Who Am I

it's really weird how I have more of an identity crisis as I grow older.

somehow it seems that I had a clearer picture of who I am and what were my goals when I was still in school..when things were so much simpler.

at 12 years of age, my future was to get into the secondary school of my choice.

at 16 years of age, my future was to get into a junior college.

at 18 years of age, my future was to get into university.

at 23 years of age, my future is a big wad of fuzz wuzz and whenever I decipher a little portion of that mess, I second guess myself and everything just becomes fuzz again.

maybe that's it - I second guess myselfand get insecure about my strengths too much.

I second guess my closest frens' affirmation, my perceived talent for drama and hosting, my career path, my initial desire to serve in Adults, whether I will ever become the woman God wants me to be etc etc. it seems like I used to have plans, and things have totally changed - I seem to be able to only live in the now.

when I convince myself that I'm thinking too much into things, I rmb not to ignore these concerns as they might be from god. but when I decide to act upon my concern, it seems like I'm tinking too much.

sighs.

u see Lord, my life would be a complete mess if u weren't around. because in this mess of uncertainty, u r the beacon of stability that calls out to me. without you, I would be swept away in the concerns of myself.

with You around, i can confidently force my eyes to turn away from the insecure me and onto You.

as I take one small step at a time, let mi be confident that you r holding onto my right hand. ur presence is enough.