i love god

haven blogged for sooo long!!..sorry to keep my fans waiting..i know im missed..hahah..gosh i sound like a particular blogger..yucks..anyways my long absence is due to 2 reasons..1) my exams are approaching so ive been slogging over the com trying in vain to finish my assignment asap and 2) i have been undergoing a period of extreme tiredness and dryness due to an illness that was not properly treated..dun worry im not gonna die..hahah..

so well anyways..lets c wat happened..oh i went kbox on sun!!..with my 3 dearest fren from css..baoyue lily and eileen..i haf the fotos!!..lets post them up..here goes..





















yup here we are having fun and doing many stupid things..haven gone to kbox for so long le..kelvin when are we going!?..i tink tt the kbox at clementi is a good place..they arent many ppl and hence we get to drag our timings..supposed to leave at 7 but we stayed till 8!!..wah..haha..ok nxt meeting soonli plan rite?..time for my bday!!..hahah..oh baoyue ur pressie still here!!..ahhhh..

juz had tuition today..teaching science for this pri 5 kid..sighs i really dun like teching..i feel like im somehow inadequate..well..really wan to put in effort for this..hahah..had a look at the syllabus today..wat in the world is external and internal fertilization?!..can u rmb anything abt pri sch science?..all i can rmb is the angsana tree..hahaha..oh well..

meeting the box tml for dinner at some jap restaurant..haven seen them since i still had long hair..gosh how long is tt!!..hahah..cant wait cant wait..

its surprising how a little each day can add up to a staggering amount someday..like u always tink tts a little..juz a little..and one day..bam!..theres so much..and so overwhelming..tts when u try to clear away some of the stuff..but u find that its no use..theres too much..u feel tired..do u carry on or do u give up?..

its surprising how much u build urself up with and it all comes tumbling down in a few secs..u spend time tinkingabt the principals..u weight out the pros and cons..u take out the bible and look for encouragement..u pray for god to build up ur defences..but when the time comes..all the walls that u built break down..and the enemy attacks..leaving no stone untouched..the enemy doesnt kill u completly..no tts too easy for u..he leaves u clinging onto the last strands of ur life..while offering u a decision..i can leave u here to die slowly or u can join mi..u tink..how can all my time of building these walls be in vain?..maybe, juz maybe..u didnt build the wall with the right foundations..u trusted too much in urself..so wat do u do?..do u struggle to build the walls again or do u take the easier way out?..

its surprising how men always do things that we know we shldnt..keep tt in mind..i said we shldnt..i didnt say we cannot do these things..everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial..and men..due to the temptings of the heart..the wanting to do the forbidden..always choose to things that arent beneficial..men knows y and agree that he shld not do such things..but men refuses to accept the reason and argue that they haf human rights..the free will as they call it..men loves taking control on their own lives..even tho they know tt they haf no way of ruling themselves well..is men stupid or juz plain dumb?..

its surprising how men always make the same mistakes over and over again..the last time u made the mistake..or did sumthing u shldnt haf done..u promised god and u promised urself..never..NEVER ll i do tt again..and u repent furiously..and the nxt time..when the temptation strikes..u fall into the same trap..and after u pick urself up..u repent once more..never ll i do this again!!..this time im sure of it..and once more..u do the same thing..and it gets so frequent..that overtime..u dun wana repent anymore..cos u know tt maybe u ll do it again someday..wats the use of frequently repenting when i keep doing it?!..

god help mi to repent fervently once more..not some slipshot work of saying..dear god i cant believe i did tt again!!..sighs..pls forgive mi..i repent..i dun wan the severity of my sin to fade with each time i sin..i wan to rmb that u judge all sin the same..tt it hurts u..and tt it nails jesus to the cross once more as sacrifice for my sin..thanks for teaching mi thru sermons..u haf done ur part..and i haven done mine..i haven kept my end of the bargain..

but im feeling better now!..its amazing wat a little determination can lead u to..never ll i leave u..never ll i forsake u..dear god..i've heard u say this to mi a million times..now lemme say it back to you..god, never ll i leave you, never ll i forsake u..its never too late to start anew..and im starting from scratch once again..

dear god..i learnt a secret today..i dunno wat to do..i pray..i pray so hard..that u help mi to love..becuase i've no idea how to tread pass these barriers..and only love can do tt..

*im glad u came today*