too cute already..babies are the cutest human beings ever on earth..cuter than even apple or banana..i want a child of my own soon!!..

here is a foto of half of my class during the chalet..the gang who played murderer for like 3 hrs straight..we are mad..but still..i really like my class..hahah..



oh looking at this pic reminded mi of sumthing!!..tt day when adel's bf drove us back from eating wanton mee..there was not much cars on the highway so we sped a little..i was sitting in the front with the window down and he was driving at like 150 km/h..omg it was soo shuang!!..hahah..makes mi wana go driving soon so i can go for a spin..

i mean..this kind of thing cant happen if i sit in my parents car..my dad drive at at most 120 km/h..and tt is already quite rare..so..bring mi go eat bak ku teh nxt time adel!!..hahha..

some more pics that i juz received..




supposed to be candid shot..but..yeah..



having so much fun..



quite sad bout the bbq..the rain ruin everything..look at the smoke rising up..

juz went eyebrow threading with ruisi..pain ah!!..but nice..haha..pain is the price to pay for beauty..

forgiveness

saw this on my tagboard: there is hate because there is love..thank you missy jane..it got mi tinking..

the more u love..the more u hate when tt person does sumthing so unthinkable to u..the more u love someone..the more u hate when tt person betrays ur feelings..the more u love..the more u hate when tt person juz up and leave..the more u love..the more u hate..its so true..u wouldnt hate someone whom u didnt love rite?..

(ok apart from those assholes who do things tt irritate the shit out of everyone den those is u dun love juz hate ones..but this is out of point here)

now the thing is..there is hate because there IS love..or there is hate because there WAS love..can i still bring myself to love?..

someone said: good frens muz give special discount..yeah its true..but the thing is..was i even being treated like a good fren by u in the first place?!..it doesnt seem so..i treat u as a good fren..but u dun..den wats the point?..

juz came back from cg with the gurls..feeling better now..i thank god for them..altho im their cl..there are points in my life when i need them too..times when i need their laughter and their jokes..when i need their company and their smiles..times when all i need is their love..because love is sumthing tt is so hard for mi rite now..god help mi to love again..