A Concoction Of Emotions

As I reflect on my life, I find that my most memorable times would be spent with people whom I really enjoy..as I walked along life's journey, I met many different kinds of people..some stayed and journeyed with me on this walk of life, while others walked with me for a while, and then they left..

At 23 years of age, I've somehow come to realise how helpless I really am..how I've thought myself big enough to maybe play a part in evoking a change of heart in another human being..but at the end of it all, the joke's on me..because a human being can never ever change another human being..at the bottom line, it is God, and only God, who truly saves and changes..

Growing up is such a tough process..as I met up with him and them whom I really love..I cant help but feel that I should let you go, yet I'm afraid of what would happen if I'm not there to be a shoulder that you can lean on in times where you should fail..but as I discussed with a particular friend one day, I think everyone might, in some point of their lives or another, need to fail more so that we can truly experience the grace and mercy of God..but depending on one's stubborness to accept our fragility, the intensity of the consequences of failing might in the end, be too hard for the person to bear..

Sometimes, maybe due to my personality, I feel that I can play a part in softening the impact of failure..I notice my innate need to feel a sense of control over a person's life..but as life slowly plays on..I've come to realise how things I've thought I had built up, or things I thought I had in control, are slowly breaking down, and I can do nothing about it..maybe this is God's way of training me, and showing me that He is ultimately the one in control..

I know I should move on, and God is in control, but yet at times of reflection, I am surprised to find my vision blurring and my cheeks wet even though I know that I can never bring back the past..sighs, emotions are such messy things..