BOO!

It's been so long since I last blogged!!

Have been learning so many things recently, both good and bad, such that I've really been overwhelmed and I just couldn't find the time, nor the inspiration to blog. But I must not give up on blogging, because I realise that this is one platform that helps me to think, to reflect on my life, and helps me to get my random thoughts in order.

You know what, recently I've come to some sort of conclusion - we can never really know how God views us, or our future. What we see right now is only a tiny snippet of what our life really is..like a strand of thread woven into a piece of fabric..until the entire process is finished, can we see how every single strand was carefully thought of and placed in an exact spot to unravel a beautiful piece of fabric..no one, or rather very few, analyses the single strands of treads in a fabric..they see the entire piece and call it 'beautiful'..

so it is with our present..every minute, every hour, every occurrence is like a strand of thread being carefully planned and woven into its place, such that when the weaver has finished His work, we would be called 'beautiful finish'.

as I went out to work, it somehow feels like the hundreds of strands that were woven in the past were suddenly falling apart..I felt confused, afraid, dubious of the future, and even doubtful that God was looking out for me as He promised..for the first time in my life, I actually came close to being angry with God..I never thought I would come to that stage because previously, I couldn't bring myself to get pissed off with God as I knew He is always right..but the stresses of staying on in my unfavourable working environment, hoping for things that I really see no future in, restraining emotions that I had kept under tight rein have really taken a huge toil on me..I didn't know why God can bear to put me through all these..and I got pissed, for a little while..

But now maybe I got it figured out..maybe the hundreds of strands that were woven in the past, somehow, somewhere, a tiny mistake was made because of my own unwise decisions..and now the weaver, who sees everything, is slowly picking apart the other strands to 'unmake' that mistake, and piece the fabric back again later..

The process of being picked apart made me learn many things than the process of being woven quickly.

But that's most impt isn't it? I learnt :)