Anew

have been really sick thru the weekends and i still dun feel too good..didnt go to work today and i had a lot of time to spend at home..staying at home with nothing to do is absolutely boring and i am somewhat looking forward to go work tml..

however, leave a thinker alone with so much time on her hands just makes her think even more..spent some quality time with god today, and i kinda felt like maybe me and him needs to, no rather, i need to work on bridging my relationship with god harder..i am just not satisfied with my spiritual life cos i know that there is something more out there..

i want to know god more intimately.

saying it out loud really makes it kinda weird haha..boy, i sure do pray hard that the big guy up there hears my heartcry to want to know him..ok im going to sound all cliche here but its my blog and i hope you will be blessed after reading my rants :)

somehow, when you know that you really know god, even if just a little bit..the sensation of knowing that you are even that bit close to God is this indescribable, soul-satisfying, mystical joy that stems out from the heart and spreads to every single cell in your body..this everlasting spring that bubbles and overflows and the best part is, it never ends.

its so addictive, so intriguing, so everlasting that once you have tasted it, you just want more..and you cannot get enough of it..and the only way to get even more of it is to work on relating with God and somehow weaving your life into his plans..its like, he's the big tree and im the meandering vine..the tree doesnt owe the vine anything, but it lets the vine twirl around him, circle his big trusty trunk so that the vine is supported and hence able to get the necessities to survive..if that vine doesnt have that tree, man, the vine is screwed up..

and u know, sometimes when you sin, you get a little bit further away from god..and you know it because somehow, you can feel that the spring in your heart has somehow seem to die off a little..and i cannot do without that spring..i need it..man, if i need to wrap my life around something, i would much rather choose to wrap it around a trunk that wun just suddenly die on me..and God is the only constant in this changing world..whose other trunk is as sturdy as his?

i cannot find a beginning to share with you how much i have been blessed after coming to know jesus..i look back and am amazed at how much i have grown as a person..i dunno why god chose me, but i am so so favoured and blessed..my family,my school, my friends, my church, my job, my caregroup, my sheeps, my leaders, my life, has been the most fulfilling and perfect life that i have ever known..

i have experienced joy, laughter, hurts, sadness, anger, patience, grace, love, success, failure, rejection, acceptance etc etc, and im still here! im still flourishing and i still got my great big god holding my back..telling me every single day that he loves me..man, what more can a gurl ask for?

damn, how i yearn to share to you really just how absolutely perfect god is..and i want more of it..maintaining a relationship is hard work, and its the same with my wonderful Almighty :) i haven been really opening up my life to him, and i want to start soon..i wana live my life with him, that thought alone gives me the strength to face another day..jinqi needs a revamp in her life..

dear God, i cannot wait to know more of you :))