It gets harder

I know what I should do, but I do not do what I know I ought to do.

Ancient words, modern truth.
Faded text, printed sight.
Oh the irony, who wins?

Boys will be boys,
and girls will be girls.
Why is there no in between?

The heart longs for what it knows it cannot get,
for he fools those who hasn’t seen the light.

The craving from down below,
stilled by the thoughts above.

It is an ancient battle,
but He gives strength for those who endeavour.

May I prevail, so hopes my soul.
May Your kingdom come, before I fail.

So sings my soul, so sings my soul.

His cologne

It’s been so long.
Physically taken, but the heart longs for more.

Today, I smell his cologne upon me.
Thinking about whether I could, knowing I shouldn’t.

It’s been so long.
A guy, but not my guy.
His scent, my trap.

My trap, but I prevail.
Not today Satan, not today.

Walking Dead

Pain so blinding.
Despair so alluring.
Sadness so suffocating.
Hope so eluding.
Darkness too welcoming.

A step laced with fear,
A foot covered in prayer.
There is no foothold,
No compulsion for that next hour.

The end seems near, and I'm stuck in it. I just want this to end.

Near the entrance..

I saw them two seconds before my eyes found him..and as usual, he
looks stunning (:

When God gives visions about you

Oh unripe apple, you who look so fine while hanging on high.

swaying right in front of my eyes, gracing my fingertips, twinkling
with your glossy shine.

I could just reach out and grab you, so within my grasp are you.

but I know once I've taken a bite, you'll show me right. you with a
sweet facade hides a sour thine behind.

oh unripe apple, nestling in the tree's glorious hide. I'll wait a
little while more, and only grab you when the time proves right.

Secrets

Have you wanted something so badly that you constantly think about it and plead with God to make it happen?

A vow made, I didn't keep my end of the bargain. I know I do not have any more rights to ask for more, but hoping beyond hope that He will forgive me and find delight in my desires, for it is hopefully, finally pure.

With a clearer mind, a new promise made. Help me Father, for You know I am weak, but You are strong.

Ever Changing

Watched Freud's Last Session yesterday and I was struck by the last
few sentences Lewis uttered.

My idea of him, of God, keeps changing. He breaks it again and again.
You thought you come to a conclusion, yet He breaks it again and
brings you somewhere else.

That's what I feel God. I thought I knew, but it seems like I didn't know.

When will I know You completely Lord? For I'm so tired and desperate.
Hide yourself no longer from me, surround me with your presence Lord.