The Year Ahead

I am kinda excited for the year 2010. 2009 didn't start out really well, and I spent the major part of 2009 in quite a depressed and suffocated fashion. But the good thing of being Jinqi is that, after moving on, I really can't remember how sad, how down, how broken or how depressed I was.

I remember a tinge of all those depressing emotions, but I can't remember the full extent of it anymore. It's a good thing perhaps., because if I carry the scars of life, I would never be able to move on properly and enjoy the small little blessings that come along :)

Funny though, that although the mind has forgotten the negative feelings, the body doesn't forget just as fast. I dun feel anything anymore, but somehow my body still reacts as though I do. It's kinda like an instinctive thing, a habit maybe. Some things have become a habit, and I need to slowly undo these actions.

To compliment myself a little, I am somewhat proud of myself in 2009. I'm proud that I stayed true to my very core beliefs, I'm proud that I didn't push the blame to others, I'm proud that I didn't lie to everyone and pretended that I'm ok, I'm proud that I pulled through the shitty times being totally real and myself.

I'm proud to be Jinqi :)

Though I've found out how totally cui my real self was, I've also delved a little bit more into understand how totally wonderful God is. Because I like that statement, I shall repeat it again.

I Have Found Out A Little Bit More About How Wonderful God Is.

And I pray, I will never let anything come into my life and separate me from the love of God again.

2010 seems exciting. I wonder what is in store for me :) First up, I need to reconcile with a friend. You know who you are!