hatred

i let my mind wander off for a while..maybe i was too exhausted and let those reigns go for just a little moment..

i tot of him, and i tot of her..and it was frightening how much i hated the both of them..i got afraid of the intensity of my feelings, and i was left wondering whether this is the real me..it shocked me to learn how fast scenes of revenge can squeeze themselves into my mind, and i have no doubt that if i were ever to enact one of those scenes out, i would totally relish it..

and so i picked up those reigns once again..and i made sure that i held them real tight..and i tot of him..how he can love them after they have hurt others so much..maybe, i should show her more love..

its still a struggle to love him, how do i love her?

my lord, my shepherd and provider, please help me.

many told me to keep my options open, matthew 6:33 came up once again..michael recited ecc 3:11a to me..dear lord, i know u are trying to tell me something.