Stop.Turn.Walk

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

wat?!

taken from the straits times forum page..

" However, Miss Ang is speaking from the point of view of a teenager, for whom other activities are more important than the rest or spending time with parents. I doubt, at 18, if she remembers how she felt waking up early when she was seven. For a primary-school child, rest and time with parents are very important."

OH PLEASE!!!..who can ever forget the feeling of waking up early for school?!..whos this woman?..we experience the EXACT same feeling thruout our like 18 years of life im public schooling!!..no wait..in fact..i believe the intensity of such a feeling grows greater as we age!!..cos imagine waking up at 630am everyday for 18 years!!!..u ll grow mad!!!..NO ONE can ever forget the tragic feeling of waking up early..whether he/she is at 7 or 17 years of age!..

hmmm..on to other things now..i seem to be at a loss of wat to say ever since shirls told us that we shld use our blog for more meaningful purposes..but the inspiration hasnt struck mi yet..one thing that i do know..is that i cant slack anymore..

Saturday, January 28, 2006

cny

lunar new year's eve..preparing for tuan yuan fan later..steamboat yum yum!!..cant wait..ahahaah..

had to miss half of sermon yest to go for job briefing..bleah nothing else to say..

maybe i ll haf the inspiration to write later on..dota beckons..hahha..

Friday, January 27, 2006

dota

haven been updating cos haf been busy reformatting my stupid com and playing dota!!..now that all of us haf dota at home..we dun haf to go to LAN shops anymore and waste money!!..we can all play at home!!..yeah!!..hahahha..my stupid com dunno y cant reformat..its bringing mi a whole lot of trouble..i cant even on it now..using my bro's com..sighs..haf to call microsoft tml..

well lets see wat i haf been doing..went out with claire on tues to shop shop shop!!..didnt really buy anything cos im horribly broke..gosh the ban mian at food republic is nice!!!..u shld go try it one day..the mian is soft and really hand-made..yum yum..hahah..

shared a lot of stuff abt church, life, blessings and struggles..its reliving in a way to know that u are not the only person in this mad race for god..altho there are ppl who disappoint u but there are more ppl who makes u feel like everything is worth it..ppl who make u see in ur down periods that god is really really there..and not juz an illusion..refreshing!!..hahha..

quarrelled with parents again..having kinda like a cold war going on..not really cold war cos we are still on toking terms..sighs dunno la..this time..im really giving up on toking to them anymore..ive tried so hard..they keep changing their expectations..one minute they wan u to tok to them..another minute they say that children are not supposed to tok..so wat do u expect mi to do?..when i dun tok u encourage mi, saying that parents and their kids shld tok things out..but when i do tok, u say that im not giving u respect and that i shld hear them cos they are my parents..u dunno how hurting ur words ah..so..i give up..i shall take the easier route and not tok to u..cos den, we wouldnt haf any quarrels at all..i pray so much that god would change my mind..that he would give mi the strength to tok to u two once again..becos thats the only way to show u how much i care yearn to understand you two..i pray so hard..for now, im juz really tired to say anything else..u can haf ur daughter back, the way that u wan her..

ok lets move on to something interesting!!..lemme recount my incident of playing dota with key, jarvin, leon and dan..mi dan and leon on one team while key and jarvin on the other..the interesting fact was..i kept getting killed and i was so sad and pek cek at the end of the game that i started to tear!!..den wenjun had to choose this time to call mi and tok to mi abt dota the next day..and i was like..wenjun im dying like mad!!..y u nvr teach mi properly one?!..and i teared even more..hahah..im positive that i scared leon and jarvin so much that they would nvr wan to play with mi again..hahahaha..come to tink of it..its hilarious!!..

realise ive been slacking a fair bit for quite sometime..but some news i heard jolted mi up..i dun haf much time left..hahah i know u know wat i mean..

Monday, January 23, 2006

almost forgot

oh before i forget..today's food for thought..

conveying unconditioned positive regard to others involve the following:
1) genuineness (being open and honest)
2) warmth (being caring and nurturing)
3) empathy (accurately identifying what the person is thinking and feeling)

true?..i got this from my psychology textbook..tink it applies a lot to mi..
was watching a drama which kai lent mi..co-production btw taiwan and kroea..he said it was super nice and that he teared a bit while watching it..after i heard that i know that it was gonna be a sad sad drama and i would surely cry..remembering my previous encounters with such dramas, i really didnt wana watch..but as kai lent mi..juz watch lor..

its called scent of love and it was released in 2003..that was quite some time ago.the plot was quite predictable from the start..put taiwan and korea producers together and wat do u get?..a super draggy sappy and heart-wrenching drama which drives u nuts!..no exception la..there was one part where my prediction went wrong and i really shed tears there..caught mi totally unprepared..i didnt expect her to really commit suicide!!..so anyways..

the lead actor is a cute guy!!!..i knew he acted before in ai qing bai pi shu..but i didnt take much notice of him..its only while watching scent of love that i tink he's really cute!!..my new eye candy..hahahha..claire urs too ok!?..those baby face kinda guy..really really cute..his name is eddie peng yu yan btw..pictures below!!












in scent of love when the two leads kissed..his jawline is nice..haha..



this pic is ultimately cool!!..no words to describe can!!..this one really can swoon..ahhah..



cast of scent of love..












cute rite?!..very seldom to have an asian that is really cute!!..hahah..found another one!!..

Friday, January 20, 2006

brand new iPod

i got a brand new ipod!!..yeah!!..so happy..hahha..brought my previous one for servicing as it was really getting all screwed up..when the guy at the ishop plugged my ipod into his com..his whole com jammed up..hahha..which proves that it really needed servicing..and ta-da!!..they gave mi a brand new one!!..

rashes appeared all over my body and its itching the life outta mi!!..i awoke today due to the itchiness of those rashes..guess its the time for my annual rashes to come out!!..cold rash i tink..but this time its really really bad..its even creeped up to my face!!..i cant stop scratching so my skin is really red and ugly now..-sobs-..gonna see a doctor later..juz give mi sumthing to stop the itch!!!..

nothing much to say..being deprived of dota..brother bought warcraft battlechest!!(which i haf to pay half of the price for)..cool!!..hahah..

Monday, January 16, 2006

a new spark in life

i realised that ive been blogging at unearthly hours of the day where i shld be asleep..guess its during those hours where everyone's asleep and the air is nice and cool and the whole earth is silent, that serves as the perfect timings for mi to reflect on my life and various 'theories' that ive heard..

since ive spent quite a lot of time tinking abt a lot of stuff..im more or less done so can blog it down now in case i forget..

pastor david's chan was the icing on the cake..i beautiful finish to a masterpiece..the fullstop at the end of the sentence..the confirmation from god..i really loved his sermon..simple yet powerful..one that speaks from the simple faith of god..and i learnt loads..hearing his testimonies are like reading a fairy tale where there would always be a happy ending..its like the ideal life that i wana lead..and den i realise that these things were actually happening to real ppl in my lifetime!!..im not reading abt their lifestories in some fiction book..its actually real..a grp can grow by 20 in 2 weeks!!..y is it not possible?..y not?..

tts the most impt thing i learnt tt day..y not?..y do i keep saying that the jc grp is a hard ministry to grow?..y do i find excuses for my actions and thoughts?..y am i restricting god's miracles?..a simple faith is wat i know but need..the faith to say that "god, everything is possible..i want this, make it happen"..in 2006, i shall work towards having a simple faith..the central JC legacy shall start this year..and it ll keep coming..

reading the screwtape letters now..its really really nice!!..a lot of things that i wan to note down when i read the book..and i learnt stuff that i dun even know till i read the book..i learnt of sins that the devil inputs in mi that im not even aware of..thats scary..this means that all those thoughts are in the unconscious mind..hence from now on..i shall put conscious effort in every thought that i haf..hahah..

on a lighter note..i played dota!!!..yes i know its old but who cares man!?..went with classmates to play again today..we totally got trashed by wenjun..sad!!!..

2006 juz started and ive wasted one month already..whew gotta buck up..all ahead for god!!..see u at the end..

Friday, January 13, 2006

lets study!!

im seriously becoming a mugging freak..im studying like 4 out of 5 days!!..this is weird..its not normal..haven studied so much since sec sch..which prob explains the results of my As..its 4.15am and im supposed to be sleeping..but i haven studied and hence i cant sleep..wanted to tag at claire's blog before studying but..i realised that i kinda rejected my own..so anyways..lets continue..

its been freezing the past few days!!..rain rain rain..its raining men!!..is it?..bleah..randomness strikes mi..i get to wear my jacket/sweaters/shawls and im totally loving it..yet i cant wear jeans so much cos they get wet ard the feet areas..which means that when i wear jeans i would haf to wear heels but my heels hurt my feet so much tt i dun wan to wear them..hence, i try not to wear jeans..school takes up a lot of my life now..

was reading claire's entry to mi (im getting a bit egoistic here) when i realise that wat we toked abt was quite astonishingly true..gonna confess some feelings here..its going to be emotional..

i try not to show it..but im actually quite scared..its the new year..things are gonna change and..llamma left mi to go ns..maybe ive been slacking too much the past year..its kinda like u are so used to having a partner ard u when u do stuff and now, u are left all alone to make the decisions..theres no one to back u up when u fail, no one to tink of back-up plans, no one to collaborate when awakard moments come..in short, no one to share the burden with..but i know ive done it all on my own before..and i can do it..i guess its juz that ive fallen into the comfort zone and now, im forced to get out of it..which as we all know, isnt so easy at all..i see my path filled full with obstacles..and im scared..after all, im juz a helpless puny human trying to do something oh-so-wonderful for my wonderful god..but do i haf wat it takes?..im scared..

was reading psalms 105 juz now which calmed mi down so much..once again im remnded that god is in control of everything..that he never forgets his covenent with anyone, even if we haf done things to anger him so much that he turns his face away from us..he still wouldnt forget a covenent after he has made one..becos that is him..he cannot not do wat he said he would do..becos he is a consistent god..and he ll make wat he said come to pass..but once again, it takes two hands to clap..he's not in the covenent alone..im in it with him..he's not gonna back out on mi..am i gonna back out on him?..gosh i pray in a thousands year no!!..i ll strive to my best..no matter how tiring, scared, helpless, weak and tempted i feel, i know now that i ll hang on..i dun dare to say for the nxt decade or sumthing..but for now..i ll hang on..and i know he ll help mi..becos he has already told mi that he is my strength..and i trust him..

he sends help to mi in the form of ppl like xiangyu, whom i thank god so much for..i know that if anything happens to mi..i can totally rely on her to carry on..and ppl like my wonderful shepherd..who listens to my rants like no one else does..and i thank her for listening..becos sometimes..that is all that a person needs..god sends his love thru ppl..dun hurt those who love you..

i miss ruisi a lot..she's been hard at work and i dun get to tok to her so much..bleah..hope she rememebers mi too..hahah..

when i see the things happening ard mi..things that are so impossible and yet they do happen..im gripped by shock and wats tt word?..sadness?..bitterness?..no..helplessness..yup that's it..i try to give my 100% to everyone whom i pledge my life to..my sheep(s), claire, puay, joyce etc etc..but sometimes, im juz not there when they need ppl to tok to them..and when sumthing happens to them..i feel that its my fault..that i didnt spare the time for them..and den i start to console myself..how can one tiny mi be split into so many parts?..im only one person..i cant manage all at a time..and den i rmb a conversation that once i move on to making new frens..i ll miss out on the old times..so wat do i do?..get stuck in the past and dun move on?..no, that is not my characteristic..that is not mi..and so wat?..i lose out?..gosh i hope not..god ll not let this happen..i haf faith in him..once again..im reminded that im not living for myself..but for others..

i cant give one of mi to so many others at the same time..only god can do it..and i ll trust in him..all i know wat and how to do things..is to do it to the best of my understanding of how it could be done..i cant do more than that..if things do turn for the worse..wat else can i do?..rite?..

im a human being after all..sometimes i feel helpless..guess rite now, its one of those times..but dun worry abt mi..becos my god is sitting rite beside mi now..and im gonna cry my heart out to him..llamma's theory of the 3 levels of a person..no one's been at my 3rd layer, except Him..

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

muggers unite

i shld be mugging now..i haven done my application paper!!..oh well

went metamorphosis for half a day today..had to leave early cos my mom wans mi to be at hime actually..so in fact, i wasnt supposed to go out..i tink the games were really cool..tho i knew tt key was pulling his hair out the night before becos he had to tink of a back-up games plan..but, think it went well!!..was walking ard centrepoint with xinyi..not hiding from anyone at all, juz acting normal..wow..i like tt game..hahah..

new believers stuff are so cool nowadays..church has really grown from glory to glory..

llamma's going in tomorrow..starting to get sad now..

Sunday, January 08, 2006

some time now

ok blogspot is acting weird again..well since its the weekends..its time to do reflection on the new year before i get too lazy and decides to skip the whole thing..y do i wan to do reflections so much , ppl ask..becos i tink its important!!..one year is a loonnnggg time..many things happen in a year..ppl change, situations change, u change, lessons learnt..so many things..if u dun sit down and reflect on the good and bad stuff that happened in the past year..u arent putting a fullstop to the year 2005..its like doing something halfway and u go on to sumthing new without ever finishing..and hence, you tend to end up confused and..well, lost..that's juz for mi tho..im not sure whether u guys feel that way..

2005 to mi was a year of WOWs..hahah..this is the year that i feel that i've grown a lot a lot..there were many changes in my life that moulded mi, taught mi and filled mi..for the 1st 6 months i wasnt doing anything much cos i knew that my As were gonna suck and i wouldnt be able to go to any local universitites..and juz as any other graduated ppl, i started to look for a job..and as far as i could recall, this was the first lesson of the year..i was a CL with lemme tink, 7 sheeps..and finding a job was NOT easy at all..i had to haf days for shepherding, family time, cg, church and many many more..

1st lesson: do not compromise on God..

do not tink that u are still serving and accept jobs that require you to work on sats or full shift..this is very very impt..when u start compromising on little things..they WILL grow to big things..and den u start to not come becos u cant at first..slowly it turns to nvr come also never mind..and den..u dun go cg..and slowly..u backslide..i haf seen examples of this very incident happening..hey my batch is some kind like the experimental batch!!..we are the first to graduate and find jobs and do those stuff..hahah..man it was a tough time finding a job back den..from personal experience..IT WAS REALLY TOUGH..parents nagging u to find one, scolding you when u refuse to take one that requires u working on weekends etc etc..it was tough..but i didnt compromise!..first test of the year..and i passed..thank god..

2nd test came when i got back my As..i was really devastated..never before in my whole life had i got results such as these..not trying to say that im smart or watever..but so far from PSLE to Os, my results had been good..and i guess, i grew proud and complacent..and i tink..i dun need to study i also can get such results one..haha..of course not..i didnt do so well at all..i didnt fail any..but i couldnt get into any local Us..dilemma dilemma..i was tempted to blame god, bawl to him..ask him..WHY HOW WHY!?..but deep within mi i know its mine fault la..and somehow, i dunno where tt strength came from..i entrusted my future into his hands..i was like..god i cant go anywhere, i dun wana repeat so, wat are u going to do with mi now? i need help..and help came, surprisingly and unbelievingly, in the form of my parents..they took things into their hands..they found mi a new school, MDIS mass com..at first i refused their help..i juz couldnt see that they were the help tt god sent to mi..somehow, i juz got into MDIS..and slowly, i saw the plan god has in store for mi..i didnt get good results..but im doing somethng that i liked!!..something that i know my parents ll not let mido if i had good results to do like, business or sumthing..im getting okay grades now..i got into a class with great frens!!..my view of classmates was totally trodden in JC..but my new class gave mi some hope that classmates were meant to be fun after all..

im not saying that u dun need to study hard and no matter wat god ll provide a way..it IS true that no matter wat god ll provide a way..but if u dun do to ur best..den, god's best plan for you cant happen to you..he cant juz spoon-feed you for ur whole life can he?..life is a learning experience..learn!!..do u wan to go up to heaven without knowing anything abt god?..how fulfilling a life lived for him is?..no rite..spoon-feeing are for babies..so grow up!!

2nd lesson: trust God in ALL circumstances..

the rest of the events were in a blur..i couldnt rmg which one came first..juz gonna write down watever comes to my mind..god grew the cg..both quality and quatitive..tho im still striving very very hard..there is still A LOT to learn abt being a good CL tho..was toking to xiang yest..guess i really need to make effort in being with the grp after svs every sat..tho i hate to admit it..i knew abt it a long time ago but to hear someone else put it in words..it sucks!..im prideful i guess..shall work on both parts..making effort to be with the grp, and to be humble..

something else that i learnt in 2005, is to be aware of my own walk with god..forgiveness is a key lesson that everyone shld learn some point ( i hope its soon) in their lives..unforgivessness and bitterness affected mi so much the past year..so so much..that nearing the end of 2005, i was full of anger and bitterness which i wasnt even aware of!!..and boy was it affecting mi..i started to allow warped tots and useless tinkings into my mind..i myself was slowly backsliding from god..without knowing it!!..man satan is evil!..but camp made mi realised this..in camp i wrestled with the idea of throwing away my bitterness for god..it was hard..its not easy to forgive someone close to ur heart..but i did..becos i realised that bitterness and unforgiveness is NOT worth exchanging for knowing god better..no, not worth it..they chose their path, and im not letting them affect mi!!..its stupid to let other ppl affect you!!..i walk on my own path, not on others..the only footsteps that i will follow are god's..no one's else..thank you lord for reliving mi of this burden..u took it from my shoulders and gave mi peace..thank you so much..

another thing i wana thank god for last year is for him giving mi a whole new vision in my ministry..god showed mi the path that i was taking on my own..that it was a path of selfishness..i was unwilling to give up some parts of myself which i valued a lot..and i realise that i was capping myself from god's power..its impt to haf a vision in ur life..becos only den will u put ur best to all ur actions..ok take for example if u set ur target to be 80 marks..so u work hard with the thought of attaining 80 marks, u ll put in the effort to attain 80 marks..sumtimes u get 80, other times u dun..but if u work hard with 100 marks in view..den u ll put in the effort for 100 marks..and even if u dun get 100, maybe u ll get like 90 marks..which is way more than 80 marks..if u dun haf a vision, den u dunno where to work towards..and most prob, u ll get lost..

god grew mi to be closer to my family too..my dad started realising things abt mi that he hasnt seen before..and im so happy for each one of these realisations..it showed mi that god's work is being displayed thru mi!!..that god is working his way into my family..i know i still gotta try really hard..but to see the buds of the fruits are oh-so-encouraging..

i shall set out my resolutions now (not in order of preference):
1) to set quality time aside for god EVERYDAY
2) stop clubbing
3) spend more time with cg after svs
4) spend more quality time with sheep(s)
5) study hard and TRY REALLY HARD to dun pon classes
6) tithe every month
7) read more christian books
8) dun leave stuff to the last min
9) be nicer and more tolerant with parents

many things happened in 2005, juz one year..it showed mi how one year can prove to hold so many changes and learning points..i cant wait for 2006..new things are gonna happen..and im so excited!!..central f are now in AOC..new ppl, new perseonalities..so many new things..i juz cant wait!!..i mean, who knows what's in store for mi in the new year?..i know that i ll grow..

Thursday, January 05, 2006

a day after

the reformed gurl still goes thru a lot of tests..in fact much more now..moving onto another area of my life..to be nicER to my parents..a whole lot nicer..and its really tough..sighs

well things arent always tt solemn ard mi..its juz my reflective nature that im blogging down..first week of the year proves that 2006 would be a year of excitement, challenges, struggle, love and growth..looking forward to it..and of course..it would definately be fun..

being back to school isnt tt bad for mi..thank god for tt..apart from the changes in sleeping patterns(ironically which im studying now)..it has been enjoyable so far..getting back to classmates was a real bang..esp MAD ppl like emmulin wee..i tell u, theres no other word to describe this gurl..this is wat she did TODAY only..

she dragged mi to go holland v so we took 970..no 2 seats so we all sat with some other ppl beside us..emu was behind mi..so we started to play ard and she accidentally hit the woman sitting beside mi..and this is wat she said "oh sorry sorry..she hit u one" den she turned to mi and said "see la anyhow hit ppl..even tho she very 'chao' also dun need to hit her rite"..i was like..wat the frick!?..so embarrassed!!..and den..she and wenjun were so-called arguing abt something..den after a while, she turned to an indian man sitting behind wenjun and said to him "hey he very noisy hoh"..omg..she needs therapy man!!..serious therapy..she's mad!..

went minds cafe for harry's farewell..by the time u are reading this..his head would haf been shaven..went to thread his eyebrows yest with puay and claire..i saw tears in his eyes!!..hahaha..tts was funny..went llamma's hse for mahjong..played fatal frame 3 too..cg tml..going for dinner..went tony roma's today with my family!!..

yup, the year is starting out wonderfully..

reformed

i cant study till i get this issue off my chest!!..lemme touch on a very controversial issue that is troubling mi now..in hope, its counted as a grey area..but to mi, ive finally seen that it is a BLACK area..let us start to discuss abt this..clubbing..

my stand in the past: its ok to go sometimes and dun sin
my stand now: its not ok to go AT ALL. period.

yes i can see the arguements forming in ur mind..dan is rite in one aspect..there are certain things tt u haf to fight for..and im gonna fight for my stand in this..pls take note..im not 'brainwashing' you or watever term u replace it on you..im telling you my point..and u decide whether im right..

i HATE clubs now..if i haf the power to close every single one of them, i would do it immediately with zero qualms..but i dun!!..and so i haf to go thru this..im a reformed girl..no more clubbing for mi..that phase is over..and how i thank god for that..

to mi, ppl who clubs often can never be leaders..period..look at my statement carefully..i said ppl who clubs OFTEN..meaning that ppl who go clubbing for no reason watsoever at all..juz in the name of fun..lemme explain y..

some ppl tink that they can withstand sin..who agrees that clubs DO tempt you?..they bait you with sin..drinking, getting high, smoking, dirty dancing watever i dun care..so u reckon that u are strong and smart enuf?..lemme tell you, but if u are, u wouldnt even be there at all!..becos u would be smart to know NEVER to put urself in a position for temptations to haf a chance to gain a foothold on you..prevention is better than cure am i not right?..wat in the world do u go there for to let the devil haf a chance to tempt you!?..

even if they are strong and smart enuf to withstand..they still can never be a leader..becos the church haf to tink abt the ppl..if ur leader goes clubbing often..the members would tink that its okay to go rite?..u are strong, biblical or smart to resist sin..but are ur ppl like you?..haf they reached tt stage?..how can u gurantee that they are?..

clubbing stops you from growing..it caps god's power..becos god cant allow u to lead his ppl with such a lifestyle..sumthing tt i learnt this year..learn to value only one thing in ur life..with that simple sentence..i gurantee you that u ll grow..it all boils down to this..wat is better and wat is best..

wat is better and wat is best?!

2nd grp of ppl..ppl who go becos they haf a valid reason..may it be a school party or fren's party or whoever in the world's party..u haf a reason, u are obligated to go..den it boils down to this..a choice..

1) dun go: frens ll be upset, u might offend someone, god ll be pleased, you ll grow, ppl looks up to you
2) go: frens ll be happy, please someone, sadden god, capping potential for growth, ppl are looking at you

so choose!!..ur decision reflects ur maturity..it reflects wat do u actually value the most..wat is better, and wat is best..

ok i can sense some ppl gonna tell mi..but jinqi!!..you urself haf gone before!!..yes i admit that i did..and to tell u the truth..im not proud of it now..every time i went..sin tempted and captivated mi..i lose some of my credibility not only to others..but to my own self as well..

but there is something that im happy that i went clubbing for..and that is i am in the position to discuss abt this whole clubbing issue with any single one of you..becos i haf been there myself and i ve experienced it..i know wat its like..i haf been drunk before..i ve smoked before..i ve done all of those detestable things that i HATE so much before..and i ve overcome every single one of those things..

i still drink but i know my limit..i dun drink more than 2 glasses..which brings mi to another issue..i haf totally no understanding of ppl who get drunk often..who wants to get high..i find tt absolutely stupid..sorry if i hurt ur pride..but tts my view..first time u get drunk, ok!!..u dunno how much u can take..following tt if u still get drunk..are u doing it on purpose?..

i smoked..i quit..i went clubbing..i was tempted..so i smoked again..again, i quit..i know that this temptation ll stay with mi for my whole life..each time i walk past a person who smokes..im tempted..and to this day..im still holding strong..i overcame it..

i know wat its like to be with a guy in a club..even a gurl..ive been there and done that..but i overcame it..

benefits?..god is happy..and tt is enuf..

ive done all tt..i know wat its like..im still tempted but im holding stong..if i can do it y cant u?!..its NOT willpower..its how stong a desire u haf..tell mi of any reason that u tink is valid to go clubbing..and i ll debaunt any one of them..of that, i haf the confidence..

life is full of choices..i ll tok abt this in another entry..choose den..use ur brain..use ur willpower..use god's strength and choose..if u wan to be more..to do more for god..den give it up..but there are some who dun wan the added responsibility of growing..they are happy the way they are..to them..im sorry but u value something different from mi..and im telling you..u are missing out on so so so much..but each to his own views..i cant change ur view..but listen..my views are not important!!..ur views are not important!!..wat are god's views?!..that is impt..

im not restricting my sheep(s) from going clubbing..all of you know, im not a shepherd who would tell u wat to do unless u ask mi..becos i believe that u are matured and know wat u wan..underage clubbing is a straight NO from mi..and i would be very disappointed if u did tt..if ur reason is to go for the experience, im totally okay with it..but not others..but my disappointment doesnt matter..no it doesnt!!..im not impt!!..wat is more impt is all of you!!..i wan you all to grow..i wan all of you to know..that no matter wat, my disappointment doesnt matter as much as god's disappointment..compared to his, mine doesnt matter..

there..ive got it off my chest..i feel much better..

Be careful, however,
that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.
For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol's temple,
won't he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols?
So this weak brother, for whom Christ died,
is destroyed by your knowledge.
When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience,
you sin against Christ.
Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin,
I will never eat meat again,
so that I will not cause him to fall.
1 Cor 8: 9-12
Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.
Everything is permissible but not everything is constructive.
Noboday should seek his own good, but the good of others.
1 Cor 10:23-24
For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit,
and the Spirit [desires] what is contrary to the sinful nature.
They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want to do.
But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
Gal 5:16-18

reflection

wanting badly to do refelctions but i guess i shld really study for my quiz tml..gonna burn midnight oil den..maybe i ll do it later in the night..

went minds cafe for harry's farewell thing today..brought him to eye-brow treading too..cha cha cha..its all gone now..so much neater..im crapping..sighs..

gonna go study!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

llamma

am at llamma's house now with dan and angela..a so-called relaxation thing before i start my school tml..sad..for 9 days, i juz need to attend school from 9am to 1230pm..so wu liao rite?!..sighs..

key was here juz now before he went off for school too..we played mahjong and i lost horribly!!..this is so juz not my day..blah!!..

ok im bored now..the guys are playing winning eleven while angela is stuck outside llamma's hse cos he doesnt haf the key!!..tt is juz plain weird!..we are locked in his house!!..i cant wait for angela to be here so i would haf some company while the guys play their stuff..

Sunday, January 01, 2006

finally haf some free time to post up all the pics that ive accumulated since camp..was packing my room the whole of today..due to my mom's intention of cleaning up the whole house before repainting it..i hate packing my room..theres too many things that i dun wana throw..and seriously..i dun see the point for packing my room cos..rooms are supposed to be messy rite..that's a room..its ur place..if its clean and spotless..den it juz becomes..a showroom..something foreign to you..rite?..

and why in the world did god create dust?!..it gets into my eyes and nose and makes my whole face feel itchy..urgh..i dun like to hear the word 'pack' from my mom..she really likes things to be neat and clean..i tink that walking into my room is one of her biggest nightmares coming true..oh well..

here are the pictures!..courtesy to other ppl's cameras..sighs..i really wan a digicam!!



this is taken on during cl meeting..we were celebrating dan's bday in guess where..old HOT istana park!!..so hot la!!..and i was wearing my wool vest thing..first ever pic of the new AOC dmm..



dan's idea for all of us to act cool..i look like im kissing elise la!!..i was supposed to haf this tao look..but oh well..samuel is not posing at all..pfff..(gosh that's puay's word)



i forgot wat was i supposed to be acting as..hahah..supposed to look like im enjoying wat i was eating..but honestly..i look horrible here ah..



eileen and mi at kbox!!..quite dark ah..i miss lily and baoyue!!..



mi and claire at starhub wearing trucker caps and looking cool..hahaha..this pic rox..im so in love with trucker caps now..im gonna get one..wat colour shld i get?



AOC group pic at camp!!..first ever AOC pic too..too bad i dun haf pics of us at ecp ah..



the games com and actors!!..it was really fun working with u guys..missisng it already..




Elves won!!..as u can see..the other 2 houses are NOT happy at all..(male ego)..who cares abt them?!..elves won!!..



a nice pic of us (pretending to be civil and peaceful but in fact the humans and orcs hate us)..



pic of 2 humans and an orc..its only thru god tt i got to know ppl like those in the games com..god is really great..hhaha..

yup..tts abt it..gonna slp now cos i wana get rid of my hunger pangs..yikes!..haven tot abt my new year resolutions yet..shall do tt tml..nitez peeps!