Emotions

Why do the celebrities make it seem perfectly fine to give into their
emotions, but it's wrong when I do the same?

sighs, I should be a celebrity. I'm suited to be one.

Smile

It's the first time I took up an envelope, saw the return address, and smiled (:

Praying God makes it happen.

未来

We sing "Send me and I will go"

For some reason, I didn't want to sing that today. For God is in the
word. I do want to go, but on afraid that one day I might go back on
these very words which I sing today. And therefore, I didn't sing
these words.

I'm not cynical or skeptical..I just didn't want to go back on my
word. I know God's got something big up His sleeves, and I know I'll
willingly volunteer for some part of it.

Taking the first baby steps. For one day I know these initial steps
will lead me somewhere big.

In His plans, I still trust.

Multiplication

Reading from the book of Kings..it seems like God doesn't give us new
things, rather, He prefers to muliply the little things that were
given to us from the very beginning.

A good note to ponder upon.

Ungracious Christians

I had a fit yesterday talking about ungracious christians. how some
non-christians are better behaved, more gracious, more appreciative
than christians I see around mi.

Talking about being appreciative, I'm still having difficulties
forgiving him.

Back to the topic. Soon afterwards, I realized that who cares if those
christians are bad examples? I'm in no place to judge anyway.

But I can do something to myself. I'll be the christian that aims to
shine better in this world, to show the world that Jesus lives in me.

How much do you love me?

I kinda forgot how it was like when people showed concern for me.

The cg reminded me that concern has to be shown, not kept within the heart and hoping the other party somehow, miraculously figures it out.

Haha, guess some bitterness still lurks within me. Gotta root them out.

Night

Just back from DWCG. How we have all grown, and life seems to be
getting less clearer than before.

Enjoying the night breeze, listening to Oasis.

Wondering where all these will lead me to.

Sullen and angry

reading the bible is like having a bird's eye view of history..when I
read how God gave Ahab victory over Ben-Haded, king of Aram, not once
but twice, I just get the overall picture.

I wonder how Ahab must have felt.

Probably ungrateful and complacent, because he did a detestable thing
by making a treaty with his enemy.

I guess it would probably have been a smart political decision, even
in our time..like how Singapore loves making friends with everyone
else because we are small and somehow need them. But I guess obedience
to God is more important than making strategic political decisions.

it's reflects our pride, thinking that we know better than God.

the funniest thing was, when a prophet rebuked him, he went away
sullen and angry.

I laughed while readin the passage..budden I started to think whether
I was like that too.

Did I become sullen and angry when God rebuked me? Hell yeah.

But at least I repented and still followed in the end, though maybe
grudgingly.

Thank God he doesn't kill me each time I turn sullen and angry haha.

And after awhile, it gets easier to obey, and harder to rebel.

Just enough

The jar with the handful of oil and the handful of flour never ran
out, yet it was never full.

Everyday as the widow sticks her hand in to take some flour and oil, I
guess she must sometimes wonder whether they will run out one day. And
yet day after day, she feeds her whole family n Elijah with that
little that she has.

I guess it's like our daily grace. We'll never run out of grace, yet
God wun fill
us so full of grace that we dun turn to Him. He gives us just enough
so we need to rely on Him everyday.

Eyes

Small eyes are a killer. Hotness :D

Pondering

If I treat everybody the way you treated mi, wouldn't I just become
who you are instead, the person who hurt me deeply, and made me
rethink the value of friendship?

who am I, that I should judge the way you treat your friends. and far
be it from mi, to treat others the way you have treated mi.

may god be the judge and the mediator. for right now, it is too hard
for mi to forgive you.

Meaningless

everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

they advocate that we shld put in efforts into our relationships, and
our friendships..but those who put in more are at the losing
end..because in the end, who really cares?

who dictates which party in the frenship shld be the initiator? why
must only one person be the initiator? why can't the other party
change to take the initiative?

and why issit that my views on friendship always differs from others?
I think, this statement is a convenient excuse for those who do not
want to put in the effort, those who only know how to take but never
thought to give.

they advocate that the caregroup is a place where you can turn to,
where it is home. bu where are the friends when one needs them the most?

words without action are meaningless.

bitterness grows in the heart, and slowly takes over the soul.

if I clamp myself up, maybe there wouldn't be so much expectations,
and there wouldn't be so much hurt.

and when whosoever reads this, i bet they have something fantastic to
say how emotional I am, and how I have to change.

people dictate what they do not know, they judge what they do not see.
why can't the reason be, that I am just lonely?

friendship is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

it all started with one person, and deep within my heart, where the
carnal nature lies, I toy with the hope, that one day, you will pay
dearly for the hurt you have caused upon me.

no one understands, and no one bothers to understand.

Change

There must be more than this. There has to be. Men weren't made to
live mundane lives and think mundane thoughts.

Where is the exciting and fruitful life that Jesus spoke of in the
bible? Where is the adventure which God promised for His children?

I'm gonna find it, one day.