My One Desire

I tot Pastor Simon Eng's sermon today was really refreshing :)

When you lose God, you have lost everything.

It's been a really difficult time of humbling and pruning for me..I can't really remember being so down, insecure and humbled before in my life..or maybe that's because my short term memory doesnt allow me to remember such stuff for a long time haha..

It's rather scary how the things I thought were true, turned out to be untrue..and things that I once thought myself to be good at, I now realise I might not be that good after all..people are all growing up, and there are so many paths that seem to lead to somewhere turned out leading to nowhere..even the very words I speak, or the very essence of how I was created have undergone so much scrutiny, so many beatings, so many questionings that I now do doubt whether I am really what I thought myself to be..

Things that seem right, end up wrong..and things that seem wrong, end up right..like the very words I am blogging right now, will undergo much scrutiny from everyone out there, and there will be many opinions of whether I am right, or wise, or wrong to say such stuff and whether I should even be writing out such words on my own blog..

Maybe if we all didn't tink so much, the world will be a much simpler and happier place.

Like at this instant, as I am blogging this, I feel absolutely, nothing..in fact, the dominant thought in my mind right now is that I want to sleep soon..but how many of you will start to feel something on my behalf?

I don't seek to impress anyone, neither do I seek to console anyone..much less counsel anyone right now..this time of pruning has opened my eyes to many many flaws of myself..and many many areas I can definitely improve in..

But one thing I am very much certain of as I go through this humbling period..the only one thing I desire so strongly with every cell in my body..is this:

I just want to be where God is. And no matter how painful, I still just want to be where God is.

That is my motivation.