entertaining myself

its 8.43pm on good friday and can u believe that virtually NO ONE is online?!..my besties category says 0/3, central b category says 0/34, hope category says 9/30 and ALL are away, juz frens category says 8/28 and most are away and those who are not away i dun usually tok to them and ocu category says 3/15..and im like the only person at home and ACTIVELY online!!..wats happening to the world?!..or is it mi?..im home wayy too early i guess..crap its good friday and im at home!!..i shld be out there spreading god's love manz!!..except that my parents want mi home and now they are out of the house dunno doing wat..leaving mi and my trusty blog to keep mi company..i guess..i really shld go tok to god..cos he made everyone offline so that i would go tok to him..but i keep pushing him away..alright after this..i shall go spend quality time with my daddy..

oh wells..lemme blog down some interesting things that i haf learnt or found during the week..or interesting things that happened which i wan to thank god for..

1) hope bangkok brothers coming to visit my cg!!..they are really funny..they brighten up my day..and can u believe it?..one of them actually realised i was sick only after 2 days of toking!!..and like most of my other frens dun even know after toking to mi for days at an end!!..i felt so loved when he asked mi whether i was sick..it made mi feel that ppl actually do notice mi after all..

2) i realised that mark is a real funny person to tok to on msn..he's real witty..i like toking to him when im sad..but still, the only person who can really make mi take my mind off ALL problems and trouble is still my brother..guess, no one can beat him..after living with him for 18 years, he really knows mi best..

3) i met dan today!!..he gave mi this blossom badge becos mi elise and winnie are daniel's powerpuff gurls..spastic..but i dunno where to pin it up so..still tinking..i like my dmm a lot..a lot a lot a lot..

4) shepherded daixuan today and i tink that by itself..is a great blessing and joy..

5) i realise that i miss jiemin and xiangyu a lot a lot..i haven seen jiemin for 1 week and i feel so..weird..talked to her yest and i feel great joy..and she's getting mi my shirt!!..haha..i haven been toking much to xiangyu..was tinking of my whole walk with her..and i tink god likes mi a lot becos he gave mi her..xiangyu is my greatest pillar of support in my whole journey from a CL to a UL..i know i can get the most honest feedback from her..i pray that god takes care of her..heh..

6) i tink that god has really changed mi..becos now that fills my whole head is juz central b jc grp..i tink of nothing else except them..everything i do, things that im reading up on, books tt i buy..are all for them..since when haf i become so others-centred?..im not saying im perfect budden..my joy and grief is linked to the grp..if the ppl rejoices so do i..if they get discouraged or i find that they are not growing according to how they shld..i feel grief..i fret and worry for them..i set visions for them all..i see them doing so much more than they are..i get angry and dis-satisfied on their behalf when all their hardwork brings in naught..i tink and ponder on how i can help them get onto an exciting journey with god..i pray for god to help mi bring them closer to him..im becoming like a mother..*shocked gasp*..

7) im finding more abt myself..and how selfish i actually am..i tink so much of the grp..yet sometimes, i wan more time for myself..i wan to find enjoyment in ways that i know are wrong..i wan to do things that ll feed my carnial nature..i wan to satisfy wat the devil approves..yet something still pulls mi back..and im thankful that i listen to the holy spirit, tho sometimes grudgingly..i know sometimes i feel empty when obeying..yet i hang onto the fact that somehow someway, god ll reward mi with something so much more fulfilling than wat i can do myself..

8) if i could adopt anyone..i would adopt choonmin to be my little sister..and im serious abt that..

9) i figure out that i am really thankful to god about my class in mdis..guess it wasnt a punishment for not studying hard for my As..god juz gave mi something even better than a local uni..

10) some taxi drivers are really irritating..they tok a lot abt their lives, and who they ferry..and i found out that they all haf really cynical views on people and life..i tink they shld come to know god really soon..

11) i thank god for my fellow UL..and for samuel cheng..i hope u get a good rest samuel..and thanks for encouraging mi..

12) toking to ting ting today was a great blessing..i learnt abt street evax..i really wan to go try it out..im so so desperate..argh!!..

13) i realise that frens cannot be there 24/7..still, god is the only person who can do that..even my closest frens werent there for mi..i felt so lost in nexus today..the quietness enveloped mi..i realise that i had no where to go..even the most secure person has times of insecurity..i guess, god fills up every need within mi..he wans mi to go to him..

14) taylen says i haf high order tinking ability..haha this is new..cos i alwasy tot i was lazy..i shld go tink abt that soon..

15) i realise that..its diff to get out of sin..even at this point in time..i really wan things that shldnt change to change..

16) good frens like claire puay elise xinyi are hard to come by..how can one not trust in frens?..

17) i look up to my shepherd a lot..maybe, god does favour mi after all..