human beings

i tink human beings are really complicated creatures, or maybe its juz mi..hahah i tink im really complicated and one part of mi dun seem to agree with another part of mi..i tink this is the part where christians say that god comes into ur life to change you..when u are in conflict with urself cos u know u shldnt be doing something when u really wan to do that something..or maybe u are doing something which u really dun feel like but u know its the right thing..

i dun tink i really know myself that well after all..which is quite a scary thing cos if i myself dun know myself that well, den who knows mi?..now thats a good question and prob god does know mi..if only he would juz reveal myself to mi u know wat i mean..and save mi the trouble of going thru self-discovery and learning some not very likable things abt myself..but maybe this is his method of making mi stronger than who i will be if he juz revealed himself to mi..

like u know if a caterpillar comes out of the coccoon and u help it by cutting away the coccoon so that it ll haf an easier time, den it will come out one fat puny thing that doesnt resemble any insect at all..cos it needs to go thru that horribly painful process to squeeze all its juice thing to its wings..so like if god juz revealed myself to myself..den i ll prob end up some tiny puny thing which isnt in its full glory..but yeah, the process really is, hmmm tiring..

hmmm i tink that butterfly doesnt really like that process either..it muz be tinking..crap man this is painful!! argh when will it ever end..y do i haf to go thru this anyway? hmm shld i juz give up and stay inside my nice warm coccon?..maybe the butterfly isnt programmed to feel anything like this..myabe its programmed to juz haf one thought in mind..juz push juz push juz push..maybe, who knows rite..

but i shld like to tink that it did thought of giving up quite a few times..haha but im glad that it didnt, or else there wouldnt be butterflies ard to pollunate flowers and beautify the environment (tho in actual fact im terrified of all insects)..maybe im supposed to be a butterfly too..oh butterfly juz reminded mi of a person lol..random thoughts aside..maybe i shld juz programmed myself to be like the butterfly..juz do it juz do it juz do it, tml ll be a better day..

in the process of self-discovery, and being quite snappy abt it too cos i dun really like it..so do bear with mi, for now..

i feel like playing, it keeps mi away from mi..