late late late

gosh i haven blogged for sooo long..days past by like a flash and time doesnt wait for you at all..been wanting to blog since like 5 days ago?..boy am i lazy..

anyways..nicole went back to hong kong today le!!..so sad!!..its so sudden..so w/o warning tt it totally shocked every single one of us..yesterday we had a farewell party for her..a bittersweet parting if i may put it in such words..i totally love you gurl..you ll remain my SB for life and after life too..hehhe..remain strong in god k..rmb everything happens for a reason and do ur best there in hk..you know tt god ll be watching out for you so you dun need to haf any worries at all..juz believe and haf faith..i miss you already!!..sorry i couldnt go to send you off today!!..you muz come back singapore k or i ll go to hk and scold you manz..heh..

wellz today is also the day tt my maid went back to indo for 3 weeks..so i haf to be a housewife for 3 weeks..damn!!..i hate this leh!!..tt means aft my work i haf to go home immd to fetch my sis from her school..ok this worries mi a bit cos im thinking of how to haf shepherding and cg..sighs sighs..muz discuss this with shuyi..

ok from here on ll be some random rumblings so if you want to like switch off..its totally fine with mi..

i juz went for the spring care leaders refresher camp durin the weekends..was supposed to be a 2 day 1 night stay but as usual..i cant stay cos of my parents..crap..and i didnt even went for the 2nd day la..i was sick!!..and really cranky..being sick totally sucks..and guess wats greater!?..my mom chose to use this day(when im really sick and cranky) to come to mi with one of her urm.."open-hearted" toks..great choice mom..she always does tt!!..and all this toks is only she toking anyway..like i nvr get to say anything!?..so i decided to ignore her and guys..this is not a good way to treat ur parents..she juz kept going on and on and on and i wanted to scream at her tt its my life and you shld juz stay away!!..im nineteen already for god's sake!!..but thank god i didnt do tt..in the past i would haf done tt but nah..not now..i was so pissed off after she finished tt i locked myself in my room and screamed..damn sumtimes i really hate my parents!!..like seriously hate them!!..AHHHHH..i juz pray tt they become christians soon so that my horrible lifestyle ll end!!..so you see..i had a super bad day today..

god you always tell mi to haf patience with them..to look at them thru ur eyes..tt they are my parents..authority over mi tt you haf given to mi..and tt if i persevere..they ll be saved too..but god..its juz so damn difficult!!!..you know..their reasons totally make no sense to mi..i tink it makes no sense to themselves as well..lemme give you an eg ok..they say tt they give mi all their blessings to go to church and all the camps and workshops and stuff..but tt i juz cant stay overnight..so i ask them y..and they say because we are ur parents..den unable to hold it anymore..i told her..im sure you urself dunno the reason y..does it make even the slightest bit of sense?!.NO!!..how how how?..how to haf patience with them?..jesus from this i realised tt you are really really great..i cant believe tt you tolerated all those midgits who made fun of you and crucified you..how did you do it?!..amazing!!..

anyways i haf come to a realisation tt i ll not keep quiet bout god anymore..like i used to keep silent when my parents or close frens ask mi bout church stuff..but i tink tt by like not saying anything makes them tink tt i do not know anything bout my life and tt i juz go there for fun..nah nah..i dun juz go there for fun..i know who i am now..i know wats my purpose in life and i chose this purpose..so i ll do it and speak aloud..i dun wan ppl to tink tt i dunno anything bout my life or tt cos im still a teenager so im very blur and hence was easily influenced to go to church..no way man..i found my identity..and my life is meaningful now..and i ll say tt..no more keeping quiet le..hmmmm..this is gonna be scary but..come on god is with mi!!..no fear!!..heh..

guys(as in like the opposite gender) are really weird..they can be good frens one min and the nxt..they totally ignore you..huh!?!?..you nvr know wat they are tinking!!..at first they appear normal..as usual..their individual character..but when sumthing else happens they switch off..strange strange strange!!..i nvr ll know wat they are tinking!!..tts y guys + girls can nvr be really good frens..oh well..it may be possible if the guy is a lil girly..wahahhah..

im really sick now..my nose is like a tap tt is spoilt!!..it doesnt stop dripping!!..crap!!..and i feel like sneezing the whole time!!.how am i supposed to go to work!?..i wana take mc!!!..and my eyes keep tearing cos of this flu..and i got a bad sore throat!!..its pain and rough at the same time..and when i haf sore throat..it means tt im in danger of having asthma as well!!..AHHH..help!!..this seriously sux!!..

gosh i hope i can go for jb camp..pls god pls!!..let my parents allow mi to go!!..i wana go for camp!!..its fun and where ppl get refreshed!!..and i paid already!!..pls lemme go!!..

ok i cant tink of anything else to say..and i haven blogged bout the time i went pulau ubin!!..read the nxt entry for tt bit..byez!!