hard but i haf to do it

its been a long, long week with a lot a lot of happenings that are not contributing anything to my spiritual development at all..hmmmm wait..maybe it does contribute..makes mi more aware of myself and how much i actually still haf to grow..its only 7 days but it felt like months..and all before camp too!!..

absolute obedience and absolute accountability..someting that god has drilled to mi every single day of the week and of which im still trying really hard to apply..i tink rite, as u stay longer in christ, ur tests become harder and harder..and u start to fail more..becos now god is starting to get into ur heart area, starting to invade ur personal space, tugging u out of ur comfort zone and ever so slowly but surely placing his seal over every inch of ur soul..

and of course, we dun like it..like for example for 20 years of my life ive loved drinking milo and now, someone juz comes in and tell u that hey gurl, stop drinking milo and drink water instead..and u ask y?..and he says, juz do it its good for ur health..and u ask again..er, i dun understand, milo not good for my health meh?..and he says yeah its not good, stop drinking it..i bet ur reaction would be..huh?u siao ah. y is it not good? ok wat!..and den he comes in and says..look, milo is not good. i know y its not good and i mean u no harm. trust mi. are u willing to give it up? there is something much better for u..

argh!!!!..something that u like and haf been made into a lifestyle and now god tells u to GIVE IT UP!!..i know that i shld and i know tt i would..but im like trying to prolong tt decision..and in the process rite, i lose out on so so much..sighs if only i had made that decision in the first place AND stick to it..den things would be so much easier and peaceful..but now that i finally got the head knowledge to heart knowledge (well at least i hope i did)..now smile!!..

i got this random thought yest..every action has a consequence, it juz depends whether theres a heveanly reward..