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hello im back to blogging..the previous post wasnt from mi..haha..

a lot of things haf been happening in my life and all i know is that i disappointed god..being unrepentant is a horrible feeling..it numbs all ur senses and u cant feel god anymore..u haf eyes but cant see, u haf ears but cant hear..that's the scary thing..cos aft u haf experienced god speaking at such an intimate level with you and one day u realise tt u cant hear from this voice that has become somewhat of a norm..trust mi, u ll freak out..

and if u dun persevere on to juz cling on to that stubborn hope of wanting to hear that oh-so-wonderful voice again..den u are letting urself drift away..and one day u ll drift so far tt u start to tink whether its worth it to turn back..it takes more effort to keep banging against the wall den to juz stop and let the wall engulf you..thats how many ppl backslide i guess..cos they dun wana use effort to get back to when they could easily hear from god..they try once twice thrice and maybe they failed..so they dun wana try anymore..

but i dun care..i wana try and try and try till i can hear from god once again..i WUN EVER give up..i wana be like jacob, not letting go of god till god has blessed him..

when u quarrel with ur best fren, ll u feel awakard when u see him aft ur quarrel?..even tho u might haf settled everything already and come to a solution..you ll still feel weird rite?..cos the relationship was strained and it takes time for it to heal and be back to normal..but aft that u know that the relationship isnt as normal as it was before cos u know that the 2 of u haf been thru some arguments in ur life and now..theres greater understanding of one another and this enhances and strengthens the frenship..and den, the both of u are going along happily till u reach the nxt quarrel..and aft pulling thru tt ur relationship gets even better..im sure u been thru that before rite?..haha..

so its the same with god..im not giving up this frenship..im holding on to it..there was a choice to make and i made it..god is more impt than anything in my life..if i cant hear from him, den i can do absolutely nothing..and that, is more scary than anything one can face in life..