Remember

It's not even been a week and I forgot my application point for the
next 3 months!! better pen it down here and everywhere else so I will
be reminded!

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become
angry"

And the Learning Point of 2010 is:

"Put God first"

now back to the bible.

Bothersome

I remember a quote by Mother Teresa that goes:

"I know God would not give me anything that I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much"

Oh boy, how much do I identify with that right now! Circumstances and the environment around me has been so depressing and negative lately, I feel like the pinnacle of entire-world-destruction symptoms is weighing down on my shoulders..In preparation for this, I stock up an entire arsenal of joyfulness and happyness within me, which I keep filled up every morning through reading the bible, praying to God, watching hilarious variety shows on my iPhone (best technology ever invented, serious), and reading uplifting christian books. Oh, and hearing FT Island songs on my iPod.

But the minute I step into this lair, it feels like I've stepped into the arena to battle off Satan's endless, mindless midgets. It's like playing the last stage of Moo Moo you know, or TD. No matter how many you kill, they just never seem to stop..every morning I thought my arsenal is adequately filled, but its been emptying faster and faster with each passing day..gosh, its tiring. Right now I even got to take lunch time to reload for the 2nd battle after lunch.

God, not that I want to doubt, but, are You sure that I am that great? Cos I seriously don't think so. I think You give me more credit than I deserve.

Bothersome to be a Christian at times. Every single time I want to do something that is not quite right, I feel unease. But what can I do? This is the path I have chosen, and I will stick to it until the day I die.

It's funny how I never seem to be so sure of anything in my life except this one thing - No matter how tough it gets, I will never stop trying to be the best Child of God I can possibly be.

Kinda masochistic isn't it?

Take today for example, I was all set to go do something to get out of this deceiving labyrinth but was reminded by some 'friend' to check my motives before doing it. I HATE IT! HATE having to check my motives every single time because when I do that, I KNOW I would end up NOT doing what I had initially wanted to do.

Some 'friend' that is. Thanks for making sure I never run out of God's Will. One of my truest friends ever. One day when all these nonsense has passed, I suppose I would thank you.

So, sulking and whining about how unfair this whole entire deal is, I decided to take the suicidal step by reading the bible. How dumb. Reading the bible will just convict me of my wrong motives and turn me to doing the right thing.

And here it goes, the Word of Life:

"Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" (that done in the body by the hands of men)— remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ."

AND

"And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit."

Reminder point:

God died for me, I am no longer the sinful person I was. And I should be working to build myself into a holy temple where God can reside in. Doing things that are borne our of a wrong motive is not a good step if I want to be a holy temple.

Sighs.

God, I can't bear to disappoint You. So, here it goes...... I must do my best in all circumstances, even shitty ones.

I just want Him to be happy with what I'm doing.

Any friends wanna help fill up my arsenal?

Psalms 1

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Or stand in the way of sinners,
Or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on this law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree planted by stremans of water,
which yields it's fruit in season and whose leaves do not wither.
Everything he does prospers

Not so with the wicked!
They are like chaff that the wind blows away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

I must rmb..as long as I'm walking in the right way before God, I am
fine. He watches over my every step. And He knows my heart.

BOO!

It's been so long since I last blogged!!

Have been learning so many things recently, both good and bad, such that I've really been overwhelmed and I just couldn't find the time, nor the inspiration to blog. But I must not give up on blogging, because I realise that this is one platform that helps me to think, to reflect on my life, and helps me to get my random thoughts in order.

You know what, recently I've come to some sort of conclusion - we can never really know how God views us, or our future. What we see right now is only a tiny snippet of what our life really is..like a strand of thread woven into a piece of fabric..until the entire process is finished, can we see how every single strand was carefully thought of and placed in an exact spot to unravel a beautiful piece of fabric..no one, or rather very few, analyses the single strands of treads in a fabric..they see the entire piece and call it 'beautiful'..

so it is with our present..every minute, every hour, every occurrence is like a strand of thread being carefully planned and woven into its place, such that when the weaver has finished His work, we would be called 'beautiful finish'.

as I went out to work, it somehow feels like the hundreds of strands that were woven in the past were suddenly falling apart..I felt confused, afraid, dubious of the future, and even doubtful that God was looking out for me as He promised..for the first time in my life, I actually came close to being angry with God..I never thought I would come to that stage because previously, I couldn't bring myself to get pissed off with God as I knew He is always right..but the stresses of staying on in my unfavourable working environment, hoping for things that I really see no future in, restraining emotions that I had kept under tight rein have really taken a huge toil on me..I didn't know why God can bear to put me through all these..and I got pissed, for a little while..

But now maybe I got it figured out..maybe the hundreds of strands that were woven in the past, somehow, somewhere, a tiny mistake was made because of my own unwise decisions..and now the weaver, who sees everything, is slowly picking apart the other strands to 'unmake' that mistake, and piece the fabric back again later..

The process of being picked apart made me learn many things than the process of being woven quickly.

But that's most impt isn't it? I learnt :)

Melts

I love this song, and the way it was brought across.